I am deciding how I am going to BE this next school year...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
I am deciding how I am going to BE this next school year...
I start work full time iteaching in a few weeks. Both of the children will be in school full time. My husband works on the weekends, 2 evening shifts during the week. 1 day shift and 2 days off a week.
I have decided that I can rely on him to get the kids to school on the 4 mornings that he is home. Whew...I know he will do it.
I have also decided that I am going to arrange after school childcare for the 2 days a week that he has off.
I can not trust that he will stay sober ALL day on this days off while the kids are not around to distract him.
He has done an amazing job this summer and I am very proud of him. Yet, with the kids not being around and with the long cold days of winter...I can not risk that he will show up at the school with a buzz at 3:00PM.
I also did our monthly budget and with my full time salary I can afford to pay all of our bills without his income. OF course I did NOT tell him that. So, I can stop the weekly panic attacks that he will not deposit his paycheck. I am going to assume that he will...as he has been all summer, but I am not going to fear bankrupcy any longer.
So, with those 2 things (that I can sort of control) in my mind. I am going to let go of all the rest.
I know that I have my home and I will keep my home.
I know that my children will be safe.
I know that I am doing everything that I can do.
I will not wonder what he is doing on his days off.
I will not stress about the money. I am so proud of myself for being so organized.
I will not nag him or question him or even ask him what his intentions are.
I will not trust him to do anything.
I will live my life this upcoming school year in a way that I feel powerful and smart and in control of myself.
As you all witnessed, I nearly lost my mind last year. I won't let that happen again.
If he gets another DUI or burns the house down or gambles his paycheck away or loses his job...."I" will be fine. My children will be fine.
That being said....I am OK with the worst case scenerio. I will be thrilled beyond words if he consistantly deposits the money, if he keeps his job, if he is sober when I get home from work on his days off.
And if he cleans the house, I will be over the top with joy.
As a side note... I love my husband dearly and adore almost everything about him. In a dream world, I would have everything about him only with a diet coke in his hand at all times. Of course I can't make that happen, so this is the next best.
So...that is my plan about how I will be.
I think it is a good one.
Jenny
I have decided that I can rely on him to get the kids to school on the 4 mornings that he is home. Whew...I know he will do it.
I have also decided that I am going to arrange after school childcare for the 2 days a week that he has off.
I can not trust that he will stay sober ALL day on this days off while the kids are not around to distract him.
He has done an amazing job this summer and I am very proud of him. Yet, with the kids not being around and with the long cold days of winter...I can not risk that he will show up at the school with a buzz at 3:00PM.
I also did our monthly budget and with my full time salary I can afford to pay all of our bills without his income. OF course I did NOT tell him that. So, I can stop the weekly panic attacks that he will not deposit his paycheck. I am going to assume that he will...as he has been all summer, but I am not going to fear bankrupcy any longer.
So, with those 2 things (that I can sort of control) in my mind. I am going to let go of all the rest.
I know that I have my home and I will keep my home.
I know that my children will be safe.
I know that I am doing everything that I can do.
I will not wonder what he is doing on his days off.
I will not stress about the money. I am so proud of myself for being so organized.
I will not nag him or question him or even ask him what his intentions are.
I will not trust him to do anything.
I will live my life this upcoming school year in a way that I feel powerful and smart and in control of myself.
As you all witnessed, I nearly lost my mind last year. I won't let that happen again.
If he gets another DUI or burns the house down or gambles his paycheck away or loses his job...."I" will be fine. My children will be fine.
That being said....I am OK with the worst case scenerio. I will be thrilled beyond words if he consistantly deposits the money, if he keeps his job, if he is sober when I get home from work on his days off.
And if he cleans the house, I will be over the top with joy.
As a side note... I love my husband dearly and adore almost everything about him. In a dream world, I would have everything about him only with a diet coke in his hand at all times. Of course I can't make that happen, so this is the next best.
So...that is my plan about how I will be.
I think it is a good one.
Jenny
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Jenny, you are such an inspiration. Yes, I was there when you had your meltdown and I can see so much growth in your posts.
That is a fantastic plan. My thoughts are with you, as always.
Love
Minnie
xxx
That is a fantastic plan. My thoughts are with you, as always.
Love
Minnie
xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: over the rainbow
Posts: 487
way to go jennyk- i think i am in step right behind you! i realized since i have been handling the finances all along- heck i am used to the stress of worrying about paying the bills- so there won't be anything new there! now about him cleaning the house- you mean he would come over to your house and clean it?!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: US
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by escape artist
now about him cleaning the house- you mean he would come over to your house and clean it?!!
Jenny
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
