Married to the King of Denial
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Henderson, NV
Posts: 14
Married to the King of Denial
I posted already, but don't see it. Forgive if I goofed. I'm new to this, not new to being married to a drunk, I'm an expert at that! Last husband was sober 6 years, into recovery, meetings, sponsored people, really good recovery going until he picked up, been drunk since. That was about 8 years ago. Got away from him with my child, two years later remarried my first husband who was a perfect husband in 1969. I'm the one that messed up. I was too young, too insecure. Anybody know what FINE means? We married in 2001 and, whoa, he's a drunk, but in denial big time. My 12-year-old daughter went through enough with her own father and now this. She's very, very attached to him and, well, he and I go back to 1967 together. I ran away from the last one, but now I feel too old and tired to do this again! I really need a sponsor. I hate meetings, though with the last husband I was involved and went to lots of meetings. I went to CODA for a while, but that's a bunch of dysfunctional people trying to date each other! I'm overweight and self-conscious and don't like to mix in a crowd. I need somebody to talk to, be able to communicate with.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
No it was there...I answered...where was it? Newcomers? Anyway...your life belongs to you. You have choices. If today is not the day then maybe tomorrow will be, but hopefully the day will come when you decide that you are worth it!
Life does not go on around you, you have to create it for yourself and your daughter. Self esteem issues are a biggie around here.
Make yourself at home!
JT
Life does not go on around you, you have to create it for yourself and your daughter. Self esteem issues are a biggie around here.
Make yourself at home!
JT
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I'm overweight and self-conscious and don't like to mix in a crowd.
I found that my lack of self-esteem and lack of self-love played a key role in my choice of partners. I settled for a partner that deep-down I knew was an alcoholic (although I was in denial for years) because I thought he was all I could find and all I deserved.
Nobody deserves to be treated poorly, to live in chaos, to settle for something less, to live in fear. Not even you. I'd like to recommend three books that helped me out immensely. They have nothing to do with alcohol, but everything to do with the reasons you may have repeatedly chosen alcoholics as partners:
(All by Geneen Roth) When Food is Love, Feeding the Hungry Heart, and Why Weight?
Tomorrow, why don't you mosey over to your local book store, grab yourself a nice latte, and pick up these books? Then put aside one hour a day and start reading. I think you'll find a lot of yourself within those pages and you'll begin to understand how you got to where you are today.
Sometimes, having an alcoholic in our family isn't the only problem that plagues us, it's simply a symptom of a problem that exists within ourselves.
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