Another Crossroads
 

I have been reading these boards and thank you all you have helped me already.

Tonight my AH drove home from pub and crashed new car (not badly damaged and no one hurt but that is hardly the point).

He has been building up to this and I know he will stop drinking now for a while.

I am so sick of this cycle. I have sympathised with him regarding his problems, I have gotten angry and comfronted him. I have covered up, I have prentended nothing is wrong I hve taken charge of our lives, I have thrown the responsibility back to him. Basicially the coping mechanisms you all have used at one time or another.

When he came home (after I warned him not to drink and drive like he dosen't know that's wrong), with the news I was relieved that he hadn't done worse.

He is of course fast asleep.

I am wondering where we go from here.

I know ultiamatums are not good but how do I set boundaries.

Bit of History. H is sexual abuse survivor and has been in councelling and has made lots of progress at times. He has got abuser convicted and jailed. Last couple of years have been a bit of a rollercoaster.

Yes; that sounds familiar.......makes me tired even reading it,thinking about it all. Well, like the others have said, stick around here,etc and you can learn how to jump off that blasted ride...even if for a few minutes at a time...it does help!

Post often!

Him being abused is awful and I guess that you have expended a great deal of energy worrying yourself sick over him. It's really hard to accept that you can't control how he chooses to deal with his pain. Seems that it is not uncommon for A's to have some trajic childhood. My xabf's father sort of abandoned him. It has helped me to read whatever I can about this disease. You will soon see that he is not as unique as you may now beleive. And neither are you and the role you play. You MUST take care of you.