What a difference a week makes
 

Last weekend I posted regarding my fear that my ABF (sober for 7 months) was starting a new relationship with a 'friend' from AA.

While I knew I was on the verge of obsessing about it, I realized that I needed to take a step back, pray on how to handle the situation, and let it go...It took alot of control on my part, but I got thru the week.

Man... it was a huge struggle but I got thru it and this weekend has been great!. We talked on Friday night and made plans for Sat to go to a Aviation Museum in the area and have dinner. Sat Am after attending his Men's only meeting he called to tell me that the open meeting last night was having a guest speaker ( a former sports celebrity from the area) that he would like to hear.

(He had mentioned early in his recovery about us going to the open Sat night meetings but when it came time to go, he always changed his mind).

So I told him, I would love to go with him if he wanted me to and he was comfortable with it. I had decided that if he started to back down again on it, I would tell him that I would go home, so he could go alone since it was apparent to me that he wanted to attend (my opinion, if he wasn't interested he wouldn't have mentioned it).

But we went and I got to meet his sponsor for the first time which was really nice. His sponsor said to me, "It's nice to finally meet you, He's said alot of nice things about you" and I'm thinking to myself "It would be nice if he said those things to me as welll".. but oh well.... at least I know I'm not some deep dark secret he keeps...lol
I also got to meet some of the guys that he has mentioned. The speaker was interesting. And I am glad that he is opening up a little part of his life that I feel like he has kept me out of. I think that was a big step for him.

The interesting thing is I was not introduced to any females.. In fact, I'm not sure he even acknowledged knowing any of them very well. So either the 'friend' was not there, or she knew to stand back....There I go with my imagination again.. please forgive me! lol...

Anyway, this has shown me that I can worry over something I have no control over, or I can pray for guidance to do the right thing, (which I feel I did).
It was not easy but it really works if you try!

((((saint))))

I am so glad for you. I know you were really worried...

I am glad that it sounds like you had a much better week! Hope it continues. Thanks for the kindly reminder how much easier life is to let go and let God........why do I think He needs my "help"? ha I guess us humans are like that! :)

Boy is it ever so easy to forgot sometimes.... This was a real re-enforcement for me....I was praying for signs to know what the right thing was and did he ever come thru.....

It's interesting to reflect on how I would have acted in the past. First what my reaction would have been when he told me he went to the aquarium with the 'friend'... Pre: I would have screamed, yelled, cried, acted a like a B&&CH all thru the family dinner, making snide remarks. POST: Take a deep breath, Smiled, put on a great front, had a nice evening (still stewing inside, hey I not perfect yet...lol), enjoyed the company.
During the week: PRE: make snide remarks on the phone, start an argument, confrontation, scream some more. POST: Sat back, waited for him to call, see if he wanted to make plans, take a deep breath and pray.

I think it has something to do with the deep breath!

I like the POST much better!!!!

well-done! that IS progress....I know; I fight those Pre/post arguments inside myself lots of days.......post IS so much better.......all the way around!

ps the deep breaths never hurt,either! haha