Minx1969

Things seem ok on the personal front. New beau is great but I'm not doing so well at work...

I was at a large corporation for 8 years as a Project Manager. Totally lost my desire to be at the company so in December I was offered 2 jobs and I took the one I'm in now. Started in late January. At first I was really excited! I love learning new things, it was a new company, close to my house, great $, new people..well 6 months later I'm ready to quit or leave..but I'm paralyzed by my fear of financial insecurity. (I do have some money saved..could probably survive without work for at least 3 months..)

My sponsor and I recently did a work 4th step..I don't think I've been happy in any job I have ever been in..(well happy for the short term then I get restless, irritable and discontent). I totally take what people say to me personally (the bosses who told me "I made them look bad" or that "I wasn't remorseful enough"..I think part of the problem is that I want to do a total career change and am scared sh*tless..I make really really good money now, but I want to do life coaching full time which is basically starting my own business..

The current work situation was/is scary..I left the security of one company I worked for a long time and went to another big corporation on a year contract. The first 4 months were confusing at first..lots of reorgs, NO direction..I feel like a lost sheep..I was working closely with another contractor (she is kind of running the program I am working on..) Until she stopped talking to me..She told me and our boss that we were "worthless" and we were both "fired"..That was a few months ago and she won't talk to me..in fact, she gossips about me but won't say it to my face. (She sits in the next cube when she is in the office).

I am majorly venting here..In my own head, I see myself getting fired..I think she is plotting against me..(I sound paranoid)..This is a constant subject I discuss with my sponsor - who tells me to do nothing and just let her be..which I do..but my mind plays tricks on me..when she works at home (3 days a week) I have good days..when she doesn't I'm all paranoid..

I know some of my paranoia is justified..She is a major control freak. I overheard her taking over some of my work I'm currently on (our boss is out of town)...My boss is on vacation every 3 weeks and has an unusual work style to say the least..doesn't offer any support..

I cannot find a way to detach from this situation..HELP!! Also - how do I deal with my financial insecurities? I have a mortgage, student loans from my MBA and I just bought a car.

Any support and love would be appreciated..

Minx

cwohio

(((minx)))

FriendofBill

The Big Book says that financial security comes only as we perform our spiritual maintenance.

If you have a dirty floor, you must maintain it with soap and water.
If you have long hair, you must maintain it with shampoo and conditioner.
If you have financial fears, relationship fears, fear of any kind, you must maintain it with prayer and meditation, 12 steps, working with others on thier fears.

Its the same as with any fear, of any kind. Give it to God by taking the action steps suggested, and the relief with come.

It has always worked for my financial fears.

Let go, Let God...he works on addicts, alcoholics, codies and $$ probs too!

Cap3

Double ditto what Fob says in her post.You know the truth.You know that you are doing a good job,as best that you can.Thats it,and thats all.What others think about me,is none of my business.The work place is a great place to live in program.All kinds of intersting folks.Life on lifes terms.Not always easy,at times.Tring to see the good in folks,no matter what.because if i start judging them,im into the "stuff" too.Let go,let God,and keep on keeping on.
Minx you say that you think that part of the problem is that you want to do a total caree change and that you are scared.That you want to do life coaching full time.Its been said many times that 90% of folks,in the, work-field are not happy in their jobs and that if possible they would do something else.Many have not tried their goals because of fear.Im a firm believer that God gives me goals,and dreams.Pray and meditate.Ive had to let go of my fears,and let God direct me.I left sercuity.I left what felt safe,and let Him direct me.Of course i had foks tell me,hey what are you doing?In their own fear,they tried to say to me that my journey would never work out for me.But it did and has.No one knows God,s Plan for others.If you feel deep down that you need to change,your profession,through prayer/meditation,then go for it.Let go,and let God direct you.But if you feel that you want this change because others are getting on your nerves,then work needs to be done here,with life on lifes termes.Because even in your own bussiness you will meet the same folks who you work with,now,lol..

Minx1969

FOB and Cap:

I agree with you..did some reading in ODAT and Courage to Change this morning on fear and I'm always praying about it! Meditating too..

I think the main issue is not the people I work with, but I need to move into something I really want to do (life coaching)..I don't have a lot of faith (still new to the program - alittle over a year)..

I think that God has put a few people in my life (sponsees and a few mentees in another program) that I'm helping through similar issues..That's how god works in my life..and it does help me to help them..

Thanks everyone.

Minx

Cynay

Hey sweetie *hugs*

I know the feeling but things have a way of working out. Have you thought of looking into something else that is another step to life coaching???? Say human resources or something along that line. Have you started checking out what is out there that catches your eye, maybe another job that would interest you till you felt financially secure enough to start your own business?

You said that you left a long term position and went to this one.... Did you choose this job or accept it? I know what its like to work for/with people that give off those feelings and sometimes there is nothing that can be done about them, but in that department what is the worst that can happen? Once you have figured out the worst (what that means to you) then find the solution to that and let it go.

Just a thought or two

walkingtheline

Here's how I see it.

You KNOW you have skills, otherwise, you would not have been given these great jobs. It's not likely you'll ever lack work if you want it.

If it were me, I would make a plan. Reorganize your current budget to save as much as you can. When you have whatever amount you've decided is necessary saved, (maybe a year's salary?), have a plan ready to start your life coaching so you can hit the ground running and know you'll meet your bills.

Henry David Thoreau:
I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Minx1969

I do have a plan..It's to stick it out through the year and keep saving some $$..

My sponsor has already given me direction to start looking for a job closer to my own heart and I have to set up monthly goals..

Yesterday was just a fearful day..still trying to reprogram those old tapes the run in my head..at least I'm aware of them!

Today is better..it's friday and I have much more energy and hope..