Brother w/fractured head & ribs & tied down in hospital for withdrawls!! HELP
 

Quick, I need advice!!! I have no idea what to do!!
My brother Brad is in Hawaii hospital since last Thursday. He's 49, a painting contractor and a life-time drinker. He lives in CA, he just got to Hawaii to work on a resort there. He had a seizure on top of a two story ladder, fractured ribs and split his head open.
His wife here in CA has kicked him out, mom is very ill, and I'm the only one who can attempt to help from CA. He's broke, hurt and now jobless.
Brad has been restrained: hands and feet in the ICU. The nurses say he is having a hard time with alcohol withdrawls. I talked with him yesterday and he was babbling like an idiot (7th day). Great! Why are they drugging him up so much?

Anyone have information on whether a rehab treatment will take him in if he does not have a permenant island address? He has no money. And how would I go about that process?

He has no where to go if he comes back to Orange County, he completely burned all his bridges here.
:bigcry

I'm in a quandry about what the steps are BEFORE rehab. Personally, I think he should go through this part all by himself. I'm upset at him because his problems have become my problems-AGAIN, I feel sorry for him that his brain has been mushed by paint fumes and then I feel sad for him and try to tell him that God is holding his hand and walking with him. I tell myself, that God is holding my hand too during this time of despair.

I'll check back on Monday to see if anyone has responded.
Please email me if you have any ideas of what I should do!

HI,
I don't have advice really on how to help him. All I can figure is that he is in a hospital and that is exactly where he needs to be. They will watch him closley and know the effects of alchohol withdrawal. He is in good hands...

I hope some others come along soon to help. Do check back, this is a great support board and likley you need support as much as he does.

Others will be along soon with input.
Welcome to Sober Recovery. You are both in Gods hands.... I will say a prayer for you both too.

((((Bro)))

I think it is up to him to get his act together. If you go take care of him that is the same as saying you don't think he is competent enough to take care of himself and he probably will act accordingly...

Most hospitals have social services offices, or can connect you to a county or state agency. I suggest you start there. Let the experts talk to your brother. If he's a danger to himself and society, they'll get him placed. If he is not but expresses a desire to get clean and sober, they may be able to help him as well.

HE has to want it. HE has to take some steps. You're right in my opinion, God WILL hold his hand. But your bro has to want to be led.

I will pray you find some peace in your heart.

This happens sometimes with alcoholics when they are withdrawing. Some have an easier time than others do. He is probably combative toward the nursing staff and that is why his feet/hands are restrained.


I'm a nurse, so I konw all about this. He is probably getting something like Valium IV or Ativan IV for his withdrawals.

I hope he gets better soon. He's at high risk for getting pnuemonia being bedridden, etc.

You can talk to a case manager or social worker at the hospital, they should be able to help you with some resources for him, like alcohol rehab, etc.

Sounds like a really bad situation. Sorry you are having to get involved again.

Leave it to the professionals to take care of his detox needs. We are not medically trained to know what he needs, they are.Trust the process. He is getting the help he needs.

Pray for him, and may I suggest attending al-anon to better understand how you can best help him, and you.

Keep coming back!

Thanks for your support! Update: Spoke with my brother yesterday, he is being released from the hospital tomorrow. He says that he does not want to go to a rehab facility because he just went through rehab in the hospital! DENIAL! The crazyness continues. He still thinks he has a wife to go back home to and a job in Hawaii. He also says that he is a drinker, but is not an alcoholic. Well Then! Last week I would be freakin out and trying to save him. Hmmm... the power of education....

With all the information and support I have received it comes down to NOT being an enabler. Can't help an adult alcoholic. I have all the rehab numbers and AA meeting schedules and a shrink's number just in case he relizes that having your head in the toilet is not a way to live. Let's just pray he gets help before he starts his usual "suicide babbling", "pity party" and the "world is out to get me" attitude.

Thanks again! I can finally 'Let Go' and sleep at night.

Your brother has his own life... leave him to it! You can not save him from himself.