Making progress
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Making progress
Well a little of the good feelings for AA I used to have are coming back. Last Sat a man my husband sponsors got married for the first time ay age 50 something. My husband was the best man. The only way I would agree we could go was if he was sure other woman was not coming. He requested this of the groom. She and I in a small house would have made for an extremely tense
situation.
Then this week they had asn AA party for the couple. The new wife is not in the program. I agree to go if we went late so if ow's mini van was there, we would just not go in. Also he agreed to leave in seconds if she came in. She never showed. I had a nice time was but well aware I was'not one of them.' AA is cliquish beyond belief. The good friend of other woman was there. I made sure she knew all the good stuff going on in our life.
dax
situation.
Then this week they had asn AA party for the couple. The new wife is not in the program. I agree to go if we went late so if ow's mini van was there, we would just not go in. Also he agreed to leave in seconds if she came in. She never showed. I had a nice time was but well aware I was'not one of them.' AA is cliquish beyond belief. The good friend of other woman was there. I made sure she knew all the good stuff going on in our life.
dax
Ugh!
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Enchanted Elmoland
Posts: 180
Dax,
I'm happy for you that you had an enjoyable time. Have you ever gone to any "open" AA meetings? I've gone to quite a few AA meetings and have never had a problem with the click thing, maybe it's the area you are in. I guess for me I kind of felt that way in recovery until I got to know some of the people (I tend to feel like an outcast anywhere I go though). Honestly even after coming here for almost a year, I still feel like I don't know anyone like the others that post on here do. Again I'm sure my insecurities and lack of self-esteem, pretty sure that's a codie thing...
It has to be hard to feel like you have to look over your back to make sure the OW is not around, but at least you are moving forward and should be very proud of yourself!
HUGS
FaithChaser
I'm happy for you that you had an enjoyable time. Have you ever gone to any "open" AA meetings? I've gone to quite a few AA meetings and have never had a problem with the click thing, maybe it's the area you are in. I guess for me I kind of felt that way in recovery until I got to know some of the people (I tend to feel like an outcast anywhere I go though). Honestly even after coming here for almost a year, I still feel like I don't know anyone like the others that post on here do. Again I'm sure my insecurities and lack of self-esteem, pretty sure that's a codie thing...
It has to be hard to feel like you have to look over your back to make sure the OW is not around, but at least you are moving forward and should be very proud of yourself!
HUGS
FaithChaser
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Yes -I have gone to hundreds of open AA meetings- mostly Chapter 9. You see the cliquish thing more at parties- most the talk is about alcohol and they will just close you out of their little group if they can. Doesn't work with me- I am outgoing. Since I can take drinking or leave it- I do like that the food at the parties is usually good.
dax
dax
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Geez, Dax. Sounds really uncomfortable. I am sorry you didnt feel welcome. I commend you for trying though, for your husband. Food is a wonderful thing...so good for you for finding something you liked in the situation!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
dax!
It sounds like you took a risk in going to those places, and I commend you for it! Seeing others take risks like that teaches me that it's ok for me to do the same, even when I might be uncomfortable. Thank you for the lesson in courage!
Someone told me once that "nobody ever died from uncomfortable", but it sure feels like it sometimes...
Also---great boundary setting and compromise skills! Everybody got their needs met, and nobody got hurt in the process.
It sounds like you took a risk in going to those places, and I commend you for it! Seeing others take risks like that teaches me that it's ok for me to do the same, even when I might be uncomfortable. Thank you for the lesson in courage!
Someone told me once that "nobody ever died from uncomfortable", but it sure feels like it sometimes...
Also---great boundary setting and compromise skills! Everybody got their needs met, and nobody got hurt in the process.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Now talk about courage.... You have my respect for finding a way to compromise and to find a way to be comfortable.
Great boundries, I always wonder when the day will come that I meet the OW at a AA meeting or a function. Not looking forward to that but I will be damed if she will keep me from the place I find peace.
Great boundries, I always wonder when the day will come that I meet the OW at a AA meeting or a function. Not looking forward to that but I will be damed if she will keep me from the place I find peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 346
Huge courage, Dax! I commend your strength! Also I would agree that going to an "AA" party is very different than going to a "regular" party-- not because of drinking either.
I don't get that. A party's a party and it's about engaging in your community. Whether they serve booze or a stripper, is there a difference? Apparently so.
Where do overeaters go for a party?
I don't get that. A party's a party and it's about engaging in your community. Whether they serve booze or a stripper, is there a difference? Apparently so.
Where do overeaters go for a party?
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