JessicaNAJ

I feel so alone.

My house was broken into Wednesday when I was at work (12:30 in the afternoon). The two 20-year-olds were caught when they were still in my house (hiding under the basement steps under all my Christmas decorations), so they didn't get away with anything. One is still in jail, one is out on bond. Everyone is trying to justify what happened...It was one of the spook things, they won't come back, blah blah blah. Everything I would say to someone in my situation is being said to me. The chances of them coming back are slim, I know that. But the safety and security of my home is gone. You're supposed to feel safe in your house and I DON'T. Damn them for doing this to me. Everything happens for a reason, what is this reason? I don't understand. Why the h*ll would they pick my house? I'm a single mom with two little kids? I don't do anything to anyone.

And my poor son was terrified. He was across the street with my neighbor, who was watching him. He came outside to call me and saw all the police surrounding my house. He was so scared. I answered the phone and all I could say was, I'm on my way. It'll be okay.

He was worried that they had taken all of our stuff, I told him that was why I pay for insurance. All that can be replaced. He's safe, I'm safe and his sister is safe and that is all that matters. His room is in the basement, which is where they broke in. I'll never get him to sleep in his own room now....and we were making progress with that. Guess my next house will have to have two floors with his room on the second.

I'm trying to stay strong for my kids. I don't want them to know I'm worried or scared. It is my job to help them feel safe and I'm doing the best I can.

I can't sleep. Every little sounds gets me jumping out of bed.

I want someone to hold me, help me feel safe.

I feel so alone.

CarolD

dear....How awfyl for you! Of course you are jumpy and upset. Can you snuggle up with a kid? Or a pet?

The reason for the timing of the break in was that the house was empty.
Think of that fact as you are trying to be calm.

Do you think installing a security system is possible?
Perhaps you could investigate.

What a shame! My heart goes out to you in this bad situation. Prayers zinging your way.

walkingtheline

I agree! Even Home Depot, Lowes, etc sell them. Something simple for your son might be bells...put a string with a bell on every window so he'd know if anyone rattles a window you'd all hear it. Another simple thing you can do is install some motion detector lights outside. They're very inexpensive, available at almost everywhere--even Walmart.

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm not sure there's a lesson here except of course that some people steal.

(((JessicaNAJ)))

equus

I'd go with the security system idea! Maybe you could involve the kids in the whole 'don't just be scared, let's do something about it' attitude?

Also remember some of those things being said to you are true - which is why you would have said them too.

I had someone try to break in to my old house, they didn't get further than the yard because the dogs were loose in the house and they both guard. But it shook me up that someone had even tried, they had done the hard part and if they had the bottle they could have hurt or killed the dogs. In repsonse I completely closed off my back entrance with wire and bike locks - it did help to have done something and eventually I stopped feeling so bad leaving the dogs alone in the house. The feelings did wear off.

I realise it's different when someone has been inside, all I can say is it scared me even having someone try!

cwohio

((jess)) tha's got to be soo scary! what was posted above are excelllent ideas. don't add to your stress - put something in place to make u feel safer!

ps - sorry i couldn't talk this morning.

hugs - chris

Savana 54

I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, Jessica.

Thoughts and prayers being sent to you and your babies!

((((((((hugs))))))))

splendra

Have you considered getting a dog? That might help your son to feel more secure if he knew a dog would most likely bark and scare off an intruder... The pound has lots of dogs who would love a nice family to protect and love...

I am sorry this happened to you I seriously doubt it was anything you did that caused this to happen...evil looks to destory what is good....

FormerDoormat

Oh Jess, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I, too, would be jumpy. I think a security system is a good idea. If you're a fan of dogs, I'd recommend getting a large dog. Burglars choose homes that are easy and safe targets: nobody home during the day, neighbors at work, no pets.

I have four large dogs, and I'm fairly confident that anyone casing my home would quickly choose another, safer target.

JessicaNAJ

I thought of an alarm, but I have two cats that would trigger it, and I can't afford to pay $100 for each alarm drop.

The dog idea is a good one, but my son is severly allergic to dogs. It causes his asthma to act up. Ironically, I have a small dog, who does bark at any odd noise - for some reason, my son is okay with him (as far as the asthma goes) but if we go to someone's house who has big dogs, his asthma really kicks in.

I bought a steel door for the basement (it's too big so I have to take it back). I also bought new dead bolts that key lock on both sides (kinda makes me nervous if there's a fire though...i will have to hang the key close by). I thought about getting sensors to put on the door. So if the doors are opened it will make a loud noise and alert the neighbors. And I was thinking about getting stickers (ADT security) to put on the windows.

I must be doing something right cause the kids are doing better than me.

Thank you guys for being here. Hopefully I will get past this soon.

Chris...that's okay. I completely understand.

nocellphone

I'm sorry for the violation you and your family suffered. I'm glad it wasn't worse in any way, and that you guys are ok...

This too shall pass, Jessica...

minnie

(((Jess)))
You have been given some great advice. Please know that I am thinking of you and the kids.

equus

Jess,

I don't know if this info is any use but I seem to remember poodles don't trigger asthma - and they come in a very large variety!! Skip the pom poms on the clip and it could look like a formidable foe! I'm not sure what it's like in the USA but here in the UK you can ring up rescue societies for specific breeds, I took on an ex working lurcher because I already had an ex working terrier therefore already had the restrcitions that go with that. I knew rescued lurchers have often been worked but are good house dogs so I sought the breed from a lurcher rescue society.

I know what you mean about alarms we have the same problem with the dogs, but there are dummy outside boxes that can be a deterant and ctv camera's are good too (+getting cheeper to buy and install all the time). Personally I think a combination of those two is probably more secure than a working alarm anyway.

ASpouse

I have 8 dogs, and if someone broke in here maybe one or two dog may get killed, but the rest will take anyone down. LOL

I never lock my doors!

GettingBy

Hey Jess,

I'm so sorry to hear about your home. I had an apartment broken into when I was living 2 time zones away from all my family/friends. It was so scary and I felt so violated, and nothing anyone said really seemed to console it. With time it did go away b/c I focused on making my apartment more secure. Changed the locks (bigger, heavier duty deadbolts), looked into ways to secure the windows, etc... all of these things were to restore my peace of mind.

We have a security system on our house, and the motion sensors are able to distinguish the difference between a human and our dog and cat. I'm sure they'll ask you if you have pets. Alot of systems like ADT will also give you the equipment and installation for free if you're willing to sign up for a 1-yr, 2-yr contract, etc. We have ADT and it costs about $25-30 a month for the monitoring service. I would also look into motion sensors for the outdoor lights, very inexpensive, easy to install, and the nice thing is the light turns on/off for YOU as well!

Hugs,
Shannon

pmaslan

Jessica....I am so sorry to hear this happened to you and your family....I live with the premise that everything happens for a reason too...but what kind of reasoning is this!!!!!
Love, Patty

JessicaNAJ

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I think just knowing there are compasionate people who sincerely care about me is helping. You guys are the best.

I am in the process of securing EVERYTHING moreso than before. I think once the steel door is in in the basement I will feel MUCH better.

I finally slept through the night last night and it only took me 20 minutes to fall asleep. Probably sheer exhaustion.

As with everything else, I know that this too shall pass.

Thank you all for being here

***I don't know what the reason is behind this, but I do know that this situation will make me stronger. Everyday is a learning experience.

Aquiana

That is terribly scary! I hope you're starting to feel a little better about things. I was just in a store the other day actually looking at some little sensors you put on windows that beep loudly if someone opens one. My grandma lives in a rather rough part of the city and they were able to get one of those little signs that security companies put up outside your home. She doesn't actually have a system, but someone would have to break in to find that out. You can even put up a big "Beware of Dog" sign on the fence, nobody needs to know you don't actually have one. You can get some nice security bars for your basement windows as well. My dad can make them, (well anyone who can weld can) and they don't have to look like a jail cell.

I sincerely hope you start to get more comfy. Things will look up.

Girlfriend

Awww, Jessica I'm sorry! That must be scary for you and your kids. Bless your hearts!

There are all kinds of security systems available now adays. If they're too expensive in the stores, EBAY might have a good one. ( I get great deals on E bay when I need them).

My prayers are with you!


((hugs))

reader

I like the dog idea. My husband works nights and i sleep well knowing the dog is on duty. Go to a shelter and adopt a big mutt. I love my my smelly alarm system. Kerry

Cynay

Just hugs for you is all I can say.