hi i'm shawn
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 5
hi i'm shawn
hi i'm shawn i'm 30 and dealing with an alcoholic mother... she drives me insane. she expects me to get her sober or at least help get her sober. i dont know what to really what to say but hi im here and i'll post more later!
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Home
Posts: 338
Welcome
if she expects you to get her sober, then when you "mess up" it's "your fault" she didn't stay sober. NOT TRUE, just that's what that way of thinking can lead to. Welcome Shawn, and you have come to a good place.
There are things that can help SUPPORT recovery that's for sure, one of which is learning about it and how it affects the alcoholic AS WELL AS how it affects the loved ones of the alcoholic. Also there are even extra books and groups for "adult children of alcoholics" What you describe above sounds very much like an awful heavy responsibility to be placed on a child by their parent. Even though you are 30 (now). This does not mean your mom is a bad person either - don't want to sound that way. But YOU are responsible for YOU and SHE is responsible for HER. Support for another person=good. Responsibility for another person=sink self. Have you ever read any alanon pamphlets? There are some really good ones. My favorites are "alcoholism the family disease" and "a merry go round called denial" but there are so many good ones and they are all free whichever ones you want to pick out if you go to an alanon meeting. If you never have been it's a good place to go and learn AND get support, have a "safe" place and be surrounded by people that are the loved ones of an alcoholic whether the alcoholic is still around physically or not.
There are things that can help SUPPORT recovery that's for sure, one of which is learning about it and how it affects the alcoholic AS WELL AS how it affects the loved ones of the alcoholic. Also there are even extra books and groups for "adult children of alcoholics" What you describe above sounds very much like an awful heavy responsibility to be placed on a child by their parent. Even though you are 30 (now). This does not mean your mom is a bad person either - don't want to sound that way. But YOU are responsible for YOU and SHE is responsible for HER. Support for another person=good. Responsibility for another person=sink self. Have you ever read any alanon pamphlets? There are some really good ones. My favorites are "alcoholism the family disease" and "a merry go round called denial" but there are so many good ones and they are all free whichever ones you want to pick out if you go to an alanon meeting. If you never have been it's a good place to go and learn AND get support, have a "safe" place and be surrounded by people that are the loved ones of an alcoholic whether the alcoholic is still around physically or not.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 5
well basically its she calls me expects me to help her stop from taking a drink then when i get her any advice she bites my head off and then yells at me its a horrible experience. i have dealt with it since i was at least 16 that is when i can remember back to about it. yes i've been told this is a great place! she has me so stressed out i just dont know what to do anymore! she guilts me and i hate it! no i have never read any alanon pamphlets but i have been to one meeting. i'll have to looking into that reading material. thank you for your thoughts mendingheart and cloudy
I'm new here too
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 5
yes there are a few. i went to one last saturday but i think i might go again tonight. i'm also in AA too so i basically go to a meeting for that every other night i would say. but yest there are a few meetings in my area.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
Hi Shawn,
Welcome. You can't make anyone get sober. We can offer support, but ultimately it is up to the addicted person to maintain sobriety. It sounds like your mother is trying to place blame on others. Keep coming back. Have you tried Alanon?
Welcome. You can't make anyone get sober. We can offer support, but ultimately it is up to the addicted person to maintain sobriety. It sounds like your mother is trying to place blame on others. Keep coming back. Have you tried Alanon?
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