He's going into rehab tomorrow
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
I thought about him sneaking his cell phone in. He's pretty sneaky.
If I call them and tell them that he has a cell phone on him and they take it from him, he's gonna be SO p***** and yell and blame me again to his family and I will just go through what I just went through last week.
AND, it may make him skip out of rehab cuz he just went in and if he thinks he can't get a hold of me, he may become paranoid again and just leave the rehab and then ........oh, that'll be a mess.
I feel like "damned if I do, damned if I don't" because I'm seriously thinking about calling the rehab place, but also thinking of the results that may happen.
I'm stuck.
If I call them and tell them that he has a cell phone on him and they take it from him, he's gonna be SO p***** and yell and blame me again to his family and I will just go through what I just went through last week.
AND, it may make him skip out of rehab cuz he just went in and if he thinks he can't get a hold of me, he may become paranoid again and just leave the rehab and then ........oh, that'll be a mess.
I feel like "damned if I do, damned if I don't" because I'm seriously thinking about calling the rehab place, but also thinking of the results that may happen.
I'm stuck.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
If he is serious about recovery, he will stay. If he's not serious, then it won't work anyway. Neither is your responsibility.
If he yells, blames you, leaves rehab, or ANYTHING ELSE, then those are his reactions to own.
If you tell them about the phone, you are doing it to protect yourself. That is a very different prospect than trying to rescue him. Rescuing yourself is allowed, you know.
If he yells, blames you, leaves rehab, or ANYTHING ELSE, then those are his reactions to own.
If you tell them about the phone, you are doing it to protect yourself. That is a very different prospect than trying to rescue him. Rescuing yourself is allowed, you know.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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I just called the rehab place and asked if the patients were allowed to have their cell phones and the faculty member said "Yeah, they can keep their cell phones while they're in here."
I told him that this person has been texting me all the time...even up until 12:47a.m. and asked the person "how is that gonna help him focus on his therapy when he's focusing more on trying to get a hold of me?"
He said "Well, yeah. I could see your point. But, there's nothing we can do about it. Sorry!"
AH!!! What kind of rehab is that?
I told him that this person has been texting me all the time...even up until 12:47a.m. and asked the person "how is that gonna help him focus on his therapy when he's focusing more on trying to get a hold of me?"
He said "Well, yeah. I could see your point. But, there's nothing we can do about it. Sorry!"
AH!!! What kind of rehab is that?
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
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Bloody hell!! What a joke!
Right, you've done one thing to help yourself. Onto the next one. I still get texts from my ex, 7 months on. In fact I got one tonight. I know how painful they are. I used to get into so much turmoil about them and they seriously disturbed my wellbeing. I did everthing I could to get him to stop. The only thing that has worked is to ignore them. Never reply. Ever. It is part of the game. I would go as far as to say don't read them, just delete them straight away. Delete the voice mails as soon as you know it's from him. I have to read the texts as I am in business with my ex and they may be about work, but if they aren't, I delete them straight away and don't give them another moments thought. I switch my phone off outside business hours.
What he is doing is what we call quacking. (if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck....). He is trying to suck you back in so that things can go back to how they were and he doesn't have to face up to his own problems.
Be strong. Post here if you feel weak. You deserve better than to babysit a grown man.
Right, you've done one thing to help yourself. Onto the next one. I still get texts from my ex, 7 months on. In fact I got one tonight. I know how painful they are. I used to get into so much turmoil about them and they seriously disturbed my wellbeing. I did everthing I could to get him to stop. The only thing that has worked is to ignore them. Never reply. Ever. It is part of the game. I would go as far as to say don't read them, just delete them straight away. Delete the voice mails as soon as you know it's from him. I have to read the texts as I am in business with my ex and they may be about work, but if they aren't, I delete them straight away and don't give them another moments thought. I switch my phone off outside business hours.
What he is doing is what we call quacking. (if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck....). He is trying to suck you back in so that things can go back to how they were and he doesn't have to face up to his own problems.
Be strong. Post here if you feel weak. You deserve better than to babysit a grown man.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hey Girlfriend,
There are other trips you can be taking. Don't let him send you on a guilt trip. And that includes his family. He's got to blame it on someone and unfortunately it happens to be you. Like Minnie said, ignore him. He'll find someone else.
There are other trips you can be taking. Don't let him send you on a guilt trip. And that includes his family. He's got to blame it on someone and unfortunately it happens to be you. Like Minnie said, ignore him. He'll find someone else.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
I am so mad right now!! I cannot for the life of me understand how someone is supposed to get rehab-ed if he can still call his ex and taunt her!!!
He called just a bit ago, I didn't recognize the #, answered it and it was him and I just went OFF!
I know I shouldn't have probably, but I did. I told him that I'm not a part of his world anymore and to leave me alone. He got mad and told me that I probably have "another boyfriend by now and am sleeping with him" and to leave him alone.
I can't function like that every day.....getting texts and now CALLS from him. I'm gonna change my number. That's it. There's no other choice. In order for me to get some peace within, I've got to get away from it all together.
When I knew he was in rehab, I was so relaxed and much better. But then,......he starts texting me! He's obsessed and I can't feed into this.
I cannot tell you how much you've helped me............expecially today because I'm freaking out somewhat, but I know that he has to give up sooner or later. PLEASE GOD!
He called just a bit ago, I didn't recognize the #, answered it and it was him and I just went OFF!
I know I shouldn't have probably, but I did. I told him that I'm not a part of his world anymore and to leave me alone. He got mad and told me that I probably have "another boyfriend by now and am sleeping with him" and to leave him alone.
I can't function like that every day.....getting texts and now CALLS from him. I'm gonna change my number. That's it. There's no other choice. In order for me to get some peace within, I've got to get away from it all together.
When I knew he was in rehab, I was so relaxed and much better. But then,......he starts texting me! He's obsessed and I can't feed into this.
I cannot tell you how much you've helped me............expecially today because I'm freaking out somewhat, but I know that he has to give up sooner or later. PLEASE GOD!
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
He's obsessed and I can't feed into this.
I know how tough this is - it took me ages to figure this out. If I've helped you get there a bit quicker, then I'd be delighted.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Depends on how strongly you feel at the moment, but if it were me and I was in your shoes and had the feelings and thoughts you're having, I'd report him to the rehab center. His actions are definitely detrimental to his recovery. I would think that if the counsellors knew what he was doing, he'd get in trouble.
If he calls again and you answer, hang up.
If he calls again and you answer, hang up.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
God bless your heart!
I just changed my cell #. IT's a hassle to change my business cards and contacts, but MORE of a hassle getting texts from him every day.
If he busts out of rehab.....because he's paranoid of where I am......that's on him. Then, he'll get arrested and put in jail for 9 months.
Thank you!
I just changed my cell #. IT's a hassle to change my business cards and contacts, but MORE of a hassle getting texts from him every day.
If he busts out of rehab.....because he's paranoid of where I am......that's on him. Then, he'll get arrested and put in jail for 9 months.
Thank you!
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
What a joke is right ...... doesn't sound like a very serious rehab to me, but what do I know.
There are many alcoholics who will just go into rehab to sober up then leave and go right to the bar. It's a vicious cycle and I hope girlfriend that you will not jump on the ride.
Unbelievable, but then again I don't know why I am so surprised. I guess I am more surprised about the rehab than your friends alcoholic behavior, that doesn't surprise me in the least and I hope to God you don't consider being his girlfriend.
There are many alcoholics who will just go into rehab to sober up then leave and go right to the bar. It's a vicious cycle and I hope girlfriend that you will not jump on the ride.
Unbelievable, but then again I don't know why I am so surprised. I guess I am more surprised about the rehab than your friends alcoholic behavior, that doesn't surprise me in the least and I hope to God you don't consider being his girlfriend.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
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YES, Minnie!! Go to Bed! 
Hee hee.....I'm 45! I could be the "mom", but you guys did a tremendous job helping me out. You didn't have to do that, but you did and I can't thank you enough!
You all are thee best.
Hee hee.....I'm 45! I could be the "mom", but you guys did a tremendous job helping me out. You didn't have to do that, but you did and I can't thank you enough!
You all are thee best.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
oh god,,do we have to start telling our ages now,,,,I know Im supposed to work an honest program, butttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt???
congrats on changing the cell phone number, very healthy of you!
congrats on changing the cell phone number, very healthy of you!
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