Long Winded-seeking advice re: Mr. Moonlight
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
WTL.... HUGS
How long ago did you break up with eabf ???
Some tidbitts I have heard and read. 1. if involved 8 yrs, it will take 4 years of no contact to get over. two years would take one year, but no contact is not seeing then on the street etc, as well as not hearing the voice.
In my case I just knew I would not be a good wife to any other man. If I had not met the man I married, would I have married for companionship, or money, and just existed?? Maybe,. After we met and only a few dates he had to be gone. No promises on either side, we probably both thought, "that's it", she will find someone else, I for sure thought he would find smeone else. I dated, no doubt he did too.
His voice was forever, every min. in my head and heart. I was bored with every one else. I love men, love to hear them talk, have several men friends I can do things with as friends. (Course AA like brothers and sis, big hugs and love you from them.)
One man I dated , there was physical attraction, but I knew I would not be a good wife.
With the man I married I so wanted to be a good wife, (course I wasn't). (smile)
Just some thoughts on this.
Probably makes no sense.
Guess I am wondering if maybe also he has an old love in his heart??. In my case I would rather be alone to do my selfish things than to be with someone, unless I am happy watching them and forever facinated by the way they sounded, or I laughed with pure happiness to see them laugh.
I wanted him to be happy, but wanted it to be that I was his happiness, did I ever know for sure if I made him happy, of course not.
I repeat, just some thoughts. LV ya
How long ago did you break up with eabf ???
Some tidbitts I have heard and read. 1. if involved 8 yrs, it will take 4 years of no contact to get over. two years would take one year, but no contact is not seeing then on the street etc, as well as not hearing the voice.
In my case I just knew I would not be a good wife to any other man. If I had not met the man I married, would I have married for companionship, or money, and just existed?? Maybe,. After we met and only a few dates he had to be gone. No promises on either side, we probably both thought, "that's it", she will find someone else, I for sure thought he would find smeone else. I dated, no doubt he did too.
His voice was forever, every min. in my head and heart. I was bored with every one else. I love men, love to hear them talk, have several men friends I can do things with as friends. (Course AA like brothers and sis, big hugs and love you from them.)
One man I dated , there was physical attraction, but I knew I would not be a good wife.
With the man I married I so wanted to be a good wife, (course I wasn't). (smile)
Just some thoughts on this.
Probably makes no sense.
Guess I am wondering if maybe also he has an old love in his heart??. In my case I would rather be alone to do my selfish things than to be with someone, unless I am happy watching them and forever facinated by the way they sounded, or I laughed with pure happiness to see them laugh.
I wanted him to be happy, but wanted it to be that I was his happiness, did I ever know for sure if I made him happy, of course not.
I repeat, just some thoughts. LV ya
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
Wow, how I love all these different angles to consider. 
If there were no considerations except the emotional and physical want I would have slept with Mr. Moonlight a long time ago! hahaha He's FUN...I have to believe sex with him would be fun as well.
However, we quickly figured out we could be friends. Confide-in-friends. So we set aside physical wants. For months our only physical contact was those of manners...the hand on your back when you enter a doorway, a hand to guide you in a darkened theater...that sort of thing. At the end of our date we'd hug and I'd be home. It's been wonderful.
In the last month or so we've gotten in the habit of kisses. We'll be somewhere talking to someone or walking the beach and we handhold. More touching. And it simply makes you want MORE. And yes, we've talked about it. We agree it would be fun...but at the moment have declared it verboten. (somehow it sounds more forbidden in German hahahaha)
We decided that we need more time. If this leads to marriage, THAT's the place for sex. We're not kids. He's often with me when I teach, he fetches and totes and tutors slower students. Keep in mind they too are adults...adults re-entering the world post drugs and/or homelessness, jail, ect. They're learning how to be members in good standing of this society. And because they've reached out to a christian organization for obtain those skills, we both think we must lead by example. The students are not stupid, they KNOW he and I are involved. I have to walk the walk of the christian values we're trying to instill. Anything else would be disrespectful to everyone, me, the students, Mr. Moonlight and to God. That's what my heart says clearly. It's just my WANTS that says 'YUM YUM'. hahaha
Since it was laying heavily on my mind I posted it here because I respect you're opinions and experiences. And it has been ever so helpful!
So for now...I'm celebate. I live alone. And I'm enjoying this journey...and trying to figure out if it's a vacation or a lifelong path.
Thanks everyone!
If there were no considerations except the emotional and physical want I would have slept with Mr. Moonlight a long time ago! hahaha He's FUN...I have to believe sex with him would be fun as well.
However, we quickly figured out we could be friends. Confide-in-friends. So we set aside physical wants. For months our only physical contact was those of manners...the hand on your back when you enter a doorway, a hand to guide you in a darkened theater...that sort of thing. At the end of our date we'd hug and I'd be home. It's been wonderful.
In the last month or so we've gotten in the habit of kisses. We'll be somewhere talking to someone or walking the beach and we handhold. More touching. And it simply makes you want MORE.
And yes, we've talked about it. We agree it would be fun...but at the moment have declared it verboten. (somehow it sounds more forbidden in German hahahaha) We decided that we need more time. If this leads to marriage, THAT's the place for sex. We're not kids. He's often with me when I teach, he fetches and totes and tutors slower students. Keep in mind they too are adults...adults re-entering the world post drugs and/or homelessness, jail, ect. They're learning how to be members in good standing of this society. And because they've reached out to a christian organization for obtain those skills, we both think we must lead by example. The students are not stupid, they KNOW he and I are involved. I have to walk the walk of the christian values we're trying to instill. Anything else would be disrespectful to everyone, me, the students, Mr. Moonlight and to God. That's what my heart says clearly. It's just my WANTS that says 'YUM YUM'. hahaha
Since it was laying heavily on my mind I posted it here because I respect you're opinions and experiences. And it has been ever so helpful!
So for now...I'm celebate. I live alone. And I'm enjoying this journey...and trying to figure out if it's a vacation or a lifelong path.
Thanks everyone!
too much on my plate!!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Irene,
I honestly respect you for what you are doing, the way you are considering everything between you and him. Maybe give this over to your HP?
It sounds like you are so happy! I'm glad that you found someone that can treat you with love and respect, that you so greatly deserve.
It also gives me hope that there is men out there that can love and respect you for who you are. Finding them and recognizing that is the hard part!
Hugs,
Savana
I honestly respect you for what you are doing, the way you are considering everything between you and him. Maybe give this over to your HP?
It sounds like you are so happy! I'm glad that you found someone that can treat you with love and respect, that you so greatly deserve.
It also gives me hope that there is men out there that can love and respect you for who you are. Finding them and recognizing that is the hard part!
Hugs,
Savana
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