bikerprincess

Okay I could use a pep talk. Remember two weeks or so about me saying enough is enough with the back and forth Exhusband(my A) I did the right thing I KNOW THAT. Since then I have been dating (casually) a very fun cool guy, whom I get along very well with. Last night, my daughter spent the evening with my ex and when I got home it took every thing I have not to pursue our relationship. I could have gotten an EMMY award for my performance. I acted totally uninterested in him or even in petty conversation. I put on my jammies and went in my room to watch TV. He was on my PC. he doesn't have internet access in his house. I think he lingered a little longer in hopes that I would compromise my decision but I didn't and he left and I went to bed.
OKAY... Today I am missing him sooooooo much. When I say him...let me assure you it is the "dream" of the perfect him, you know that way I think he will be. It hurts my heart sooooo much that we can't be together. I am not going to call him......I am pretty sure, but I am having anxiety attacks waiting for the phone to ring with him on the line, begging me to work out our problems.........................What is wrong with me? Why can't I get past this dream?????

journeygal

You don't need an exorcism, but maybe you should make a list of all the reasons why you decided to end it with you ex and keep it in plain view, easily accessable. If you're sure you don't want him back, then every time you feel weak, remind yourself of the reasons you left in the first place. It might help to clear your head.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Bikerprincess.

The daydream is a habit. The responses are a habit. The more you make yourself behave differently the easier it gets, just like with any habit. There is nothing wrong with you at all. You're just getting started and it's normal to feel the pull of old patterns. You handled it like a champ.

Hugs,
Smoke