He is freaking out!
 

Xabf is getting ready to go to the year long program on a great alcohol recovery treatment facility located on a farm. I've been there and have seen it, know the people that work there....great people. I work for the same large organization that runs the place (Only I'm located 80 miles away in the main office).

I've talked with him a few times. Didn't get my landline changed because....I didn't. :(

He calls crying and saying how he's scared, then the next minute blames me for coming into his life a year ago to try and show him how I got sober. He tells me if I would of just let him alone, he wouldn't be going through this right now.

Then, he tells me that he loves me and is gonna miss me. He's been drunk since he got kicked out of the 30 day rehab a little while ago for drinking there. He's an emotional wreck and leaves in 4 days. His stuff is moved out of his apartment.....he "quit" his job of 24 years, is saying good bye to his family. I realize this is alot for him, BUT.......he brought this on himself.

I'm not sorry that I showed him how God helped me become sober 11 years ago. I believe that He wanted me to do that. Because if xabf continued to drink a 750 of vodka every day like he had been doing for 10 years.....he may not of made it passed this year.

I do realize that when I became involved with him, that's where I made my mistake.

That's in the past now and I've accepted that. I know that I'm not to take his blaming on me now.....personally. I just pray that he goes to this farm because if he doesn't, he'll go to jail for 9 months or more and probably come out worse then he is now.

This could be a major blessing for him to get his life straightened out. But, he's fighting it every step of the way.

I'm taking care of myself by not getting upset and not staying on the phone with him. And, my feelings for him are not the same. I love him as a person....but, that's it.

I just hope that for his sake, he makes this descision to go and choose to be sober. It's out of my hands.

girlfriend - in the end it is up to them. you still sound like you have your recovery "groove" going! good deal for you - hope he "gets" it for his sake just like i hope my AH finally gets it someday.

hugs - christie

.. praying for him...

Thank you both!!

My counselor today said "What are you doing taking his calls? That's just setting yourself up again for a fall".

Which, she's right and........ wrong. And, I told her so about how I felt. She's right because by me picking up the phone, even once, to listen to him boo-hoo and get so dramatic, is giving him the "go ahead" sign that he can still talk to me.

But, wrong, in that I've learned that he's just full of bull and is throwing temper tantrums trying to get attention again. He's run out of people to do that with. His Dad is the only one in the family left that will talk to him after the getting kicked out of rehab.And, then there's been me. But, my feelings for him have changed, I don't believe a word he says, I don't fall for the "O, woe is me" crap because he got there himself. I don't believe him when he blames me....I don't choose to own that anymore. I don't call him and don't plan on it.

My counselor also said "I wouldn't be surprised if he tried the suicide attempt thing again". Honestly, me neither. He's just screaming out for some one to "save" him only HE doesn't have any one to do that anymore with. It's this or jail. He can't just "walk this one off" and pass it by like in the past.

What I am kind of afraid of is him coming to my house drunk and starting something. I'd immediatly call 911 and not go outside at all.

I just can't wait until Monday comes!:waiting

((girlfriend)) i hope it doesn't come to that - hope you are able to have a peaceful weekend.

Jail or a farm? He has a great opportunity here! I hope he can get over this intial shock and embrace this chance for a new life! It sounds like you could use a fresh start too!! Kerry

He is REALLY losing it!!

He leaves Monday (please Lord!!) for a year.He's been calling and leaves sobbing messages on the answering machine every day.

"I'm so scared! I'm gonna miss you, I love you!" and sometimes he just leaves messages where he's just crying really hard in the background.

I'm not calling him. I really don't want to talk to him or say "good-bye" because it would be a dramatic thing and yeah, honestly.....a little hard for me to say.

I can listen to his messages and not get all upset. I think he wants me to be, but I'm not. I'm sure he IS scared, but this is his shot at a 2nd chance in his life to turn it all around and how many people get that? He's not looking at it in that way, I'm sure, but it is better than jail!!

I just keep praying that he goes through with this. Once he gets there....he won't be able to talk to or see family for about 2 weeks and then won't be able to use a phone (won't get his cell phone.....YAY!!!) until he "phases" up to phase 3 which takes atleast 6 months.

It's an awesome program. Beautiful place out in the country with horses and pigs and cattle. Farming to do. They teach them skills on the internet. Once he gets out, they'll help him get a car, help him pay his rent wherever he moves to and helps him find a job. What more could ya ask for? PLUS, a new sober for a year....life.

Please keep him in your prayers! For his sake.