Lying.....

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Old 06-27-2005, 05:30 AM
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Lying.....

This weekend, my sister-in-law, who had taken psychology courses in college, pointed out some ways to identify if someone was lying to you.

I thought it was interesting, so I thought I'd share it with you (feel free to correct me if I'm remembering this wrong ).......


The left side of your brain is your creative side. If you are talking to someone and they look to the left, that person is trying to be creative (lying). ex..if I ask my AH what he did last night and he looks to his left, he's trying to think of an answer.

The right side of your brain is your memory. So if you are talking to someone and they look to the right, that person is recalling from memory (telling the truth).

If a person answers your question with a question - more than likely that person is lying (my AH use to do this ALL the time).

If a person repeats your question - more than likely that person is lying (he used to do that all the time too).

You know, I've come to this conclusion (which is a habit I'm still trying to break myself of), but if I don't ask a question, I won't have to worry about being lied to. I'll know the truth eventually.
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Old 06-27-2005, 05:48 AM
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that IS interesting Jessica, and relieves my mind too because so often when I am talking to people say for instance my counselor and recalling something to talk about it, I often look off into space and it IS toward the right! I had thought to myself before, after hearing that if people look away they are lying (but no right or left had been mentioned!) I thought to myself I hope it's not seeming I am lying....but it's true just like you said. And that's what I was doing just remembering, "seeing" it in my mind and talking about it.
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Old 06-27-2005, 08:19 AM
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hmmmm,i don't know.Most of what you say,ive done also.,and i wasn't lieing.When talking to another my eyes,would shift from one side to the other.I too have asked questions,because i was so nervous i didnt hear what they were saying.I use to be so ....shy....and inward to myself,i did most of what your posts,decribes...lol.Hope others didnt think i was giving them da gears..lieing to them....Oh,well....smile...Today im more self-confident,self-loving .Can look folks straight in their eyes,and i can hear them!!!.No longer shifting my nervous bod around...Of course im no longer,,that shy,interverted person today,that i once was...
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Old 06-27-2005, 09:11 AM
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Hmmmmm, I'm unsure about this too.

I'm a leftie...I do everything to my left! And I often repeat a question...two reasons...one, to make sure I heard it correctly and two, sometimes people ask things that frankly, I find not their business. I often respond with, "Did you really just ask me...whatever?

And a personal rant: As a leftie, I have heard my share of "evil left" references. For instance:

According to an older version of the Oxford Dictionary, the word left-handed has the following four meanings:
1. Having the left hand more serviceable than the right; using the left hand by preference.
2. Ambiguous, doubtful, questionable. Spurious in medical language.
3. Crippled, defective, awkward, clumsy, inapt; characterized by underhand dealings. (Obsolete)
4. Ill-omened, inauspicious, sinister. Of a deity: unpropitious.

This shows how the word "left" had been used as a negative adjective in the past. Although some of its derogatory connotations are considered obsolete, the prejudice on left and lefthandedness in the English language still exists. Let's look at the following entry in the famous Roget's Thesaurus:

Unskillfulness: clumsy, awkward, gauche, gawkish; stuttering... butter-fingered, "left-handed"....

Here are some phrases in the modern English language that shows negative view of left-handedness; you may have come across some of these in newspaper articles:

- a left-handed compliment means an insult.
- a baby from the left side of the bed means that the baby is illegitimate.
- a left-handed marriage is not a kind of marriage, but an immoral and adulterous sexual "liaison".
- a left-handed wife means mistress.
- a left-handed diagnosis is a wrong diagnosis.
- left-handed wisdom means a "collection of errors."
- a left-handed business means that the trade is somehow unlawful (betrayal, trading drugs, etc).
- homosexuals are sometimes described as "left-handed" or "bent to the left."
- the saying "he must have been baptized by a left-handed priest" is used to describe a particularly unlucky person.

So, whenever someone says something about "left" and something bad, I am automatically on defense!

Irene, climbing off her left handed soapbox now
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Old 06-27-2005, 10:16 AM
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Irene - you are too funny. I liked that last comment. You can get on your soap box anytime you want...especially when you find something offensive in any of my posts. (Although that was not the intent of my post, which I'm sure you know.)

I just found it very ironic how this seemed to be true in my situation - he always repeats my questions....I use to always think he was doing this because he wanted to make sure he heard me clearly, found out that IMO he was stalling...looking for an answer. Then I heard about this, which just confirmed what I was thinking.

AND he ALWAYS answered my question with a question......use to drive me nuts.

Just to clarify....the left side of the brain is the creative side, that does not necessarily mean if you look to the left you are lying, but if you look to the left you are being creative - I used the example of lieing b/c usually when a person lies, they are trying to be creative.
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Old 06-27-2005, 10:19 AM
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Oh please don't think I was saying it was offensive! It was interesting...I just hate the idea that left is always perceived as evil! hahaha
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Old 06-27-2005, 10:32 AM
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Originally Posted by walkingtheline
Oh please don't think I was saying it was offensive! It was interesting...I just hate the idea that left is always perceived as evil! hahaha
Shew....i would never want to offend anyone here. You are all like family to me
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Old 06-27-2005, 11:18 AM
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Walkingtheline I didn't realize as a lefty I was all those negative things ahhahaha.

My grandmother hated the fact I was left-handed.

Ngaire
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Old 06-27-2005, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
but if I don't ask a question, I won't have to worry about being lied to. I'll know the truth eventually.
Extremely profound words here, Jessica,,,,,you are too cool for school!
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Old 06-27-2005, 11:47 AM
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ok guys - i am also a lefty - and as lefty women - we are an even smaller distinct group!!!
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Old 06-27-2005, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
If a person repeats your question - more than likely that person is lying
Did that more times than I could count. It was a way of stalling for enough time to come up with something believable...


Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
I'll know the truth eventually.
...and that's what I was always afraid of.



And for the lefties...

sinister (si·nis·ter) (s[icaron]-nis¢t[schwa]r) [TA] [L.] left: a term denoting the left hand one of two similar structures, or the one situated on the left side of the body.

You guys are scaaaaaaaaary...
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Old 06-27-2005, 01:37 PM
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Signs of Lying:

Touching chin, or rubbing their brows.
Crossed arms or legs.
Playing with hair.
A line of perspiration on the brow if it isn't a warm day.
Saying "no" several times.
Continual denying of accusations.
Being extremely defensive.
Providing more information and specifics than is necessary or was asked for.
Inconsistencies in what is being shared.
Body language and facial expressions don't match what is being said such as saying "no", but nodding head up and down.
Smugness.
May place a barrier such as a desk or chair in front of self.
Uncommon calmness.
Unwillingness to touch spouse during conversation.
Being hesitant.
Slouching posture.
Rigidity or fidgeting.
Differing behaviors. Not acting in a usual fashion.
Unnatural or limited arm and hand movements.
Partial shrug.
Lack of finger pointing.
Unusual voice fluctuations, word choice, sentence structure.
Stalling the conversation by repetitive use of pauses and comments like "um" or "you know".
Lack of use of contractions. Prefers emphasizing "not" when talking.
Avoidance of eye contact, eyes glancing to the right, staring past you, or turning away from you while they are talking. However, some honesty experts, like Stan Walters, say that measuring eye contact isn't an effective tool in detecting deception.
Lack of many pronouns while talking

I found this while I was looking for one I heard about watching peoples pupils. Supposedly they get bigger when their telling the truth or smaller if they're not. Oh and you can tell whether they like you or not that way too. I always thought it was kind of funny though. I can't think of very many people who wouldn't get nervous if you stared that intently into their eyes. Most people would look the other way. Abf would think I lost it.
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Old 06-27-2005, 01:42 PM
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If a person answers your question with a question - more than likely that person is lying (my AH use to do this ALL the time).

If a person repeats your question - more than likely that person is lying (he used to do that all the time too).
Too weird mine does this ALL the time!!

And by the way my daughter is left handed and she is one awesome girl, very intelligent!!! She is a little strange sometimes though LOL
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Old 06-27-2005, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Aquiana
Signs of Lying:

*list snipped*
To quote a friend in AA: When it comes to active alcoholics, if their lips are moving, they're lying.

Now I know that's not always the case, but soooo many times..........

*sigh*
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Old 06-27-2005, 04:33 PM
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well, not to confuse anything, but the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body and vice versa. the right side of your brain is the creative side and the left side is the analytical side. so they say most creative people are using the right side of their brain more. they also say that women use both sides of their brain equally. however, men usually just use the left side of their brain and that is why they can focus on one thing and not notice everything going on around them. (it's also why they can't do more that one thing at a time-which is most frustrating to us multi-tasking women!) if they are lying then they are using the right side of their brain -and will be looking the opposite of the side of the brain they are using.
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Old 06-27-2005, 05:03 PM
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I'm a musician and a director of a department by trade. I *always* look to the left when I am a loss for words.

........and I ain't the liah, baby..........but it's true for those non-creative types......lol
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Old 06-27-2005, 06:26 PM
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I'm an artist, and I can definitely confirm that the creative side of the brain is the right side. Artists are frequently called "right-brainers." Now, being a right-brainer and a right-hander, I always look to the RIGHT whenever I have to think about an answer, whether I'm lying or not. I find it uncomfortable and unnatural to look upward and to the left.
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Old 06-27-2005, 06:40 PM
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As a lefty I've always heard that I owe the devil a day's work. And since I was no angel in my youth I've paid him back many times. I also like "since the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, left-handed people are always right". As far as lying to me I can barely get my AH to talk to me let alone lie to me. Of course he talks about normal daily stuff, but forget talking about his feelings. I'm starting to think he doesn't have any.
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Old 06-28-2005, 02:04 PM
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Growing up in my alcoholic family, I used to hear, "You can't bull$hit a bull$hitter", which I guess was supposed to dissuade me from lying. Yeah, riiiiiiight. Instead, having the sick mind that I have, it gave me a goal to shoot for: "Hmm... when I can get my lies past these people, I'll be, like, the World Champion Liar! Woo-hoo!!" Try putting that on a resume... : "Well, Mr. Smith, it says here you have absolutely no experience as an air-traffic controller... but that you can lie your a$$ off... Welcome aboard! How'd you like to be CEO?!? "

So I learned all the little tics that give away the lies, practiced real hard, and developed the ability to look a person straight in the eye and lie unblinkingly in their face. Some talent, eh? It really got me far...

I lied so much, I began to lose track of what the truth was myself. To this day, there are certain events I've talked about in my life that I'm not sure actually happened.

Toady I practice a program of recovery that asks me to live a life of rigorous honesty. I do the best I can and am now as honest as I know how to be. As a friend once put it, "I used to be a liar who might occasionally tell the truth; today, I'm an honest person who might occasionally lie".

Sometimes, in my professional life, I follow my signature with "L.C.M.S. (ret.)".

What's that stand for...?

Lie. Cheat. Manipulate. Steal.

Retired.
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Old 06-28-2005, 02:21 PM
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Years ago I lived in Columbia, SC and banked at C & S Bank. As a yankee, I had no idea what the C & S stood for. I asked the manager...who's name was (and yes! it was on his biz card) Bubba! With a straight face he said...
Cheat and Steal
lol. I think of him often when I realize someone is lying to me. I think the bank merged into another...and I think it actually stood for Citizens and Southern.
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