Living the "now" life...

Old 08-27-2005, 09:48 PM
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Living the "now" life...

I have a friend with a child who has a fatal disease. There is no cure, there is no chance that he will live to see adulthood. That is a medical certainty. There is no miracle based in science for his disease.

His mother lives the "now" life.

We talked today for a long time about how she did this.

She told me that she viewed the world as a "one day show". Today is IT folks. No remarketing, no advanced viewing, just today. Today you get to live today. That is it.

She wakes up each morning and her child is alive. That starts the day off well. She enjoys each moment that she has with him to the fullest degree possible. She seeps herself in him. She mentally photographs every moment of their time. And at the end of the day she says thanks that she has had him for another day.

THAT is one day a time living. THAT is living the NOW life. THAT is realizing that we are ALL not granted an automatic "wake up" the next morning. That is being human.

My friend told me today that if she ever thought beyond the next interaction she had with her child that she would go insane. The big picture is one without him in her life. She can not go there. She lives from one breath to the next.

I take that to the level of my life. And OF COURSE I live life beyond the next breath, I save money (Hurrah), I make plans, I get excited about future events. Yes, I also realize that I no longer COUNT on things being as I visualize them. I don't KNOW that my dreams are going to be as they are, and I don't expect them to be. I realize they my anticipated future could all change with one breath.

It is freeing in a way. Terrifying to stop thinking about it. Impossibly hard to "let go" of. Yet, that, in reality, is our lives. We live one breath to the next with NO guarantee of a tomorrow.

I have spent VASTS amounts of my time living with the "what ifs" and "should haves", that spending a day with my friend and her child humble me beyond words.

This instant...we are granted life for the breath that we have just taken...that is it.

It is mind blowing really. If you love someone this moment, tell them. If you don't...do something about it.

Oh my...very deep thoughts after a very emotional day.

Jenny
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Old 08-28-2005, 07:01 AM
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What an amazing post.

I like many, spend way too much time hoping for a better tomorrow. There was one day I called in sick to work and spoke with my boss shorty about how I just couldn't make it in. She knew without me even telling her why. I said to her that I'd be better tomorrow and she said something I'll never forget. "You'll be better today!". That really lifted me and at the time made me realize she was right. Seems too easy to really work but being happy or unhappy really is a decision we make every moment of our life. You can't live your life in tomorrow.

Thanks for your post. It is really something to cherish.
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Old 08-28-2005, 11:43 AM
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thanks for the post Jenny
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Old 08-28-2005, 01:49 PM
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Thank you for your very deep thoughts Jenny.
I think they will ground a lot of people in what is important...the here and now.
Not yesterday, not tomorrow, just today.
Bless your friend, she is living her life to the very best of her ability.
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Old 08-28-2005, 11:00 PM
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Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Jenny...
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:49 AM
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I am sorry your friend is experiencing this, but it sounds like she has the most wonderful attitude. Living in the present is so much better than all the what if's etc. What about this bill, what about my job, what about this that, etc? Enough to drive one mad. Been there, done too much of that myself. Reminds me to enjoy each day and live it to the fullest, you never know what tomorrow might bring.
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Old 08-29-2005, 03:50 PM
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When my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer just a few weeks ago, I did exactly what your friend did. I thanked God for each additional day I was able to spend with my him because I knew each day could be his last. And on his last day, I thanked God one more time, because although it was a very sad day, it was very special day, too.

That was such a beautiful post Jenny, and a beautiful reminder that none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow, so we should live each day to fullest, and cherish our loved ones every day.
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Old 08-30-2005, 04:31 PM
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what a wonderful attitude your friend has and im sure she feels grateful for a friend like you that she can talk to.all my children are healthy but i face medical problems everyday that can change in a moment and i am so thankful for the friends i have that just listen so let her know your always there that will mean more than anything
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Old 08-31-2005, 07:49 AM
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Thank you for that message.
It reminds me to cherish every moment with my beloved, mentally ill, alcoholic daughter. At the end of the day, all we have is love.

Thanks for the reminder of that.

Robin
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Old 08-31-2005, 09:31 AM
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Thanks for the post. What a great attitude your brave friend has. I really needed to read this now at this moment. Happiness is a choice and for this moment, I'm choosing not to let another person's drama affect me.

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