Under the Influence

Old 09-19-2005, 07:36 PM
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Under the Influence

just finished this book and now i have really conflicting messages - the book recommends to NOT let them hit their bottom; to force them into a rehab; as lots who recovered got there because they were threatened by spouse or the job or a judge, and they realized after they sobered up for awhile that they did become grateful that they were forced into it. this book was written in the 80's, and it highly recommends AA, but indicates a few differences such as this. it also suggested that the high sugar diets should be abstained from as that could trigger cravings and low blood sugar bouts which could possibly lead to wanting another drink. lots of useful info in it, but the hitting bottom thing has me wondering again if i went the best way.
anybody have any thoughts on this?
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Old 09-19-2005, 08:28 PM
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My favorite

'handvook' on alcoholism!

The diet plan in the back of the book is so healthy ... and not just in early recovery from alcoholism.

I think the difference between AA's 'hit bottom' and Dr. Milams idea is the time written.

Treatment centers were not there in 1939 when the Big Book was printed.
Ergo... not an option to be considered.

Did you do the right thing? I do not know..

In the 20+ years of my AA involcment I have one observation on this....

If an alcoholic is going to quit drinking they will.
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Old 09-19-2005, 08:34 PM
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too much on my plate!!
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I know that my threats of leaving xabf, pushed him right into AA for 13 months. But with the same threats a year later, he could care less.

Before, when he was sober, he thanked me at one of his birthday meetings, in front of everyone. He said that had it not of been for me leaving he would have never gotten sober. But that only lasted for a short time.

I don't think you can force someone to get help, and we all know they will probably try to run the opposite direction.

Like you said it was written in the 80's; lots of changes in the last twenty years.
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Old 09-19-2005, 08:43 PM
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Personally.... if I am forced into anything...I rebel.

And I do not agree with Dr, Milam's idea.

And I do not agree with all of AA's suggestions. did the best you could in the situation.
God has His own plam.

Blessings and Prayers for your peace.
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Old 09-19-2005, 09:01 PM
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Hi,From a flyer i got in an AA meeting,agrees,that there are many ways an alcoholic comes through the doors of recovery.From this flyer,although the strength of our program lies in the voluntary nature of membership in AA ,many of us first attend meetings because we were forced to,either by someone else or by our inner discomfort.But continual exposure to AA educated us to the true nature of our illness......We then developed a ...desire...for a happy,sober life....{comes from within}
The BB makes reference to why must alcoholics hit bottom?Because,there wont be any seriousness to working program or to get sober,if we dont hit bottom,.This is, not the exact wording from the BB,.
When you look at your own life,when was it that you decided to make changes in your life?When you hurt enough.?When you had enough,and had a desire to make changes.So to it is with the alcoholic.No one can make this choice for another nor force the desire to quit drinking.,in another,It comes from within.Ya can lead a horse to water,,but....ya cant make them drink it.Tis true.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless take care!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-19-2005, 09:03 PM
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I left my 18 yo s/a no choice but to go inpatient. Didn't work. He left home after two weeks of being home. Called and asked for help 10 days ago. Well after bailing him out of this mess he left again tonight. He was using. I don't know what to tell you. I tried it both ways with almost the same result. First time, he cost me 17,000 for rehab, pay back to dealer. This time, he signed a contract with clear limits and boundries and asked to borrow 420 to get out of another mess. Since he came to me this time I thought he meant it when he said it was the worst month of his life. But he went back for more.

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Old 09-19-2005, 10:11 PM
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I believe even court ordered A's , ordered to go to AA is good.
AA spoils their drinking, and the fear of walking thru those doors is gone, two good things, IMO. Then it is up to them.
Most in AA go back to drinking. Some for one night, some for years. etc . then finally back to AA .
Then there are those that never go back to AA, and choose to drink.

I also feel that detox should give them an IV with all the vitamins that alcohol depleted. IMO that would give them such an extra good feeling that soberiety might look good. Treatment centers give vitamins the last I knew, but I suspect the A's don't keep taking them.
To me that book is SOLID GOLD, tells both A and SO, that is is very likely heredity,
rather than a bad childhood or some trama, weak will , psychological problems.etc.
More on the order of picking up the gene weakness to becoming diabetic.

The book is hard to read, I had to watch the words and not read psychological
when the word was physiological.
To me it answered the why's? Why does he drink?? Why can't he just quit.

Sorry I can not remember what you did that you are wondering about???
I just know I wish I would have read that book long ago.
I would have pushed vitamins and had no sweets in the house.
Can't usually get a man to read books like this, thats why the treatment program should have discussions on this book.
We all do the best we can with what we know or feel in each situation.
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Old 09-19-2005, 10:46 PM
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I think what friends & family do for the A when they force rehab & AA meetings, etc. is education. They make sure that the horse knows where the water is when they're ready to drink. Getting the new ideas (steps of recovery, where to get support, etc.) filed in the A's head to be retreived when an A is ready to really to think about them and consider them. But I think its important to do a cost-benefit analysis when you provide help to someone: does providing help to someone seem to just keep costing you and costing you? without any benefit?--then it might be that you're being manipulated and need to think about protecting yourself.
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