somebodysfool

I went to my first CoDA meeting tonight and I loved it. It actually felt like Taking Care of Myself. For the first time I feel like I accomplished something for me. So for this second, minute and night I will enjoy the piece of serenity I left the meeting with. Thank you guys for being here. And praise God for he is God.

J

cwohio

good for you! i attended a 6 week CoDA workshop earlier this year and the group was small (7 women). It was a wonderful experience and we hope to continue with the same group in Sept.

Enjoy yourself and learn lots!

hugs - christie

brdlvr2

What is the difference between Coda and Al anon? Just curious as I'm definitly codie.

cwohio

someone can probably explain it better and i hope they do. you can be codependent and not be in an A situtation, altho lots of times it is the case. codie behaviors are not the basis for the al-anon program but they can intertwine.

i'm sure that doesn't make any sense - have you read the book - CoDependent No More by Melodie Beattie? it may help.

sorry if this didn't make sense!

hugs - christie

somebodysfool

It is a 12-step program that they based off AA. But the focus is not about how to deal with and acquire skills dealing with an A. The focus is about taking the focus off everyone else and loving yourself, building yourself esteem, nuturing yourself and learning skills to express and deal with your emotions. I get the reassurance in Al-anon that the drinking is not my fault and I am powerless over it, but in CoDA I got the fact that I have power over me. So I will attend both because my AH is still giving me grief. .....Like last night when he played good dad by dropping the kids off for some fun and then went out, called at 10:30 to make sure they got home, spoke to me briefly and said "I'll see you in a little while", poured himself in bed at 5:00am, did not wake up the 3 times I tried to wake him, told me someone else was opening the shop on the 3rd attempt, left an hour and a half late for work, punched his fist in his hand because it was late, copped an attitude with me when I told him he told me someone else was opening, stormed out of the house, refused to kiss me goodbye (as my punishment I guess) and now it will be ALL MY FAULT according to his head. Probably because I am codependent and that has just given him aperfect excuse as to why everything is my fault. Anyway, I am going to go pray now because I should have done that first and then read, take a shower and get something accomplished. I was going into the shop to file paperwork but I don't think I want to deal with the abuse. Hope I answered your question. Thanks for listening to my rant.

J

brdlvr2

Yes, thanks for the answer. CoDa does seem to be for me, but then again. All my relationships have been with A's and this last one (longest and the worst) - whew big time stress from the on and off with a hardcore alcoholic.