think i have replaced one obsession with another....

Old 08-28-2005, 04:52 PM
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think i have replaced one obsession with another....

ok, so i been doing very well about the ex....proud to say that even though i had to see and speak to him a couple times,i have had no desire to do the drive bys,emails,call, etc......and on the rare occasion i do get a desire,it seems to go away!!! but i have noticed that i think i have replaced the obsession with.......shopping!!! dont think its really cause for concern,as i dont spend hundreds or anything like that,but for the past three weekends,i have said,ok--this it it...next weekend,nothing. ive been buying to make my place more comfy and cozy, or little personal things for myself.
dont even know why i felt the need to share this, guess i been feelin guilty today after i replaced a (new) bracelet i had lost, and a ring--that they both just really called out to me--grand total about 25 bucks.
so now next weekend is the three day holiday,and i really need to chill out----somebody needs to be chillin right here with me,holding me back!!!!!
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Old 08-28-2005, 10:11 PM
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Hi SBS!


We codies have addictive minds. We're addicted to the A's in our lives and just like any other addict, you get rid of one habit, you can pick up another one.

$25 isn't that much to be spending on yourself and every now and then, it's okay to go out and treat yourself to something new and pretty.

BUT, people can go to the extreme on that. Then, they end up with a totally new problem..........big time debt.

I'm self-employed and volunteer alot. During Sept-Feb each year, I work at a large non-profit. I'm doing okay financially. Have paid off my debts and have good credit. (thank God) But, I've seen it with some ladies I know. They get on Ebay and buy the stupidest things! Or, the home shopping channel. I think they buy just to win the bid and then their home is cluttered with a bunch of junk.

I'm a clothes horse (and shoes), but what I do is go to this really neat and clean, great brand new clothes........thrift store and get brand labels at ridiculously low prices. Then, I shop at different grocery stores each week because one is cheaper in the produce, one is cheaper in the meat.....etc. They're all within the same area, so it doesn't cost extra to drive to each one.

I only buy when things go on sale. Sometimes, I shop on Spiegel cause they have awesome clothes for cheap prices. Always having sales.

So, you can shop for yourself, but only get what you need, pay off your debts FIRST and shop cheaply.

Hope that helped some.
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Old 08-29-2005, 08:43 PM
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im pretty smart like that too. im not into the expensive designer stuff. my favorite places are kmart,roses,the dollar store and the thrift stores. i dont spend a whole lot on groceries---i have been working on getting my credit better from problems quite awhile back,and my score just went up again,so i am happy about that. using my cards very carefully. also just started a savings account, for the first time.
things are definately lookin up in all areas!!!
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:20 PM
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sunshine:

Sounds like you are being smart about your spending and like Dakoda said "I look at it as money spent for medical purposes...my mental health! LOL!~" If it is helping you (withour ruining you) then I say no worries.

I look at it this way..........sometimes when times are tough, we talk about our "comfort food"........well you are getting comfy things for your home so THAT is your comfort food. It's just knowing not to let it get out of hand.

Enjoy your new "comforts".......
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Old 08-30-2005, 04:36 AM
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My AS uses shopping as therapy to feel good. It makes no sense (cents) to me to buy unneeded or superfluous "things," but it provides a "high" to an alcoholic (recovering or dry). Until the shopping dings our finances or clutters our home, I detach from this compulsive behavior. But when the finances are affected or I start tripping on these things (shoes, gadgets, etc.), I announce that we will donate all loose objects to charity. We get a second feel good when we donate these items to charity. I find the shopping a lesser evil than active alcoholism.
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:56 AM
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I have found myself shopping more frequently lately. I went the past three years doing for my exabf (who is now clean and enjoying his money with a girl from NA) it is time I repay myself for the suffering I went through.

Definitely makes me feel good. I am actually in the process of buying a new truck. All I have sacrificed - new clothes, new couch, new place to live, vacations, things I would have never done had we still been together. Cause I was so frugle, never knew when you maybe down and out again.

Spend on - it is part of my personality. Accept me for me.
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