AkiraAten

Hi I am new here just wanted to get some information from here I am a wife with an alcholic husband which he just started to goto AA meetings 10 days ago. I have been to 4 of his meetings with him and I am trying my hardest to support him in doing this. Its a hard situration to have to deal with this and now I know there are others out there that are dealing with the same sort of issues that I am dealing with. The Anger, the bitterness, and the feeling that he may go back to doing it again comes to mind this is only the beginning for everyone. I am looking for other wives out there that are going through the same thing as I am right now. I am glad that AA and Al anon has no problem working with people who have a different religion because I am a Pagan in Ohio and I am helping our community around my area to have a better understanding of other Earth religions other then just Paganism such as Egyptian Paganism is my main study and I have a very good understanding of my choice is path walking. I was hoping that there are other Pagans or anyone who is going through this with there spouse also, who maybe on this list that are willing to talk with me in email please I would very greatful.
Thank you and blessed be
AkiraAten

eddie z.

Welcome to SR!!

Sounds like you may want to have a look at the Spirituality & Spiritual Growth forum, in addition to this one. It's pretty cool! Maybe I'll see you there. Take care!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

CarolD

Hi...

I suggest you read the AA Big Book..there is a chapter
'To The Wives' you might find interesting.

susane1408

Hi Akira,

You'll find lots of good advice here on these boards, so stick around and talk about anything thats on your mind.
Some post a lot, some post a little but we all understand.
You're among friends here.
Welcome!

eddie z.

Oh, Carol reminded me. Bill's Story and We Agnostics from the Big Book, and Step Two of the Twelve and Twelve are good reading too. They give a good idea of how flexible AA is when it comes to the individual's concept of a Higher Power. I'm not familiar with the Al-Anon literature though, but I'm sure it's based in the same principles.

Love and hugs,
Eddie

AkiraAten

Thank you so much for the welcome everyone I am lerking around on both familys and friends and also the spiritualism part of the forum since I am happy to find other people out there who are on a different spiritual path. I am going to goto an AA meeting tonight with my husband I seen one last night it was a very good one because he talked about putting blame on everyone else but the person who is hurting them selves. My husband already done that sort of put the blame on me said he would never do it again that he was feeling guilty over everything so hopefully he has learned something from this guy talking last night. The pain is being felt alot from me at this moment its a hard situration to even consider seeing someone that you love go through this pain and suffering for so long and then wakes up one day and says hey I have a problem and I am willing to work on it now. I think after this healing process I think I would like to be a consolar to help others in need that will be in my position at this point it would do some other people good out there to help those in need. I catch myself still crying even now at this point writing this I am sort of crying but its a good to get my feeling out and instead of holding them in all the time.
I am glad that I am not alone in this that there are other going through or that are going through this with me.
Thank you again for listening

eddie z.

You're welcome! Thank YOU for sharing! I'm sorry you are hurting right now. Are you going to many Al-Anon meetings for YOUR recovery? I know that when my husband and I got into recovery we had to go to separate meetings and each develop our own foundation in recovery and our own individual program. I have found the more I work on myself and let him work on himself, the better WE are. Does that make sense?

You're both in my thought and prayers!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

splendra

(((AkiraAten)))

Welcome to sober recovery. I want to co sign eddie's note on going to alanon meetings and let him go to AA. I think it is good that you want to support your H but, the f&f go through differnt things form having that front row see on their stuff. You need your own recovery program.

CalGal

I'd just like to get over the anger I feel. Anger for watching him slowly find another family (AA) --seeing him less and less because of meetings, speaking at them---going to conferences--yes I need Al-Anon but am I the only one that feels bitter? After months of trying to get him to get help and then him finally doing it--now it's like--see ya later--my support is at my meeting--with my sponsor--or at three day conferences--and when I ask if he has to go to yet another meeting--he says--you want me sober don't you? What am I supposed to say---of course I want him sober--but I guess in my denial I thought it would help our relationship--I just see him less and less--and when we do talk I hear it all--not so much as a "how are you doing honey"? Just-----maybe I should have just left when he was on the bathroom floor puking his guts up and threatening to kill himself--but no--I stayed like the enabler I am and where did it get me. Seven months later--and now all this compassion has turned to bitterness. Yes--I think I do need help.

eddie z.

I seriously doubt it. ((((CalGal)))) I was waiting for someone else to see your question actually. My husband and I each have our own recovery program and I find that as we work on ourselves separately, we improve our relationship. So I can't say that I'm in the bitter camp although I still sympathize with your feeling abandoned.

Maybe you should check out Al-Anon because in "The Program" we learn to take care of ourselves and to take responsibility for ourselves and our feelings instead of being victims. Who knows, you might get so involved that he starts to feel left out! Just kidding. But seriously, I have learned to maintain an attitude of gratitude today through the Twelve Step Program and I am grateful for having that Program in my life and for my husband having it in his.

I wish you both all the very best of recovery!
Love and hugs,
Eddie

AkiraAten

I will be going to some Al anon meetings on my days off since my husband goes to meetings in the evenings because how he works. I work early in the day so by the time I get home meetings are not going on around where I live until 8pm which is the same time my husband goes to AA meetings. I will be going ot my first Al anon meeting Wednesday at 10am in Canton where I live so I am a bit nervous but I undertand that I need to get my own help also to understand this and to recover in my own way.

robina

The nice thing about Alanon is that it is a spiritual program, but the God is a Higher Power of your own understanding. This means you don't have to be a Christian or read the bible to make Alanon work for you. I find that part of it very comforting as I have been on a spiritual quest for years. I have explored many different spiritual paths.

Robin

eddie z.

AkiraAten,
Let us know how that meeting goes and how you are doing, OK?

Hey, Robin!!

Emhotep,
Eddie