Hi Visitors! come on in we don't bite
 

:wave: :wave: I've been noticing lots of visitors (up to 600 this morning)

Just noticing we have lots of guests! Please feel free to post ANYTHING you want..We are a friendly group..

some of us are more verbatious then others but we are all glad you are here..

Many of us have been through the questions, pain and frustration that you are probably experiencing..

There are alot of solutions and experience strength and hope.

hope you will stay around.

Yeah, come on in, y'all!

I,too, have been noticing all these "guests." What's up with that? LOL. Thanks for the post, Minx!!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

Hi I just don't know where to turn anymore, my dh. has a dwi and is on probation the p.o. told him he had to go to a certain councelling program in the area he went faithfully also to his probation appointments very much hardship on us as we have no car or bus service, anyways his councelor went on vacation with no appointment for dh. we called numerous times for appt. with no response fron councelor. Dh. gets called into court and probation officer states he has violated his probation, po knew what was going on as he even told dh that councelor may have dropped him, thats all that was said nothing about finding another place. Now po. told judge that he recommends jail due to violation, What are we to do when the officials lie like that. I hope you understand this as I am no good at expressing myself online. Please give me any ideas on what to do as we have to go back to court in 2 mos. thank you in advance.

It made sense to me except I don't know what "dh" means. Doesn't the counselor or PO have a superior you could go to? I don't know anything really about the NY courts, but it just seems like these people have to have a boss somewhere, you know? And there should be documentation of dh's attendance in his program, too. I wish you both the very best!

Love and hugs,
Eddie :warning:

Thank you for the reply. I am calling the probation office this morning. dh=dear husband sorry. po=probation officer. I have never been so mad as I was comming home from court last night after all of this. I thought I could trust these people. I usually try to keep a hands off attitude when it comes to my husbands drinking problem but I just cannot leave this one alone as I feel it is not right. again thanks for being here for me to vent. Dar

Dar,

My initial reaction to your post is to say, "All things for a reason." Maybe there is a reason that the counselor dropped your husband, maybe he (your husband) wasn't really putting in the effort he needed to be. Maybe the system is working? Maybe jail time (as hard as it may be for both of you) is what your husband needs right now. I know it's hard to detach from the situation, but maybe the PO, the counselor, and the courts are seeing something that you aren't/can't right now. Maybe the PO didn't tell your husband to find another counselor, because it's really your husband's responsibility to keep himself in counselling? I don't know. I can completely relate to your frustrations with the situation, but maybe it's time to detach and let the courts do their thing.

Take what you like and leave the rest,
Shannon (I'm also in NY and know how tough the courts can be, especially about DWIs)

P.S. I don't think YOU should be the one calling your husband's PO. That's doing for you husband what he SHOULD be doing himself (AKA enabling)

I signed up yesterday. I have a 16 year old daughter who is working a recovery program. It's been hard on all of us, but we are very involved in her recovery. It's been a learning experience for all of us. And we are moving forward slowly, but we are moving forward. We know it will be a long slow battle, but we are equiping ourselves with the tools needed for success.

One day at a time, one step at a time!

You're welcome, Dars00!! Also, are you going to any Al-Anon meetings for yourself?

bosetech,
WELCOME TO SR!!! Thanks for sharing with us! You may also want to visit the Nar-Anon board here. It gets alot of traffic.

Love and hugs,
Eddie