speedyG

WELL WERE DO I BEGIN ????? I HAVENT BEEN IN A MEETING ROOM FOR A LONG TIME, MONTHS. I STARTED A NEW JOB 3 WEEKS AGO. AND MY FATHER-INLAW JUST PASSED AWAY IN JAN 05.
MY A HAS STARTED DRINKING MORE SINCE HIS DAD PASSED. HE IS A CHILD EMOTIONALY, HE PUTS UP WALLS SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIS EMOTIONS. BUT THIS REALY HURT HIM. AND NOW HE DRINKS A LITTLE MORE EVERY DAY.
THIS NEW JOB IS TERRIBLE. IT IS SO HARD FOR ME TO GET THREW A WORK DAY WITH ANY SANITY. THAN I HAVE TO COME HOME AND DEAL WITH HIM. I AM BACK SLIDING, ALL THE STINKEN THINKING IS COMING BACK. I SNAP, GIVE DIRTY LOOKS AND YOU KNOW THE DRILL.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS RUN AWAY FROM IT ALL. I TRY SO HARD TO REMEMBER WHY I LOVE HIM AND WHY I SHOULD STAY WITH HIM.
BOY IS IT HARD!!!!! THAN I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HIM GETTING PICKED UP AGAIN FOR A DUI. THIS TIME HE WILL SIT IN JAIL. I WOULD LOVE TO JUST SELL MY HOUSE WITHOUT HIM KNOWING AND MOVING FAR AWAY .
AM I CRAZY??? IM I A BAD PERSON ????
[MY GIVE A _AMN IS BUSTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAN WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO GO TO A MEETING, HE GOT ALL CRAPPY.
HE HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THEM 6 MONTHS AGO. BUT I KNOW IT MAKES HIM REALIZE I AM GOING CAUSE HE IS AN A.
WELL I NOW I NEED TO FIND A NEW JOB, MAYBE IN A NOTHER STATE HA HA. AND GET TO MEETINGS.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT :bitch , I NEED THAT . I CAN FEEL THE STRESS IN MY SHOLDERS SLIPPING AWAY A LITTLE. AND I KNOW I HAVE TO SEE ALL THE GOOD THINGS IM MY LIFE.
I HOPE EVERY ONE HAS A GREAT DAY !!! I KNOW WHEN I GET UP TOMMAROW I WILL AT LEAST START THE DAY IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND AND WITH THE HELP OF GOD AND ALL OF YOU HERE AND IN THE ROOMS IM SURE I WILL GET THREW IT ALL.

meli2005

YOu are under a tremendous amt of respect. Living with an alcoholic is tremendously hard on the spouse, watching them destroy themselves nad cover up pain w/alcohol. Then you have a job you don't like, ugggh. It's okay to be stressed. We understand. Hope you can find a new job soon.

queenofthehwy

Not at all!!! I feel the same way!!!

((((((((hugs)))))))
love
Mindi

bluester

speedyG,know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way...too! Vent any time. It does help.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

speedyG

Thanks All,
You Know How It Is , Sometimes You Just Think Your Alll Alone In This Problem. And That No One Has Been There. I Know This Is A Great Place To Come To , Vent , Talk, Get And Give Encuragement And It All Helps.
Again Thanks For You Thoughts, Its A New Day , And Your Thoughts Help Me Get Off To The Right Foot, One Day At A Time ,and I Can Make My Day As Good As I Choise To.

FriendofBill

Herein lies the problem.

Herein lies the solution!

cwohio

speedy - welcome back and we hear ya loud and clear! we are human - as long as we learn to let go of those feelings at some point and continue working our recovery.

martha B

Boy Can I Relate. My Husband Retired Feb 2005 And Still Hasn't Found Another Job. He Has To So We Can Live. He Calls Me At Work 3 Or 4 Times A Day And Just Talks About How Bad He Feels And How He Is Trying To Find A Job. He Is Trying To Get A Job Driving Semi's But Companies Don't Like Dui's.
When I Get Home He's Hateful Especially If He's Drinking And Most Of The Time It Is Everyday. He Gets Drunk A Couple Days Of The Week And Then He Harrass Me Verbally. I Get So Sick Of It. I Tell You Running Away Sounds Wonderful. I'm Having A Hard Time.

speedyG

THANKS, YOU ALL KNOW I HAVE THE ANSWER IF I JUST LISTEN TO ME. BUT I GUESS I JUST NEED TO HERE IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
SO I WENT BACK TO A AL-ANON MGT. I JUST FELT THIS SENCE OF SECURITY. I WENT BACK TO MY HOME GROUP AND THEY ALL WERE SO HAPPY TO SEE ME. AND MADE ME FEEL AT HOME. JUST LIKE THEY NEW I NEEDED THEM. I GET A LOT FROM HERE, THIS IS A GREAT PLACE !!!!! :great
BUT I GUESS SOME TIMES YOU JUST NEED THAT HUMAN TOUCH YOU CAN ONLY GET IN PERSON. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR FEED BACK AND INCOURAGEMENT IS JUST WHAT I NEED