helluvagalnva

Hi All,

Well I've been really sick for the past 11 days. I've feeling much better now! I went to court Wednesday for increase in child support and of course the A "hole" was in rare form. He's trying everything to make me feel quilty. He's holding nothing back now.

I looked at him-made eye contact and told him to leave me alone. We were not getting back together. He said well what if I go to rehab and get clean, do you think we can work on us then? I remembered Smoke's post about not thinking about the what if's and living in what is. I told him that I really hope he gets the help he needs but I'm not living my life thinking about what might or could happen - for once I'm living my life with what is and what is is that he is actively drinking and constantly telling me lies and things he thinks I want to hear and never following through with anything. The list goes on and on but I didn't seat there and scold him. He already knows how I feel and knows how badly he has screwed up. ( I think he got another DUI this past weekend).

Anyway, I wanted to say thank all of you for your continous support. Everyone here has helped me so much. I thank God every day for helping me find this site.

Love,
Galnva

Ann

Gal

You have no idea how much I needed to read this today. I really needed to get my balance again. I tend to live in the What if's way too much. I can see the What is and can live with that one day at a time.

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

piggle

You are so right. When you are living in the what ifs, everything is skewed. Decisions made in the what if world are often irrational. Looking at what is may not always seem to be the easiest path, but with knowledge comes acceptance and with acceptance you are able to work on changing what CAN be changed and dealing with what can't.

I spent too long in the what if world.

JT

Gal,

You said "He already knows how I feel" and that is so right! You have said it until you are hoarse. Why belabor the point?

You are doing so well...and you reminded me also to stay in the "what is".

Hugs,
JT

Kittycat

Hi Gal.... : )

My A is in rehab...and for sure in the what if I program.....I feel like you...I have had so many I am going to.......zzzzzzzzzz I truly want him to get better, but I just can't have the faith to believe....
Take care Gal
Love and **} Kitty

Morning Glory

Thanks galnva,

I needed to hear that today too.

It's really easy to slip into old patterns without realizing it.

We need to keep each other on our toes.

Hugs,
MG

spindell

I always fine it amazing that whenever i come on this site , i find something that or someone thats relates to how im feeling , What if world stinks , and im so glad u reminded me of that today, I nearly fell in2 the what if i did that senerio earlier on


Thanks guys , your all fab,

helluvagalnva

It is so easy to fall into the what if.........that was the world I lived in and still do to a point ..........I'm getting much better recgonizing it and staying focused on what is. It helps thinking and living one day at a time instead of what might happen tomorroww or next week or next year. I wasted so much time living like that. You all have helped me to live one day at a time.It really does make things alot more easier to deal with.

Love,
Galnva

Paulie

Wow -

I have really been living in the 'ifs' lately...thank you for posting this.

I have to remember 'what is' not 'what if'. So simple, yet not always so easy.

Thanks again.