Sunday not a Funday
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Sunday not a Funday
It never seems to change no matter how much I plan, Sunday gets me down.
I went out on Saturday, but this woman I had dinner with was simply put a bitch.
God I hate all this.
I would really like to talk with my wife.
Find out where her head is, or is not so to speak.
Like why not contact me on all these bill issues?
Or what the hell you thinging?
Do you want a divorce?
What are you waiting for?
Well I'd like some input if anyone can.
Thanks...
I went out on Saturday, but this woman I had dinner with was simply put a bitch.
God I hate all this.
I would really like to talk with my wife.
Find out where her head is, or is not so to speak.
Like why not contact me on all these bill issues?
Or what the hell you thinging?
Do you want a divorce?
What are you waiting for?
Well I'd like some input if anyone can.
Thanks...
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
What are you waiting for?
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Hi Minnie,
I've written wife letters about the bills, and when I ask of them , she says they will have to wait, just like I have to about what she wants.
Now I really do not know if she is in any type of program to recover since there is little contact.
Now it's 12am here, and the past keeps running over and over in my head like a bad movie.
I wish it would stop.
I've written wife letters about the bills, and when I ask of them , she says they will have to wait, just like I have to about what she wants.
Now I really do not know if she is in any type of program to recover since there is little contact.
Now it's 12am here, and the past keeps running over and over in my head like a bad movie.
I wish it would stop.
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
To quote a bumper sticker I had on my guitar case for years, "Love is not about finding the right person; it's about being the right person".
Hang the picture, 'cos Minnie hit the nail on the head. Obsessing over someone gives them power over you, whether they are aware of it or not.
I can't let any person be my Higher Power today, no matter how much I love them or what they mean to me.
Today I refuse to chase emotionally-unavailable people.
Today I will not expect people to display skills they clearly do not possess.
Today I will pray for healing in the lives of those who suffer from the diseases of alcoholism, addiction, despair and fear (myself included!).
Today I will focus on myself and my own recovery.
Let it begin with me!
Hang the picture, 'cos Minnie hit the nail on the head. Obsessing over someone gives them power over you, whether they are aware of it or not.
I can't let any person be my Higher Power today, no matter how much I love them or what they mean to me.
Today I refuse to chase emotionally-unavailable people.
Today I will not expect people to display skills they clearly do not possess.
Today I will pray for healing in the lives of those who suffer from the diseases of alcoholism, addiction, despair and fear (myself included!).
Today I will focus on myself and my own recovery.
Let it begin with me!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
You know what.... this is going to sound cruel and I will make amends in advance ....so
Im sorry..... BUT
This reminds me of the A that is not convienced that he has a problem and can control his disease.... what the sponsor tells them is to go ahead and try to drink again. Im wondering if the same advise is good for you, Go ahead and called, call her everyday and push the issues. Tell her how much you love her and how much you want her back into your life. If it works great! if not maybe it will hit deep enough for you to know your powerless and stop expecting of her what she does not have/want to give.
I actually have done this to myself, did it last March if you remember... I even talked to him again in May with an open heart hoping beyond hope that a mirciral had happened... BOY did that hurt, Im learning not to put my hand on the burner... its hard but I dont have expectations now and if you want control of your life... its your job to take that control back.
*hugs* I know its hard... and Im not there yet either. One day at a time.
Im sorry..... BUT
This reminds me of the A that is not convienced that he has a problem and can control his disease.... what the sponsor tells them is to go ahead and try to drink again. Im wondering if the same advise is good for you, Go ahead and called, call her everyday and push the issues. Tell her how much you love her and how much you want her back into your life. If it works great! if not maybe it will hit deep enough for you to know your powerless and stop expecting of her what she does not have/want to give.
I actually have done this to myself, did it last March if you remember... I even talked to him again in May with an open heart hoping beyond hope that a mirciral had happened... BOY did that hurt, Im learning not to put my hand on the burner... its hard but I dont have expectations now and if you want control of your life... its your job to take that control back.
*hugs* I know its hard... and Im not there yet either. One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Cynay...funny you mentioned the hand on the burner thing....right before my alarm went off this morning ...the last part of my dream that I remember was me putting my hand right on the hot burner of the stove.....how funny you brought that up in this post...hmmmm maybe that was a warning sign of some sort for me....LOL
Love, Patty
Love, Patty
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 48
Here are two links to websites that you really should visit and read more about...I have to agree with everyone, as much as it hurts...honey you are pushing her further and further away...
http://www.family.org/married/youngcouples/a0019167.cfm
http://www.illinois-family-law.com/C...ngsToAvoid.asp
If you haven't gotten a therapist, now is definitely the time to consider it. Also, why not contact an Attorney and speak with them and they can speak to her for you. This way she will be liable for any share of her bills. You have got to let go, just like I did...it's the only way to save YOURSELF...set her free as much as it hurts...and I know. There isn't one day that I don't cry for the man I love. I am the first to admit it...but if they wanted us, then they would be with us (just like I have heard from everyone on here)...they have made other choices, chosen other people, maybe for a short time maybe forever, that's the reality...and yes it hurts me til no end...but I have NO CONTROL over him as you do over her. By letting her go, you can heal yourself...and show yourself that you can move forward. Don't even bother going out...you aren't ready, neither am I. Putting ourselves in the arms of others, only masks the pain, which is what they are doing right now...two wrongs have never made a right. Heal the pain inside you first, find yourself first and you will be the better person in the end.
The joke of the day...OW petname that she was bragging about the other night that EX gave her...has been my petname for 5yrs...LOL and the dog they are getting, the name that EX and I picked out...how sad for her and how sad for him that it's almost like he has continued on his relationship with me in spirit...it's like wearing hand me down clothing...and who knows if his EX before me had the same petname...LOL!!
http://www.family.org/married/youngcouples/a0019167.cfm
http://www.illinois-family-law.com/C...ngsToAvoid.asp
If you haven't gotten a therapist, now is definitely the time to consider it. Also, why not contact an Attorney and speak with them and they can speak to her for you. This way she will be liable for any share of her bills. You have got to let go, just like I did...it's the only way to save YOURSELF...set her free as much as it hurts...and I know. There isn't one day that I don't cry for the man I love. I am the first to admit it...but if they wanted us, then they would be with us (just like I have heard from everyone on here)...they have made other choices, chosen other people, maybe for a short time maybe forever, that's the reality...and yes it hurts me til no end...but I have NO CONTROL over him as you do over her. By letting her go, you can heal yourself...and show yourself that you can move forward. Don't even bother going out...you aren't ready, neither am I. Putting ourselves in the arms of others, only masks the pain, which is what they are doing right now...two wrongs have never made a right. Heal the pain inside you first, find yourself first and you will be the better person in the end.
The joke of the day...OW petname that she was bragging about the other night that EX gave her...has been my petname for 5yrs...LOL and the dog they are getting, the name that EX and I picked out...how sad for her and how sad for him that it's almost like he has continued on his relationship with me in spirit...it's like wearing hand me down clothing...and who knows if his EX before me had the same petname...LOL!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
When I first started Alanon my sponsor would say to me that I had control over how much pain I wanted..she is a wise woman..I learned not to do things or obsess about things or people that cause me pain.
You have a choice Mr. C about how you are going to live your life. Are you going to continue to cause yourself pain or are you going to take a positive action to help yourself (therapy, journal, call an Alanon friend, go to a meeting).
All of us have choices on how much pain to be in..I learned not to look up my exABF on his website..
Your wife is in love with alcohol...
you need to surrender and move on with your life..
BTW - NoCellPhone is right..you have to be the right person to find the right person..I honestly believe that..
I am now dating a wonderful wonderful man who I probably would have overlooked before recovery in Alanon..I'm glad I had an exABF so that I can now reap the rewards of a great relationship...
When I was still damaged, I attracted damaged people and I was only interested in damaged people..
You have a choice Mr. C about how you are going to live your life. Are you going to continue to cause yourself pain or are you going to take a positive action to help yourself (therapy, journal, call an Alanon friend, go to a meeting).
All of us have choices on how much pain to be in..I learned not to look up my exABF on his website..
Your wife is in love with alcohol...
you need to surrender and move on with your life..
BTW - NoCellPhone is right..you have to be the right person to find the right person..I honestly believe that..
I am now dating a wonderful wonderful man who I probably would have overlooked before recovery in Alanon..I'm glad I had an exABF so that I can now reap the rewards of a great relationship...
When I was still damaged, I attracted damaged people and I was only interested in damaged people..
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Originally Posted by Minx1969
BTW - NoCellPhone is right..you have to be the right person to find the right person..I honestly believe that..
Originally Posted by Minx1969
When I was still damaged, I attracted damaged people and I was only interested in damaged people..
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Hi to All.
Well another glorious day, now the ignition system went in the car and that’s more $$ not to mention a days pay taking care of it, because I can not get to work in a car that wont move.
EORW,
I tell you it gets more difficult everyday dealing with people, at least it seems that way.
NOCELL,
Thank you for listening tonight when we chatted. The babbling of a lost one I’m sure.
CYNAY,
I do understand about what you are trying to say.
She wants nothing to do with me, but that’s the part I can not handle.
PATTY,
No I’m tired of burning my hand too.
It’s just this girl was always there for me, now she is someone different
SEXY S,
I’m not sure how I’m pushing a person away that I have no contact with.
Very hard to let go my friend, it hurts so deep, so long, and so painful.
I have seen doctors, to no avail.
As far as legal, I’ve taken that step also.
I make too much $ to get help from legal aid, and not enough to pay for it all.
Then when I do get ahead, the car or I either get laid off takes the cash.
BTW thanks for the links….
MINX,
Wow about attracting the damaged!
I have!
I’m just really lonely at this point.
Well another glorious day, now the ignition system went in the car and that’s more $$ not to mention a days pay taking care of it, because I can not get to work in a car that wont move.
EORW,
I tell you it gets more difficult everyday dealing with people, at least it seems that way.
NOCELL,
Thank you for listening tonight when we chatted. The babbling of a lost one I’m sure.
CYNAY,
I do understand about what you are trying to say.
She wants nothing to do with me, but that’s the part I can not handle.
PATTY,
No I’m tired of burning my hand too.
It’s just this girl was always there for me, now she is someone different
SEXY S,
I’m not sure how I’m pushing a person away that I have no contact with.
Very hard to let go my friend, it hurts so deep, so long, and so painful.
I have seen doctors, to no avail.
As far as legal, I’ve taken that step also.
I make too much $ to get help from legal aid, and not enough to pay for it all.
Then when I do get ahead, the car or I either get laid off takes the cash.
BTW thanks for the links….
MINX,
Wow about attracting the damaged!
I have!
I’m just really lonely at this point.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Well the car is back up, but now the damn brake light is on showing I need new brake-pads.
I really do not know if I should laugh or cry.
Now the worst thing now is my cat Ms. Meuw, is ill.
I've seen the pattern befor in old cat.
The wieght loss, and sleeping alot.
This cat and I were left over ayear ago and just had each other.
Before the others were sent back,(cats), she would scream til I came home, she was so sad.
She gave me so much comfort, I can not stand her being taken from me also.
Not much I can do with this.
I really do not know if I should laugh or cry.
Now the worst thing now is my cat Ms. Meuw, is ill.
I've seen the pattern befor in old cat.
The wieght loss, and sleeping alot.
This cat and I were left over ayear ago and just had each other.
Before the others were sent back,(cats), she would scream til I came home, she was so sad.
She gave me so much comfort, I can not stand her being taken from me also.
Not much I can do with this.
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