Rose56

I was sitting here this morning wondering what I wanted to do tonight. I decided to invite a new girlfriend to go to the movies with me and she said yes!! Yea. We are going to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which I heard is really funny. Then my husband calls me and asks me what's going on? I said I am going to the movies tonight with my friend. He say oh, in a way that means he is sad or disappointed. I didn't say anything and we talked about a couple of other things and hung up.

My point is, I am not giving in to his disease anymore. We have a pattern, he calls and we make plans to go to a movie. When I get home he has been drinking heavily and is nasty and I don't want to go anywhere with him. So I planed to go with my friend and we will have fun.

To do this I have to give up on the idea that things will be different tonight, that it will somehow after all this time be ok tonight when he doesn't even see he has a problem. I have to accept that the problem exists, that I can't change it, and that I don't have to be around it. I also have to accept that we cannot be as intimate as I would like because of this problem. In other words, I have to take care of myself. I am starting to believe this and take action on this new belief.

I am separate from him and my needs come first. He may feel sad. Too bad. My needs come first. Thanks for listening.

Hangin' In

Wow, Rose! You are an inspiration. I just got through ranting and raving to my husband about our daughter (bless his heart, he just lets me go on and on...). I was basically telling him the same thing that you just wrote about.

I am sick and tired of the tail wagging the dog around here. We are putting a stop to it (or at least I'm going to start TRYING to put a stop to it today. I have to be realistic and know the daughter will pull at my hearts strings.) But coming here and reading posts like your's help me to regain my resolve.

Thanks, Rose. Little did you know your post would help me.

Ann

Hi Rose

Just want to say hello and I hope you enjoy My Big Fat Greek Wedding as much as I did. It is hilarious and you'll never use Windex again wothout laughing (see the movie and you'll understand this).

Sometimes we have to make our own fun Rose, and good for you for doing that. Laughter is an important part of recovery, and I guarantee that you'll be laughing tonight.

Have fun!!!