brdlvr2

Hi all,

I'm back. Two weeks ago I posted about how I was at THAT point with xabf. And I was. He spent 5 days in the hospital and doc told him if he drinks he won't see another year. Heart problems, diabetes/blood sugar problems etc. All drinking related. I thought wow maybe this will get him to change. He didn't drink for 2 weeks, but of course that didn't last. He hit the vodka, passed out on the side of the road and ended up back in the hospital. I was beyond disgusted, and he turned around and drank yet again and once again back in the hospital.

I am and have been so full of anger, resentment, disgust towards this man. I should never have given him yet another chance after he got out of the hospital. I knew he''ll never change and I don't love him anymore and truthfully, can't even be civil towards him anymore as I don't respect him one bit. Too much issues.

Here's my dilemma:

I bought 2 concert tix a few weeks back. The show is tonight. When he was "being good" I said I take him (but even then didn't want to). Now the night is here and he's the last person I want to take. Of course, I'll have to drive, pay for the meal on the way there and anything else we spend. He "promised to pay me back" on Friday - yeah right.

He's off work today, health still bad and so what does he do? Takes his bicycle on the bike trail, meets up with some guy who was sitting on a bench and he calls me at work and tries to put me on the phone with with man who's preaching to him from the bible? WTF? (sorry). I'm sure this man has his own issues (no doubt drugs/booze and homelessness) and right now I'm so mad I can't see straight. He's like why am I so mad?

I don't want to take him tonight, I don't like his company anymore, I will be full of resentment of having to once again pay for everything. So should I take my sister or mom instead even though I told him at first he could go?

minnie

I say go with who you want to go. It would simply be a consequence of his actions, imho.

cwohio

enjoy in the company of someone you like!

CatsTail

I say go with someone you enjoy and let him experience the natural consequences of his actions.

Ngaire

brdlvr2

Thanks you guys. I am taking my mom. He won't stop calling me at work. He said he's laying on the park bench. Said he "doesn't feel good" and loves me so much, why am I doing this to him... I'm about ready to lose it here at work, tears, headache and all. This is what I get for once again believing the lies that alcoholics give. Perhaps this is a man who will never hit bottom as they say. I have only myself to blame due to giving him yet another chance. This is the pits.

FriendofBill

Your feelings are coming thru loud and clear, to me at least, about how you feel about him Im wondering why youre even considering taking him?

You have instincts, follw them.

Let go, Let god.

brdlvr2

FOB - Yes, you are right. You once posted (to me I think) something very good about how we enable or keep in contact with the A because it makes us feel good or not feel bad. That may be it. I would feel guilty if I didn't take him after I said I would. I know he will be depressed and use me as an excuse to drink - then to hospital. I guess maybe at the time he was on the wagon, I was hoping to try and force myself into having nice feelings for him, but too much has happended and they just aren't there. I'm finding it very hard to separate the man from the disease when he is doing everything wrong regarding his health and then play the "poor me" card.