My Codependent Ways are Back in Full Force
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Anywhere but here
Posts: 44
My Codependent Ways are Back in Full Force
My codependent ways are back. I was doing so good for so long, but not anymore. My ABF is at the bar as usual. He's there every night so that's nothing new. But I need somebody to give me a wakeup call again. I know I should just be getting on with my own life, but I am having a heck of a time doing that. I just needed to vent and I need somebody to wake me up... again. 
brightlight
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Detachment
Posts: 201
My AH is at the bar tonight. Stayed home until 9 after drinking 5 cans of beer and this is Sunday! Time for bed and after my big fit with him staying at the bar when it is time for bed, he goes to the bar when it is time for bed. He is so cute! I am going to bed and WHATEVER! Good place for him and probably your ABF! Be positive and they hate it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Weimar, Texas 78962
Posts: 7
To Codependent
Detaching is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I have been an AA member for 23 years and of Alanon for 20 years.
Just remember, you have to keep trying. I do not know if you go to meetings or not, but I strongly recommend that you do. Be sure that your group gives only suggestions and does NOT give advice. I pray that you believe as in Step 2 that a High Power(whom I call God) CAN restore you to sanity.
I am going to list some do's and don'ts that have helped me tremendously in Letting Go and Letting God.
DO
Forgive
Be honest with yourself (looks as if you are succeeding at this!)
Be humble
Take it easy--tension is harmful
Play--find recreation and hobbies
Keep on trying whenever you fail
Learn the facts about alcoholism
Attend Al-Anon meetings often
PRAY
Don't
Be self-righteous
Try to dominate, nag, scold and complain
Lose your temper
Try to push anyone but yourself'
Keep bringing up the past
Keep checking up on your alcoholic (This so hard!)
Wallow in self-pity
Make threats you don't intend to carry out
Be over-protective
Be a doormat
As my wonderful Alanon sponsor told me, "Go home and be good to yourself. Just because he is sick, you don't have to be sick,too."
God bless you!
Just remember, you have to keep trying. I do not know if you go to meetings or not, but I strongly recommend that you do. Be sure that your group gives only suggestions and does NOT give advice. I pray that you believe as in Step 2 that a High Power(whom I call God) CAN restore you to sanity.
I am going to list some do's and don'ts that have helped me tremendously in Letting Go and Letting God.
DO
Forgive
Be honest with yourself (looks as if you are succeeding at this!)
Be humble
Take it easy--tension is harmful
Play--find recreation and hobbies
Keep on trying whenever you fail
Learn the facts about alcoholism
Attend Al-Anon meetings often
PRAY
Don't
Be self-righteous
Try to dominate, nag, scold and complain
Lose your temper
Try to push anyone but yourself'
Keep bringing up the past
Keep checking up on your alcoholic (This so hard!)
Wallow in self-pity
Make threats you don't intend to carry out
Be over-protective
Be a doormat
As my wonderful Alanon sponsor told me, "Go home and be good to yourself. Just because he is sick, you don't have to be sick,too."
God bless you!
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