Moving for a fresh start or to run away?
too much on my plate!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Moving for a fresh start or to run away?
I want to move back to the state I'm from. I will be closer to my son IF I ever get a chance to see him. The thought of moving and making a new start makes me happy. Although sometimes I don't know if I want to do this only to get out of this place and forget the memories XA and I shared.
I have wrote down all the pros and cons of moving, and I've given much thought to the cost of living here, which is very high, the pay is low, and I just don't care much for this area. On the otherhand I love my townhouse, and don't know if moving is to big of a step right now? Sometimes I feel as though I'm looking for a quick fix to forget the memories here.
I dunno, my decision is leaning more towards moving, if I can find an inexpensive place to live that will except pets. I have a tiny bit of savings still left, although I feel if I don't get out of here now, I will spend my savings to pay bills and will still be looking for a job here. So, using my savings to pay for the UHaul and a deposit on a new place will be better spent, and also a better chance at a good job for me.
Almost like opening a new chapter to my life.
Any thoughts or opinions?
Edited to add--Can you see me driving a huge UHaul with my car in tow; one dog, three Guinea pigs and two rats
thats kind of a scary thought!! hehe! 
I have wrote down all the pros and cons of moving, and I've given much thought to the cost of living here, which is very high, the pay is low, and I just don't care much for this area. On the otherhand I love my townhouse, and don't know if moving is to big of a step right now? Sometimes I feel as though I'm looking for a quick fix to forget the memories here.
I dunno, my decision is leaning more towards moving, if I can find an inexpensive place to live that will except pets. I have a tiny bit of savings still left, although I feel if I don't get out of here now, I will spend my savings to pay bills and will still be looking for a job here. So, using my savings to pay for the UHaul and a deposit on a new place will be better spent, and also a better chance at a good job for me.
Almost like opening a new chapter to my life.
Any thoughts or opinions?
Edited to add--Can you see me driving a huge UHaul with my car in tow; one dog, three Guinea pigs and two rats
thats kind of a scary thought!! hehe! 
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Seems as tho you are not being rash .
I also moved closer to a son..and have no regrets. Now that I can no longer drive or shop alone..he and his sons are a wonderful help. I did not plan to be blind but so grateful the guys are living close by.
IMO...Why Not?
I also moved closer to a son..and have no regrets. Now that I can no longer drive or shop alone..he and his sons are a wonderful help. I did not plan to be blind but so grateful the guys are living close by.
IMO...Why Not?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
fresh start or running away??? its actually both.
a fresh start in an area where your son is... wonderful
running far away from something painful and not of your control? wise
running away is not a bad thing. it just sounds like it is. we would run away from a fire, we would run away from a rapist....
a woman told me something last night that really made sense to me, she said we alanoners confuse fear with excitement. thats why we get into these situations.
what i thought was excitement.. was a wasp nest of bitterness and baggage not of my making... yet with stars in my eyes i stuck my hand in all the way to the elbow....lol
needless to say... thats why i am where i am right now.
run away if you have to... there is nothing wrong in making a choice for something healthy. dont let anyone tell you differently.
quietsins
a fresh start in an area where your son is... wonderful
running far away from something painful and not of your control? wise
running away is not a bad thing. it just sounds like it is. we would run away from a fire, we would run away from a rapist....
a woman told me something last night that really made sense to me, she said we alanoners confuse fear with excitement. thats why we get into these situations.
what i thought was excitement.. was a wasp nest of bitterness and baggage not of my making... yet with stars in my eyes i stuck my hand in all the way to the elbow....lol
needless to say... thats why i am where i am right now.
run away if you have to... there is nothing wrong in making a choice for something healthy. dont let anyone tell you differently.
quietsins
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
I "ran away" from a guy who was very verbally and sexually abusive to me, and it saved my life! I don't think of it as running away though! I was in the same boat as you, far away from home (friends & family) and as long as he had me isolated he could manipulate the hell out of me!
I packed my bags, loaded the car, and got the hell out of dodge! It was very liberating for me!
The only downfall?? I didn't take the time to straighten my head out and ended up in the arms of my husband and his drinking problems.
SO... my advice... MOVE AS SOON AS YOU CAN... but make sure that you take the time to heal YOU before you get involved with anyone new.
Funny story about my move... I had my kitty and all my plants in my little Eclipse as we drove from Texas to NY! It was quite a sight, I'm sure! I got pulled over somewhere in GA, I told the cop why I was on the road (I'm moving home to NY from TX and I have all I own including my cat in this car, my cat even meowed right on cue!) and the poor guy felt so bad for me! My cat has been my saving grace through so much turmoil. She is the perfect example of unconditional love!
Stay focused on you and all will work out well for you!
I packed my bags, loaded the car, and got the hell out of dodge! It was very liberating for me!
The only downfall?? I didn't take the time to straighten my head out and ended up in the arms of my husband and his drinking problems.
SO... my advice... MOVE AS SOON AS YOU CAN... but make sure that you take the time to heal YOU before you get involved with anyone new.
Funny story about my move... I had my kitty and all my plants in my little Eclipse as we drove from Texas to NY! It was quite a sight, I'm sure! I got pulled over somewhere in GA, I told the cop why I was on the road (I'm moving home to NY from TX and I have all I own including my cat in this car, my cat even meowed right on cue!) and the poor guy felt so bad for me! My cat has been my saving grace through so much turmoil. She is the perfect example of unconditional love!
Stay focused on you and all will work out well for you!
too much on my plate!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
Cute story gettingby!
I have no friends or family awaiting me if I choose to move;I just want to escape this place and finally get back to the area I used to live in.
Someday, I will choose to trust again and make some true friends.
I have no friends or family awaiting me if I choose to move;I just want to escape this place and finally get back to the area I used to live in.
Someday, I will choose to trust again and make some true friends.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Savana
I moved back home in March after splitting up with my ex A in December. I had been living away from my home town for 7 years and still had more friends still back home than where I'd moved to. There wasn't anything to keep me there. Besides, home is where my family is.
I needed to do it. I needed to make a fresh start. I needed to put distance between me and the ex. I needed to be back home. I wasn't running away from anything, I was running towards my future.
I am renting my dream house, my neighbours are lovely, my friends and family pop in and my brother is moving in tomorrow, so I won't be living alone anymore. I'd like to say that I left all the crappy feelings behind, but I can't. However, I am in a place where I can work through them in my own time and with loving support around me.
I say do it. What's the worst that could happen?
I moved back home in March after splitting up with my ex A in December. I had been living away from my home town for 7 years and still had more friends still back home than where I'd moved to. There wasn't anything to keep me there. Besides, home is where my family is.
I needed to do it. I needed to make a fresh start. I needed to put distance between me and the ex. I needed to be back home. I wasn't running away from anything, I was running towards my future.
I am renting my dream house, my neighbours are lovely, my friends and family pop in and my brother is moving in tomorrow, so I won't be living alone anymore. I'd like to say that I left all the crappy feelings behind, but I can't. However, I am in a place where I can work through them in my own time and with loving support around me.
I say do it. What's the worst that could happen?
too much on my plate!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: not kissing frogs anymore
Posts: 646
That sounds nice minnie, that you were able to go back to your home town. Like I said earlier, I have no friends or family there. I just for some reason feel drawn to go back to this town where I used to live.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 42
Sounds like your mind is moving more towards moving . It isn't running away, it is making a change, starting anew. Being closer to your son will be good for you, you said you have no other family there? If you have no connnection to where you are then why stay. You have your menagerie and the oppurtunity to reconnect with your child. Follow your heart and hope it leads to home...a place of peace, happiness and contentment.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
HP talking? My counsellor said to me when I was thinking of moving back "Sometimes we need to go back in order to move on". I think that clinched it for me.
And I wouldn't worry about the money thing - these things tend to work themselves out.
And I wouldn't worry about the money thing - these things tend to work themselves out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Great Britain
Posts: 138
Savana 54,you said..."opening a new chapter to my life"..says it. Life is to short to be in missery and pain. The oppurtunity to reconnect with your child is wonderful. I have just found that opportunity too! I want to be near my son. He is such a wonderful kid(28 years old..but still a kid to me). Like you I have no friends or real connections..here in UK. So I will be moving back to the USA later this year or early next 2006. Like Minnie said...."Sometimes we need to go back in order to move on". Now to start my recovery. Watch out AlAnon..here I come. Hope they don't mind an old lady.
Savana 54,like some one else stated....Follow your heart....find that place of peace, happiness and contentment. Will be thinking of you and know you are a inspiration to me.
Savana 54,like some one else stated....Follow your heart....find that place of peace, happiness and contentment. Will be thinking of you and know you are a inspiration to me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Hey Savanna,you know best...My memories stay with me,no matter where i go.A new place would help give me a tempory new out-look but it never lasted.For that saying wherever i go,there i am.The good news also is that no matter where i am,there is recovery programs,too.I can heal no matter where i live.
All the best of the best.
All the best of the best.
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