I feel like I am falling apart lately
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
I feel like I am falling apart lately
This summer has been a very tough one. Spouse went into 2 rehabs and left and has not really maintained any sense of sobriety. I feel like my once stable life went into shambles. I made my AH leave, couldn't deal with it anymore.
Then about 6 weeks he was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and he moved back home. THings have been better for the most part. He has had some relapses, but he's been sober for the last two weeks.
Lately, he has been telling me he wishes to drink at night (his usual drinking time) and since he feels dfiferently now that his bipolar is treated, he feels like he might not be alcoholic. Hearing this scares me to death, I keep telling him it is the addiction talking. So far he hasn't taken a drink with it.
I've had to go back to working full-time recently as we need the money. He has been on disability for all this, but it's a lot less money than he was making. WE are waiting right now to see if they will approve more time for him to be on disability. I hope he will go back to work soon as we need the money.
I have a 16 month old son who is very active, sometimes he drives me crazy, I feel like a bad mother saying this. I'm tired a lot with work and all and this summer trying to deal with an AH has probably put me over the edge.
Today I just started crying. Does this all sound normal to you? I feel so much stress at times and like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, it feels like more than I can handle at times. I feel like going crazy. I think my little boy puts me over the edge.
I am praying a lot and going to Alanon.
Thanks for listening. This is always a good place to come.
It has been good to have my AH back, I'm just so scared that a roller coaster is about to start again and to be honest, I don't think I can do this anymore. My body has used all of its reserves these last few months.
Then about 6 weeks he was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and he moved back home. THings have been better for the most part. He has had some relapses, but he's been sober for the last two weeks.
Lately, he has been telling me he wishes to drink at night (his usual drinking time) and since he feels dfiferently now that his bipolar is treated, he feels like he might not be alcoholic. Hearing this scares me to death, I keep telling him it is the addiction talking. So far he hasn't taken a drink with it.
I've had to go back to working full-time recently as we need the money. He has been on disability for all this, but it's a lot less money than he was making. WE are waiting right now to see if they will approve more time for him to be on disability. I hope he will go back to work soon as we need the money.
I have a 16 month old son who is very active, sometimes he drives me crazy, I feel like a bad mother saying this. I'm tired a lot with work and all and this summer trying to deal with an AH has probably put me over the edge.
Today I just started crying. Does this all sound normal to you? I feel so much stress at times and like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, it feels like more than I can handle at times. I feel like going crazy. I think my little boy puts me over the edge.
I am praying a lot and going to Alanon.
Thanks for listening. This is always a good place to come.
It has been good to have my AH back, I'm just so scared that a roller coaster is about to start again and to be honest, I don't think I can do this anymore. My body has used all of its reserves these last few months.
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Meli, you are overwhelmed.
It's perfectly normal to react to that the way you are.
And find me a parent whose 16 month old DOESN'T drive them crazy and you will have found a Saint in our times.
You aren't a bad mother.
You are dealing with a lot of stress and that makes one cranky and irritable.
You need a break my friend.
Is there anyone who could watch your boy so you could get some much needed time to yourself?
If not, maybe a walk in the park with him or some outside activity to burn off some stress for you both.
Here's hoping that things start looking up for you soon.
Sending some light your way.
It's perfectly normal to react to that the way you are.
And find me a parent whose 16 month old DOESN'T drive them crazy and you will have found a Saint in our times.
You aren't a bad mother.
You are dealing with a lot of stress and that makes one cranky and irritable.
You need a break my friend.
Is there anyone who could watch your boy so you could get some much needed time to yourself?
If not, maybe a walk in the park with him or some outside activity to burn off some stress for you both.
Here's hoping that things start looking up for you soon.
Sending some light your way.
(((((meli))))
It sounds like you have been taking care of everyone but YOU. I don't think your hubby is really in a position to diagnose whether he is an alcoholic or not. Neither am I, but I'm willing to bet it's the disease talking, and him trying to rationalize in his own mind that he can drink again.
What have you done for YOU lately?
Hugs,
Savana
It sounds like you have been taking care of everyone but YOU. I don't think your hubby is really in a position to diagnose whether he is an alcoholic or not. Neither am I, but I'm willing to bet it's the disease talking, and him trying to rationalize in his own mind that he can drink again.
What have you done for YOU lately?
Hugs,
Savana
Yes you are normal. 16 month olds DO drive people crazy.
Any way to get some baby sitting help, other parents etc?
Focus on yourself right now. not him.
Put the oxygen mask over *YOU* first...dont forget that.
Any way to get some baby sitting help, other parents etc?
Focus on yourself right now. not him.
Put the oxygen mask over *YOU* first...dont forget that.
Hi Meli,
I was wondering how you were doing. You're a nurse and are used to taking care of people ( I hear ya. I was in the nursing field for 10 years before switching over to psychology).
He can't be drinking while on meds for his bipolar diagnosis. And, him thinking that he could handle the drinking now is just a rationalization. I did that when I was drinking years ago. I'd lay off of it for awhile and then say "Oh, one glass of wine won't hurt me". But, it did.......eventually.
I can't drink even one SIP of alcohol. #1) I don't want to #2) it'd kill me cuz of my stomach problems CAUSED by the alcohol.
I was thinking about that the other day. I was wondering how mothers with young children handle an AS and taking care of the kids at the same time. Cuz, in alot of ways.......they're both the same. Both demand SO much attention from others.
You must be absolutely drained I agree with the others and especially Gabe, is there someone that can watch your baby just while you get some rest? We're only human and our bodies break down and burn out if we don't give them a break now and then.
Please take a needed break!
((HUGS))
I was wondering how you were doing. You're a nurse and are used to taking care of people ( I hear ya. I was in the nursing field for 10 years before switching over to psychology).
He can't be drinking while on meds for his bipolar diagnosis. And, him thinking that he could handle the drinking now is just a rationalization. I did that when I was drinking years ago. I'd lay off of it for awhile and then say "Oh, one glass of wine won't hurt me". But, it did.......eventually.
I can't drink even one SIP of alcohol. #1) I don't want to #2) it'd kill me cuz of my stomach problems CAUSED by the alcohol.
I was thinking about that the other day. I was wondering how mothers with young children handle an AS and taking care of the kids at the same time. Cuz, in alot of ways.......they're both the same. Both demand SO much attention from others.
You must be absolutely drained I agree with the others and especially Gabe, is there someone that can watch your baby just while you get some rest? We're only human and our bodies break down and burn out if we don't give them a break now and then.
Please take a needed break!
((HUGS))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lancaster
Posts: 120
I don't really have any advice but I wanted to let you know I know what you are going through. I am a single mom and even when I was married I was a single mom and I worked both a full time and a part time job and had 100% of the responsibility for the house and the baby. I was lucky because I have an awesome family and they live close by and were a tremendous help with my son. One thing I did that was a big help was I joined a local gym that provided babysitting services. It was a great help because I could get rid of a lot of my stress by either taking a class (kickboxing was great) or just working out and my son was safe in the same building. Maybe you could find a reasonably priced gym or even a local YMCA that offers babysitting services.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
Thanks to all you wonderful people. We went to the movies yesterday and afterward stopped by a coffee shop, just the two of us adults.
Yes, the rationalizations about drinking are hard to hear, esp when he needs to get better.
Hey Girlfriend, thanks for your personal take on this having dealt with alcoholism in self, etc. That helps. Do you think this is a normal thing to a point?
I have reminded him what alcohol did to him. I think the addiction is making his mind forget how bad it really was and what it did to him. It made him lose all ambitions and dreams and he wasn't very helpful around the house, either. He said one time if he continues to drink he will die. So now to hear him saying this is crazy. Last night, I did talk to him more and I think I got more through to him, etc.
Thanks again to ALL who listened and replied. It helps.
Yes, the rationalizations about drinking are hard to hear, esp when he needs to get better.
Hey Girlfriend, thanks for your personal take on this having dealt with alcoholism in self, etc. That helps. Do you think this is a normal thing to a point?
I have reminded him what alcohol did to him. I think the addiction is making his mind forget how bad it really was and what it did to him. It made him lose all ambitions and dreams and he wasn't very helpful around the house, either. He said one time if he continues to drink he will die. So now to hear him saying this is crazy. Last night, I did talk to him more and I think I got more through to him, etc.
Thanks again to ALL who listened and replied. It helps.
Originally Posted by meli2005
Hey Girlfriend, thanks for your personal take on this having dealt with alcoholism in self, etc. That helps. Do you think this is a normal thing to a point?
Hey Meli,
Maybe not normal, but sure is common. It's just another sign that the A isn't quite ready to totally quit, yet.
When I was ready to quit, I quit. Didn't want ANYTHING to do with alcohol anymore, period. But, then again....that's how I stopped smoking after 22 years. Cold turkey. My whole family smoked at one point or another and each one of us had decided to give it up and just put the last one out and that was it.
I guess we just did it for so long that, when we were ready, we did it with help from above.
Is he still getting counseling? Cuz, if he's on meds for the bipolar, he'll still need the counseling. They go hand in hand. Can't just do one and not the other. This way, he can peel off the layers of whatever it is that he's running from.
Glad you had a better day!
((hugs))
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Boca Raton, FL
Posts: 9
Be very careful with this combo. Six days prior to my xabf's arrest on domestic violence charges I took him to a detox. During admission I asked the staff member facilitating the intake to note that Bipolar Disorder should be considered as I had witnessed both mania and manic episodes (cycling) during his sobriety. He was admitted and placed on Librium, then given a combination of prescriptions to take and continue to take upon his release.
The prescription(s) prescribed were for Lexapro, Vistaril and Ambien. Yet Lexapro cautions “danger to patients with a history of mania’ because in placebo-controlled trials of Lexapro, activation of mania/hypomania was reported. Furthermore Lexapro and Vistaril both effect the Central Nervous System (CNS) and both come with a warning that caution should be exercised when used with other drugs that either stimulate or depress the CNS, yet both were prescribed simultaneously. While Librium (probably still prevalent) cautions combining with Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) like Celexa (citalopram), (the main ingredient in Lexapro) and Paxil (the script he was taking for 8 weeks prior to his admission and noted in the admission).
24 hours after he was released he consumed alcohol. In the 7 years we were together I had never witnessed or been the recipient of any violence. His behavior on the day of this incident was a radical departure from his normal demeanor. It is my conviction that the alcohol in combination with these meds fueled the unfortunate episode that followed.
The prescription(s) prescribed were for Lexapro, Vistaril and Ambien. Yet Lexapro cautions “danger to patients with a history of mania’ because in placebo-controlled trials of Lexapro, activation of mania/hypomania was reported. Furthermore Lexapro and Vistaril both effect the Central Nervous System (CNS) and both come with a warning that caution should be exercised when used with other drugs that either stimulate or depress the CNS, yet both were prescribed simultaneously. While Librium (probably still prevalent) cautions combining with Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) like Celexa (citalopram), (the main ingredient in Lexapro) and Paxil (the script he was taking for 8 weeks prior to his admission and noted in the admission).
24 hours after he was released he consumed alcohol. In the 7 years we were together I had never witnessed or been the recipient of any violence. His behavior on the day of this incident was a radical departure from his normal demeanor. It is my conviction that the alcohol in combination with these meds fueled the unfortunate episode that followed.
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