devastated

Hi Everyone:

I don't know where to begin! Disaster has struck tonite! My husband and I went away for the day. We came home at 5:30 and all hell hit the fan. The girlfriend called and said she wasn't going home. I told her to come by here. She did! He was going crazy! He came to my house looking for her. She hid. My husband told him never to come by here again. He didn't say anything till he got to his truck then he started to mouth off. My husband said he'll never be welcome here again. He said I need money to get to Dad's house. My husband had a fit and said no don't give him any money. I wanted him gone he said he was going to his dad's house and didn't have money for gas. I wanted him out of here so I gave him everything I had which was 24.00. My husband was furious with me! I didn't care, I wanted him out of here. Well, he called me later and said he was on his way but he said I've been drinking and probably won't make it (4 hours away) I said, well, pull over and sleep he said no I'll just go over a cliff. I hung up. He called me back and said, by the way, I trashed her house. When we were sure he had been long gone, we went to her house and oh my God, he did! He spray painted obsenities all over broke her antique glass wrecked her garage door just totally ruined her home! She kept saying let's get out of here he might come back, and I said he wouldn't dare come back here. Well, guess what we had been back at my house for half hour and he called and asked if I had been there. I said yes, I came to make sure the dog was ok. He had left the door wide open and everything. He sprayed her bedding with paint her clothes, etc., I told him tomorrow we'd make a police report saying he did this and he said he didn't do it some gang did it. Then he said go ahead it's only vandalism. I am going to make a report. I told him never to call me again! I hate him for what he did to her home and her baby's home. I hate him!!! He threatened he said if she makes a report he'll come back and kill her! He is sick! I hate him! I hate him! Devastated

Morning Glory

Devastated,

I am so so sorry. I really really think it's time for a restraining order for all of you. He is dangerous now. I don't know if his girlfriend can relocate, but I would at least get her in a shelter for now. He sounds like he is capable of killing right now. I know that this must be terrible for all of you. Please follow through with a police report and get the restraining order immediately.

Have her press charges and have him arrested. I know it's your son and I know this is awful, but it might be the thing that saves his life right now too.

Please take care of yourself and try to get some counseling while you go through this. This is a lot for you to work through. Make the police report now. Don't wait until tomorrow.

My prayers are with you all.

Hugs,
MG

Mara

All week long I have be saying woe is me and then I read your post. I am so sorry. You should be devasted. You have been through so much. I have come to realize that part of being a parent is to make our kids face up to that fact that they should be responsible adult. And we can not wipe their butts for the rest of their lives. We can not take the easy way. I have done what you did to keep the peace. But in the long run there still is no peace. We as parent have to face what we have to work with and do the best we can. We can not cover every base and we can not dot all the i(s) and T(s). We are only one person and we can not do it all. And many times those around us have a clearer picture then we do. Just because we love them doesn't mean that we always have the right answers. And we have to trust those we love to help us handle matters. My heart goes out to you. Don't weaken in your resolve to do what you know you have to do.
Mara

Josie

Devastated,
I really hope you make this report!!!!
My oldest son is dangerous when he is
using and drinking towards his wife. She
has fled numerous times over the last
3 years. After much rescuing him and
my grandchildren-I decided to contact the probation dept., this is enough. What are we waiting around for, a murder???? And
then what-how are you and I going to
feel about that-when we did nothing?
You know where my son is going if he
doesn't comply with the court require-
ments-5 years back in state
prison-so be it. I love my son and we
have a good relationship-but this crap
with his wife, and the kids right in the
middle of it-is totally unacceptable.
This is the one thing that has haunted
me for a very long time. This is the
one thing I could not let go of. And
I finally realized something can be done-
the authorities.
And not only are you protecting yourself,
his girlfriend and child, you are saving
him.
My prayers are with you.

Hugs,

Paulie

Dear D -

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I too hope you file this report. I am an A blessed to be in recovery and I can tell you first hand that there has to be consequences for actions. I did not even consider getting help or even that I had a problem until my family and friends started making sure there was consequesnces for my actions. I am not saying that we make him get clean, I am just saying that is how it works. It is a process and that is part of the process.

Also, you need to make the report to take care of YOU. I cannot imagine how you feel I wish I could hug you right now.

Please protect yourself and your family and file a report and get a restraining order.

God Bless!!

spindell

Thoughts and prayers are with u, i hope all gets better for u,


loads of love and huge hugs , spin

sugar52

devastated, i'm so sorry for what ur going thru. i'll pray for ur family and strength 4 u?? no one needs to live like that! call the authorities in, before there is more damage done. i fear for u all in these circumstances. a home needs to be a safe haven. ur anger will pass, but the damage has been done already to u all. this is something that u can do. protect ur grandchild.
big hugs to u dear. better days are coming. hp work at ur house.
hugs from sugar