Help for my Sister?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 3
Help for my Sister?
Hello, I am writing to ask for your advice.
My 41yr old sister has a drinking problem. How do I help her?
She doesn't think she has a problem and makes an excuse every time she drinks. She is single and uses that as an excuse all the time. I tell her to join a gym instead of going to the bars. i offer to go to AA with her, I talk to her all the time but nothing gets through to her. Every offer or suggestion I make is not good enough. I'm afraid for her health and her well being.
Thanks for your advice...Jag
My 41yr old sister has a drinking problem. How do I help her?
She doesn't think she has a problem and makes an excuse every time she drinks. She is single and uses that as an excuse all the time. I tell her to join a gym instead of going to the bars. i offer to go to AA with her, I talk to her all the time but nothing gets through to her. Every offer or suggestion I make is not good enough. I'm afraid for her health and her well being.
Thanks for your advice...Jag
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate, ny
Posts: 135
dear jag,
the best thing u could do 4 ur sister is read up about the illness. alanon has wonderful info 4 the family about what's going on with ur family.perhaps mg or jt will come along and refer u to posts that contain newcomer info for the families of people whose family members have a drinking or drug problem. try to develop an awareness to begin. we're all here 4 u and there is a lot of wisdom and guidance 4 all to be found on this forum. post ur questions and i'm sure all will try to help comfort and guide u.
hugs from sugar
the best thing u could do 4 ur sister is read up about the illness. alanon has wonderful info 4 the family about what's going on with ur family.perhaps mg or jt will come along and refer u to posts that contain newcomer info for the families of people whose family members have a drinking or drug problem. try to develop an awareness to begin. we're all here 4 u and there is a lot of wisdom and guidance 4 all to be found on this forum. post ur questions and i'm sure all will try to help comfort and guide u.
hugs from sugar
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 3
Thanks Sugar
I'm waiting to hear some more advice. My sister is telling me I'm pushing her away. Should I not be mentioning her drinking problem to her? Please, what advice do you have for me??
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Jag
She knows she drinks and she knows if she has a problem. mentioning it to her only antagonizes her more.
Only she can decide about her recovery, but you can work on your own. Maybe when she see's your example she will follow.
I would let her know that I was concerned (once) and that I would be available to talk to about it anytime. And then....let it go. Back away....Hands off the addict.
Working your own recovery can help you heal and learn ways to keep your own life happy and fullfilling regardless of how she is.
My prayers are with you.
She knows she drinks and she knows if she has a problem. mentioning it to her only antagonizes her more.
Only she can decide about her recovery, but you can work on your own. Maybe when she see's your example she will follow.
I would let her know that I was concerned (once) and that I would be available to talk to about it anytime. And then....let it go. Back away....Hands off the addict.
Working your own recovery can help you heal and learn ways to keep your own life happy and fullfilling regardless of how she is.
My prayers are with you.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi Jag,
Welcome to the forum.
I have a son who is an alcoholic. I just spent the last 10 years trying to help him. He is worse now than when we started. We have all tried our hardest to help our loved ones. It just doesn't work.
Please make sure you read addictive personality at the top of the naranon board. It helped me a lot when I first came here. I agree with Sugar's and Ann's advice. I wish for all of us that it could be different.
Hugs,
MG
Welcome to the forum.
I have a son who is an alcoholic. I just spent the last 10 years trying to help him. He is worse now than when we started. We have all tried our hardest to help our loved ones. It just doesn't work.
Please make sure you read addictive personality at the top of the naranon board. It helped me a lot when I first came here. I agree with Sugar's and Ann's advice. I wish for all of us that it could be different.
Hugs,
MG
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Jag,
When I first started concentrating on my OWN recovery, everything felt backward and wrong. I thought it was my responsiblity to look after and care for the people I loved! It took a lot of meetings, readings and gentle reminders to understand the difference between loving, helping and enabling.
Keep coming back, reading and posting. You'll come to learn that we all love the A;s in our lives VERY much, but we have come to see that they have to walk their own path and experience their own consequences.
HUGS
Osier59
When I first started concentrating on my OWN recovery, everything felt backward and wrong. I thought it was my responsiblity to look after and care for the people I loved! It took a lot of meetings, readings and gentle reminders to understand the difference between loving, helping and enabling.
Keep coming back, reading and posting. You'll come to learn that we all love the A;s in our lives VERY much, but we have come to see that they have to walk their own path and experience their own consequences.
HUGS
Osier59
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Welcome Jag,
osier said it so well!! We love them, but they have to walk their own path and experience their own consequences!I am always so worried about my husbands health because of his drinking. He has just lost a second sister to diabetes. His oldest sister died 4yrs. ago at 64 and now his other sister just died and she was not 60 yet. He has two other sisters with the disease as well and I tell him that drinking turns to sugar in the blood and he should be very careful so he does not get diabetes too. He is 46 so he has a good chance of stopping it from happening if he changes his bad habits now. Does he listen? No, of course not.When I try to give him advice he alot of the time says," you are not my mother." I am only telling him this because I care.
All we can do is PRAY for them and take care of ourselves. We have the power to take care of our own lives. Keep coming back for this is a great place with alot of super good people that all have great advice. I don't always have the time to post, but even if I just read alittle it helps me to gain strength in my life.
Take care,
matters
osier said it so well!! We love them, but they have to walk their own path and experience their own consequences!I am always so worried about my husbands health because of his drinking. He has just lost a second sister to diabetes. His oldest sister died 4yrs. ago at 64 and now his other sister just died and she was not 60 yet. He has two other sisters with the disease as well and I tell him that drinking turns to sugar in the blood and he should be very careful so he does not get diabetes too. He is 46 so he has a good chance of stopping it from happening if he changes his bad habits now. Does he listen? No, of course not.When I try to give him advice he alot of the time says," you are not my mother." I am only telling him this because I care.
All we can do is PRAY for them and take care of ourselves. We have the power to take care of our own lives. Keep coming back for this is a great place with alot of super good people that all have great advice. I don't always have the time to post, but even if I just read alittle it helps me to gain strength in my life.
Take care,
matters
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