ellima01

As most of you already know that have read my prior posts- my AH is out of control.
He is up to a fifth a day and crack every day. He was suposed to be in his brother's wedding last Sat- and of course just didn't show. i am so pissed at him- and his whole family is not speaking to him over it.
My issue is that last night he said he wanted help. Said he needed detox- that he was not going to go through withdrawl again. I understand all that, my problem is this, I have been through absolute HELL with this man since Sat. when he missed that wedding- I am sick of his exuses and his adbuse.
He wants detox- but not rehab- he says the 12 steps are not for him. I don't know if I should help him find a place to detox or not. I have heard this crap so many times before- and I am so angry right now.
Should I help him???
Ellima01

minnie

Is there any reason why he can't get the information for himself? Or at least make the calls if you give him the numbers?

FriendofBill

My answer would be no.

He wants the temporary solution (Detox) to ease the crappy way he feels, then let him find it on his own.

Any "help" from you would be enabling, in my humblest opinion. For yourself, detach at once. A crack addict on a run is dangerous. To expect him to be at the wedding is way too much to ask of such an addict.

Be safe, take care of yourself, and let him get himself out of the hell he has created.

walkingtheline

I agree.

My guess is he has a finger to dial with, a hand to hold the receiver and a voice to speak with.

Detox without rehab? Isn't that a house without a foundation--Guaranteed
to slide off the hillside.

You also said you were sick of the excuses and the abuse. Sounds to me like it's time to focus on you. Al-anon. Your circle of support. Leave him to his mess and focus on YOUR recovery.

nocellphone

Brilliant!

meli2005

Wow, does sound like you have been thru hell and back. That is great he says he wants help, but it doesn't sound to me like he wants all the work that is going to go w/recovery.


He can detox in a hospital I guess. But for the best effect a rehab center would be the most beneficial. Oh, it's so hard dealing w/these individuals, we have no control....