Feeling pretty down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southwest
Posts: 20
Feeling pretty down
I am just feeling so down and hopeless right now.
My husband just relapsed, in a rather major way, and we just got married a couple of months ago. He stole (and had been doing so for months) my sisters drugs from a pain management clinic (she just had brain surgery).
He hasn't had anything to drink in about a week and a half now but things are so tense between us that we have nothing to say to one another at all. We have been seeing a marriage couselor and the only thing I have really gotten from it is that I don't think I want to be married to him anymore. I don't know if I should wait this out... or just give up... or what.
I love him but don't feel it right now... I am confused... feel so alone. He has betrayed me and my family... How can I ever trust him again???
I knew he was an A when I met him but he had been sober for two years... this is so horrible. I have no energy... no motivation... just don't know what to do. I have never been through this before.
Is there an online AlAnon meeting today??? I haven't been able to go to a face to face one yet.
My husband just relapsed, in a rather major way, and we just got married a couple of months ago. He stole (and had been doing so for months) my sisters drugs from a pain management clinic (she just had brain surgery).
He hasn't had anything to drink in about a week and a half now but things are so tense between us that we have nothing to say to one another at all. We have been seeing a marriage couselor and the only thing I have really gotten from it is that I don't think I want to be married to him anymore. I don't know if I should wait this out... or just give up... or what.
I love him but don't feel it right now... I am confused... feel so alone. He has betrayed me and my family... How can I ever trust him again???
I knew he was an A when I met him but he had been sober for two years... this is so horrible. I have no energy... no motivation... just don't know what to do. I have never been through this before.
Is there an online AlAnon meeting today??? I haven't been able to go to a face to face one yet.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Anaheim,CA
Posts: 549
((((gabriellepearl ))))
Any chance you can take a "time out"? Visit your family or do something to take a break over this long week-end.
At least do some things that can help you "clear your head". Take some walks or long bubble baths. Read. Pray. Think about what's best for YOU.
Then, once you're centered come up with a "game plan". Maybe that's marriage counseling, maybe it's packing your bags and walking...and any or every variable in-between. What's best for you-only YOU can know that answer.
I hope you find a way to get a little peace in your life.
Any chance you can take a "time out"? Visit your family or do something to take a break over this long week-end.
At least do some things that can help you "clear your head". Take some walks or long bubble baths. Read. Pray. Think about what's best for YOU.
Then, once you're centered come up with a "game plan". Maybe that's marriage counseling, maybe it's packing your bags and walking...and any or every variable in-between. What's best for you-only YOU can know that answer.
I hope you find a way to get a little peace in your life.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
My heart goes out to you. Its so hard. It really is best to do what is best for you and take it one minute at a time.
About the trusting? It will have to be rebuilt. But in the meantime, do what you can to relax and remind yourself that this was choice and you can either act or react.
Love to you
About the trusting? It will have to be rebuilt. But in the meantime, do what you can to relax and remind yourself that this was choice and you can either act or react.
Love to you
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
(((gabriellepearl))) - oh how it hurts. what the others posted above are good suggestions. there is a posting that tells you when on line meetings are. take it easy on yourself - we understand your feelings!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
Hey, everything you say sounds REALLY normal. Sometimes I have questioned if I love my AH when he has done crazy insane things from drinking alcohol.
I think it is normal for your family to be upset about him stealing drugs.
Also, you should NOT trust him at this point, something would be wrong if you did trust him.
You are hurt right now, you are shockd, you are coming to grips w/your AH doing something terrible, give yourself some time before you make any rapid decisions, etc. Try to take it one minute at a time, one day at a time.
It might be more helpful for your AH to see an addictions counselor by himself right now. They would konw more how to help him and also it would be good for you to see a counselor as well.
Oh and dont' forget about Alanon. People there are very nice/understanding. I was nervous to go the first time, but everyone was very welcoming, supportive, etc.
I think it is normal for your family to be upset about him stealing drugs.
Also, you should NOT trust him at this point, something would be wrong if you did trust him.
You are hurt right now, you are shockd, you are coming to grips w/your AH doing something terrible, give yourself some time before you make any rapid decisions, etc. Try to take it one minute at a time, one day at a time.
It might be more helpful for your AH to see an addictions counselor by himself right now. They would konw more how to help him and also it would be good for you to see a counselor as well.
Oh and dont' forget about Alanon. People there are very nice/understanding. I was nervous to go the first time, but everyone was very welcoming, supportive, etc.
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