lurker saying hello
 

I have come here many times. Afraid to say anything. I have just read the threads and quietly left. I decided its time to come out of the quiet.
I am married to a alcoholic husband for 11 years. I am American/British(dual citizenships). I was in USA early this year. I unusually go for a two week period. I work at the local postoffice,handling post.
My husband is not a mean person. He just doesn't know when to quit his weekend drinking. It has gotten worse over the years. He will not say he has a problem. Just passes out and wakes up. Then he eats everything in the kitchen. I am not joking. When he is drinking his eating habits are terrible. He is not a big man. We do not have any children.
Just wanted to say hi.

Hi there, wishstar, and welcome. As you will have seen, this is wonderful place for support and advice. I'm glad you have overcome your fear - we are all in (or have been in) similar situations so you don't need to feel alone.

I hope you have done a lot of reading here, including the "sticky" and "power" posts at the top of this forum and the nar-anon one. You might have read what we call the 3 Cs - You didn't Cause it, you can't Control it and you can't Cure it.

Have you checked out al-anon meetings? They have been a great help to me in my recovery from the effects of someone elses alcoholism. As has the book "Codependent no more" by Melody Beattie. Also, the "Getting them sober" series have good advice in them too.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Love

Minnie
xxx

Minnie,thanks for welcome. No haven't been to AlAnon. I have read the power threads. They are very helpful. The description of 'codie' fits me perfectly. I think I am an enabler for my husbands drinking. He is a gentle,intelligent soul when he isn't drinking. But get a pint in him and he can change very quickly. I do love him and have no plans to leave him. Just wish he would slow down the ale and whiskey.

Welcome, Wish!

Many here live happy and productive lives with their A's. Alanon is for those who love or have loved an A. At meetings you can learn many ways to bring more joy and peace into your life.

You know nothing you do will change your husband's drinking habits. That is up to him. You can however change the way you react to his drinking and the behaviors he shows when drinking.

I'm so glad you overcame your fears. :bravo Sometimes our posts are zany, sometimes helpful and sometimes we're so off base someone has to drag us back into reality! We've all "been there" and some have "done that". Sharing helps others find ways to resolve their own quandries.

I hope we see more of you!

Wishstar...welcome. I am glad you finally joined us.

((Hugs))
JT

walkingtheline thank you for your welcom. You said,"Many here live happy and productive lives with their A's",that is exactly what I am looking for. Just looking for ways to accomplish this.
JT,thanks for welcome.
It is strange in a way to find such a forum.

Welcome WishStar!

This is a good place.... it helps me to realize that I'm not alone, and that there are other people out there who understand how I'm feeling.

There is a lot of wisdom here, and a lot of people who have been RIGHT where you are.

Again, we're glad you're here.

TBK

Ooooooooo..... you're gonna be so handy for translations!

Hi and I'm sure you'll love it here, it's a VERY friendly place.

Hello Wishstar!
Nice to have you here, looking forward to getting to know you :)

Jane
xxx

equus and bahookie,looking forward to getting to know you. Thanks for the welcome.

A Big Welcome Wishstar
 

I've not been here too long myself, and I read more than I post.
There's so much 'gold' to be found here:) I'm sure you'll find it too.
I have no intention of leaving my P either, and am continually looking for ways of coping with and improving our life together.
Do check out all the links posted by these guys, they are invaluable.
Glad you are here:wave:

Welcome, wishstar...

Some folks are unable to "slow down" their alcohol intake, and those folks are usually alcoholics. Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, powerful disease that affects mind, body and spirit--not just of the alcoholic, but of those who love them as well. It sounds like you are feeling some effects, and Al-Anon can help, as can the wonderful people on this site...

I hope you find some answers. Al-Anon has taught me that I can find "serenity and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not".

I wish you peace. Please keep coming back!

susane1408,thank you for welcome. Its nice to hear from other people who have the same situation as myself. Like you I am always continually looking for ways of coping with and improving our life together. Reason for coming here. I have read and still reading all the power threads and the past posts. There is so much information here. Its impossible to get through it all.
nocellphone,thank you for the web link. I have clicked on it and will do some research this evening. I have found that the alcoholic disease affects everyone who comes in contact with it. Finding peace and serenity in ones life is a big plus. Thank you all.

Welcome wishstar, I am new here and just wanted to say hi.

I know what you mean about the drinking and then eating, my ah has lost about 15+ lbs in the last couple months. He has gotten so skinny and is really looking old in the face. (people we know have said that to me)

Well I just wanted to say HI and I am seeing we are not alone as long as we can talk on the boards... I am finding alot of nice people here.

Take care and many blessings

welcome. It took me a while to realize my AH had a problem too.


I would keep talking to him about it. YOu might mention to him he needs to see a counselor (an addictions counselor is best) and see if he will go. Sometimes other people besides family have a better time getting others to realize they have issues.