Heading For Homeless
 

My son who has been struggling with his addiction and talking recovery but not acting, is heading for homeless tomorrow.

He blew the rent money, and is not in particularly good shape right now, but he seems to prefer the street to program.

He came by for dinner, and I offered to take him to Detox which he declined. He said he was $20 short this week (he pays weekly) and I didn't bite...been there before.

Normally I would be very sad and afraid, but thanks to this program, I recognize that he is closer to finding recovery than he was two weeks ago when he was talking a good story.

As I watch him hit another bottom, I am praying for him and hope that he will be on his knees soon. It is painful to watch him just getting worse and worse, but I know that paying his rent for him would be truly getting in God's way. All that would do would be to keep him using another week.

All you mom's out there know what I am talking about, and this post is not to look for pity, but to say thank you for all the strength you and this program has given me. And to say thank you to God for watching over him.

And maybe to ask you all to keep him in your prayers.

Hi Ann.

I'm certainly keeping your son, and you, in my prayers as always. What's a mom for if not to help her kid grow up? That's what you are doing. You are a champ!

Love and Hugs!
Smoke

Ann,

I'm right there with you. I just wish these children of ours would become homeless in the summer time for a change. I was thinking of buying a tent and sleeping bag for a Christmas present. What do you think?

You are all in my prayers.

Hugs,
MG

We already bought him the new winter coat and boots - to take to rehab with him....duhhh. At least he will be warm. He know where help is, he knows the drill, and he has all the phone numbers. It is between him and God now.

And Smoke - you're right. He has a lot of growing up to do, as well as recovery. He knows the ropes.

Thank you for your prayers. Poor God knows him by name. But I know He listens.

You are an inspiration to me. God is with both of you.

Yep we truly are rowing the same boat Ann.


I talked to the Beav tonite for the first time in over 20 days. He is in a 90 day program and he has been there for 70 days. The longest he has been clean for 10 years.

I did not get a warm and fuzzy feeling. He talks about what he wants but not how he plans to get there. In fact he said he has no plans. None of the sober living arrangements meet his needs, I guess. He does not want to live in any of the places that are offered.

He seems to be feeling badly about how his life has been going up until now but unable to find a way back.

But like Ann I am not looking for advise or pity. Just some prayers for my son and my family. It has been a long journey.

And Ann...you know my prayers are with you!

((HUGS)))
JT

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Anns)))))))))))))))))) )))))))))

Many hugs to you... Your friend... Clowie

You know my prayers are with you too. In the end, all we can do is pray. He knows we love him, he knows we are here to cheer him on, and that is all we can do.

Recovery is so much more than just doing a program. While that helps and gets them clean and on their feet, the real recovery starts when rehab is over. You'd think they would learn that recovery is a life time program and that they have to change if they want to change. My son gets complacent, usually finds a girlfriend (I'm grateful that there is no gf on the scene right now) and then they lose focus. And the cycle continues.

That is why I am not afraid to let him fall. To cushion the fall might delay the journey and that delay could kill him.

It is a gift to be able to turn this over to my Higher Power and let go. I cannot live my life in his disease. I can only live in my recovery.

Thank you all for being here and caring. That alone gives me great comfort.

I love you all.

******{Ann}}}} ********{All the moms}}}}} ******{Everyone}}}}

It is amazing how a program and support group can help you though these trying times. I honestly don't know what I would have done without all of you.

Ann, you and your family will be in my prayers along with all the moms, daughters, sons, etc. tonight. Praying that He may guide everyone in the right direction.

Many hugs
Love,
Debbie

wow. You guys are in my prayers too! I thank my HP every day for the strength he gives me... and how he has put the program as well as this forum in my life. Just like face to face meetings, I get what I need when I come to read the postings.

I am sorry for your pain, but I rejoice with you in your recovery. As we let our loved ones experience their own consequences, they are given the opportunity to grow closer to their own HP. I think that is one of the best gifts we can give them.

Hugs all around
Osier59

((((((((((ANNS))))))))))) (((((((((((((((JT))))))))))))))))))

I'll put both of your sons in my prayres. By not giving in to the desire to save them, you are showing how much you truly love them. It must be very hard, I wish you didn't have to go through the heartache, but like Osier said, we can all rejoice in recovery and know we are doing the best thing for those we love.

Love and hugs,

Searching

Anns and JT,

Please know that your and your sons are in my prayers. Being a strong mom and doing what is best for our children is probably the hardest job in the world. I congratulate you women for doing what is best for your children even though you want to save them for the immediate moment.

I know I'm relatively new to this board, but a mom is a mom is a mom. Just know you have prayers going out for you and your sons. And I have a prayer group whom I will ask to pray also.

You girls are such an inspiration to me. I don't think you have any idea the strength you give to others who come here for glimpses of hope.:)

I thank God for you and will be asking Him to especially comfort you at this difficult time.

Love ya'll,

Hangin' In

Anns and JT,

Please know that your and your sons are in my prayers. Being a strong mom and doing what is best for our children is probably the hardest job in the world. I congratulate you women for doing what is best for your children even though you want to save them for the immediate moment.

I know I'm relatively new to this board, but a mom is a mom is a mom. Just know you have prayers going out for you and your sons. And I have a prayer group whom I will ask to pray also.

You girls are such an inspiration to me. I don't think you have any idea the strength you give to others who come here for glimpses of hope.:)

I thank God for you and will be asking Him to especially comfort you at this difficult time.

Love ya'll,

Hangin' In

This picture kind of explains it. The heart looks happy and healed, but you can imagine the pain of the original split.

A lot of our hearts are splitting right now. I do believe there is healing for the heartache.


http://alcoholism.about.com/library/...detachment.jpg

MG - I really like that example. We are all stronger for the healing. And detaching with love, still leaves the love, but gives them the space and opportunity to learn to work out their own problems by themselves. And that is a gift of love in itself.

I am grateful to be strong enough to detach and to give him this gift.

Anns,
Your son is in my prayers, and you are
so strong. You know that my son has been
in and out this last week, and I was
finally there. I wrote him a loving letter
that I couldn't give him a place to live
anymore. He totally panicked, it was the
first time I had truly surrendered his
disease. He wrote back, (our communica-
tion LOL) that he had now lost me, his
wife and kids. But he did throw in that
he wasn't "that bad", and only going
through a difficult time ????? He was
rescued once again, back home with the
wife and kids-he's good, and he's also
very lucky-too bad he doesn't see that.
My prayers are with you, and I know you
know that God is going to take care of this and that's what inspires me about
you-is that you know.

Love,

Josie,

A letter is a good idea. You can say what you want without having to defend it and get sidetracked. Maybe I will write one too and decide after if I want to send it.

Personally I have not been chasing down my son because conversations with him leave me drained. But you were all there when I was talking to him last night. When he started getting frustrated I asked him how the food was. When he started complaining I asked him what his room was like.

I find myself trying to advise...and how many times have I preached about that around here. It is a hard thing to not do, maybe more so with your child. So I thought of you guys and listened to my own advise and changed the subject.

So there we are...again. I am going to close my mouth and open my ears for a while and the answers and the comfort will come for me. They always have and I have faith that they always will.

You are all in my prayers...and I can feel yours!

Hugs,
JT