meli2005

My husband went to treatment about two weeks ago. He left the treatment center after a week saying that he wanted to drink again. He also said he wanted to live separately so he could drink and to see if he still wanted to be married. Well, now he is in a hotel and he he is still drinking....

I am pondering what to do w/my own life which seems to be in a big mess not of my own making!!

He says he is sorry for everything. Hubby is very impulsive and I think this is one thing that leads him to drink. He doesn't seem to think about his actions and the consequences, etc.

He says he is still thinking about if he should quit drinking or not.

I am veyr angry with him for leaving us for alcohol. But I don't miss seeing him drunk in the mornings passed out on the floor or on the couch.

I am thinking about divorce, but it scares me too. I dont' see myself being able to handle much more of this fiasco, it is just too much for me right now and I have been trying to help him for a while and he has not been receptive.

It is like my head says to leave, but my heart hurts. I also feel very distant from him. He has hurt me greatly. I wonder if things could ever go back to being the same. Then there are the recovery issues for him and for me...

Anyone been thru this while contemplating divorce or leaving your SO?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Then I think even if he says he wants to get better, should I believe it? After all, he voluntarily went into the treatment center and then left against medical advice.

Just so much to think about. I have my one year old son to think about and his future. I am trying to think for the long term.

Minx1969

Meli,

I don't have experience with your particular situation but I've dated many alcoholics in my life..

Welcome to SR! I'm sure you will find lots of suggestions..Of course my first one is: Have you tried Alanon? you mentioned that you need recovery for yourself and Alanon is a great place to start..I've seen lots of women bring their babies to the meeting so don't let that be a deterant..

Good luck and keep posting.

minx

Cynay

Welcome to SR Meli, we are soooo glad you found us.

I would have to start with saying you dont have to make any decisions right now.

Right now you need help, you need to learn to trust yourself and know that your worth it and no matter what happens you will be ok, and so will your son. My suggestion is Al-anon, counceling. He has decided to give himself space... Take this time to really decided what YOU want... it does not have to be a divorce, maybe you just want to seperate until you have some time to think it all through and get some help... but you have choices.... never forget that

I have been a single parent basically since my daughter was 2. She is now almost 16... our lives are now calm, we are VERY close and though I personally dont think a single parent family is the BEST case for a child, I KNOW it is better then what I had to offer her with her father.... God works in the strangest ways... and that too will be ok.

Hang out, read, and know you will be OK. *hugs*

quietsins

hi meli,

find out who meli is.. what does she like? what does she envision her life to be in 1 year, 5yrs, 10?????

when you find that person.. the answer will be provided. God promises that.

quietsins

Luckyv2

Ok here we go experience, strength, and hope. I have been following you, well you know what I mean in your situation. I have a f2f to go to here pretty quick so I will try to get this on. In 2002 I got in trouble with possession of a controled substance. When I got out of jail I came straight home, the kids came out, the dog came out, but no wife came out. When I went into the house she said she didn't want me there. Had no where to go but I stayed in a place for three days this guy said I could stay there. After that he said I had to go, so I rented a motel room. My kids kept asking me when I was going to go to a meeting.l Finally I did and for all the wrong reasons. Now I am divorced since Aug of 2002 14 years of being with the woman I love. The reason I say I love because love never leaves. If it wasn't for her telling me she had enough, I probably would be dead right now. I don't know but she had a big part in my sobriety. If she would have let me stay, I probably would have never found AA or NA. Do you understand where I am coming from sometimes tuff love is the best love. If you want you can get ahold of me and I will try to tell you more but have to go to a meeting right now........... Take care of you no one else will