Aquiana

Well after doing pretty well at not doing anything stupid for a while, Abf finally went and blew it. He's been drinking all along but he's at least managed to keep some sort of control over it until this weekend. He went out Saturday night came home not too bad off but decided to stay up all night. I don't know how much he drank on Sunday, but with no sleep he might as well of had a case while I was at work.

So I came home and he's obviously quite bombed. So he says he wants to take our vehicle and go get some stuff for his lunch the next day. This is out of the mouth of a guy with 4 impaireds already. I said forget it obviously. The van is insured under my name so if I let him have it, I get in as much trouble as he does a fact he doesn't seem to give two cents about.

So throughout the next few hours he manages to break a glass which meant I got to sweep up all the little glass shards from all over the kitchen floor and he manages to break the seat off the toilet. I'm assuming he fell off of it. All I could think was, "Great, he finally made it to the toilet and now he breaks it."

I found out a couple of things though. One was that I am no longer afraid to have him arrested if need be. He insisted he was taking the van, even grabbed the keys and I told him if he did I was reporting it stolen. And you know what? I meant it. I'm not getting in trouble and having my insurance screwed up because he's being an idiot.

The second big one was in the A.M. on Saturday he was talking about us getting married. For one of the first times ever the first thing that went through my mind was that I didn't want to. I have no intention of marrying him until something gives and if it never does, we never do. That was even before yesterday's excitement.

So I'm telling him tonight he's not using the vehicle ever anymore. I don't trust him. I don't care if he says I'm treating him like a kid. I don't care if he says it's because I don't trust him that he does stuff. I just don't care whether he stays or goes. He knows where the door is, he can leave. I will report it stolen if he takes it, and I don't feel bad about that.

This isn't about my being angry today. I'm not angry... it's the way things are.

robina

You sound calm and sure of yourself, even though you are going through a lot of chaos. You made a good decision about the vehicle - let the police take care of it. You shouldn't have to worry about that.

Love and blessings to you.

Robin

GettingBy

I'm sorry but I wouldn't let him drive my van anyways. If you aren't on my insurance, you aren't driving my van. I wouldn't put my husband on my insurance until we were married. AND... my husband knows that if he gets a DWI, or any more speeding tickets... I'm going to drop him like a bad habit! LOL! No way am I going to pay to have a bad driver on my insurance. It has nothing to do with anger, like you said, "it's the way things are!"

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a perfect example of BOUNDARIES!!

P.S. Tell him he owes you a new toilet seat!!!

gelfling

Bet you feel pretty good after taking control of your life!!! You sound confident and very sure of yourself. Good work.

FormerDoormat

It sure is. You go, girl!