CodeMaster

Its always hard when people have such a hard time keeping their words, my exA always had a very hard time keeping anything she said that when she said she would do this or that, I finally started to doubt it and dont plan on it unless it actually happens.

Seems to be something very hard for an A to do, keep their words.

I remember very early in our dating times, she was so excited about a DJ coming to SF to perform, I bought tickets fro both of us. On the day of going, she seemed sooooooo down and angry I didnt understand it, but she suprised me a lot when she said she didnt want to go. I just found it suprising that we planned on going for so long, we were so excited about it and I even spent money on the tickets already only to throw it away. I just thought it was in her character to be flakey, but now I think back I know it was cause she ended up over drinking in secret somewhere alone the lines.

Or who knows, taking drugs. She did that quite some time, I remember if it wasnt ecstacy, she'd have her aunt's pain killers she'd hide. When I forced her to throw it down the toilet, it only seemed like she already got some more from someone else.

But one thing I noticed throuhg out our relationship and even post her sobriety, is how hard it was for her to keep her word.

I feel you Jessica, and no matter what, dont take it personally, its not really any disrespect to you personally, its just the way an A simply is.

Love always...

ASpouse

How true is that?

JessicaNAJ

CodeMaster - It is so easy to forget how an A is when they are sober. I need to post that up on my fridge or something so I never forget. He's so good at convincing me that he's a changed man. Quite frankly, the ONLY thing that has changes is that he's not drinking.

It's just the way an A simply is.......

GettingBy

Exactly!!!!!!!!! You boiled it down so beautifully!!! :bravo

JessicaNAJ

AND....this morning, when he wasn't there by 7:00 I didn't call. I didn't think about it. I didn't freak. I just told myself that I would just have to step it up and get out the door sooner. What a difference!!!

He called at 7:15 and said he was on his way. (He was probably wondering why his phone didn't show I called 5 times.)

GettingBy

That's great news Jessica!!! I'm really proud of you! Keep focusing on you!

Life with an addict isn't "fair" but that doesn't mean it has to be un-fun and miserable! I hope you have a great weekend!!

minnie

(((Jessica)))

And now he can take the responsibility of getting up on time. Or not. His choice.

Just because someone lays down their responsibilities, doesn't mean we have to pick them up.......

cwohio

jess - all right girlfriend - you are doing such a good job!!!!! code was right on!

JessicaNAJ

Yep - All his, not mine.

My responsibility is getting my kids to the sitter and school, and getting to work on time. I cannot rely on him to help me with MY responsibility. REMEMBER THAT JESSIE!!!

CodeMaster

Theres a quote somewhere in the large text contained in http://alcoholism.about.com that says you dont change your character just cause you stop drinking. They said, if you sent in a drunk horse thief to AA, he'd just come out a sober horse thief. hahaa

If interested by anyone, I can find the page that talks about it by request, it would be my pleasure as its easy for me to search on data.

FriendofBill

((((Jessica)))))))))

Big a$$ hugs for you for not calling and for getting yourself on the right track!

FYI...you taught YOURSELF this morning that you are able to care for yourself, your kids, and that you follow thru on your boundaries!! Im doing the happy dance for you right now!!!