JennyK

think that my husband is so funny and wonderful and kind and loving.

I was out with the girls tonight and they kept bringing up how great it was that he was staying home with the kids and that he offered this, that and the other thing to them at various times, and that they loved how he always spoke so highly of me and that he was such a great father and how he makes them laugh and that how he is such a wonderful guy.

I wonder if I talk him up too much, although I don't think I do. I wonder if he really is this great person who everyone is drawn too. I wonder if I am SOOOO focused on the aspect of his alcohlism that I am failing to see all of these other things. I wonder if my friends KNOW what is really going on and are trying to make me feel better. I wonder if I do have it pretty good, as my husband does truely love me and our children and our friends. I wonder, WHY I let him dominate so much of my mind.

I find it interesting that most of my conversations lately have something do to with him.

It is time to step back and refocus on ME. I want my friends to talk about me. Weird. I was irked tonight when I was out with the girls and it was suppose to be all about us, that the conversation turned to him....over and over again. Was I doing it? I don't know. He was home with the kids, totally sober and being boring. GOD, we our lives are so embedded in each other.

I am interesting...reallly...maybe I need to find some friends who don't know him.

Jenny

Pick-a-name

Yes: I have been thinking the same lately. A/H is divorcing me........why do I still "stick up for him"? My son, daughter and her boyfriend are fedup with me. Say he is a jerk that treats me/them badly because he would rather drink and do what he wants.........why do I want to be with him. I should be divorcing him. Daughter said "you act like he is a god............he is a jerk............be glad you won't be stuck with him." I'm not, but part of me wishes I would feel that way; the other part weeps that my children feel this way about their own father; that stranger who is/was the love of my life.

This has been a bad night.

finedivasoc

Wow Jenny,

I so totally know what you're feeling. So many people put my husband on a pedastal and nearly all of them have nothing bad to say about the alcoholic I know I live with.

I even contacted in confidence a friend of my husband's who has been sober for 6 years regarding my husband's behavior. (I'm still second-guessing myself about whether or not my husband REALLY has a drinking problem, so I called our close friend for support.) And the friend began to grill ME? Then during the conversation, he implied that my husband and I may decide to divorce because of our differences, though he himself had no opinion one way or the other. Isn't just bringing up the D-word interjecting one's opinion on the situation? I never said divorce. Who said divorce?

So, now like yourself, I'd rather find new friends who don't have any pre-conceived notions about my husband. Actually I'm so peeved by today's conversation, I'd kinda like a divorce.

I have really got to get a grip. There is nothing more distressing than feeling like you must be delusional cause no one else sees the giant elephant in the room.