My love, hate relationship with alanon and AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Well since you all seem so upset that I spend my days wringing my hands over my husband. I do not. I work 7 days a week running my pet sitting business. When not working I trail ride on my horse with my wonderful girlfriends. I breed captive bred turtles and tortoises and send them all over the USA. I have a wonder 9 month old grandson that my husband and I adore. I get no more migraines thanks to Imetrix. I am known[you will find this hard to believe] as an extra tolerant person. My horse and I take many timid riders out on the trails. But I am also the person called on to right a wrong. dax
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Dax
I will respond once more, then I will leave your thread and let you accept or not accept the good support that people have offered here.
I just want you to know that I am neither obsessed with you, nor with AA. It is an individual's own choice whether to choose them as a road to recovery or choose something else that works for them. I wish them well either way.
I haven't attacked you Dax, and I'm sorry you see it that way. The thread that was removed was explained to you as kindly as I could, and I did not make that decision without consulting 4 other moderators here, okay?
I care about you and your pain, but obviously you don't welcome my support, so I will say a prayer for you and your husband and leave this thread and your problems entirely up to you and the others here.
I will withhold my hugs, they are offered freely by me to anyone feeling they need one. And I wish you nothing but good things in the days to come.
Ann
I will respond once more, then I will leave your thread and let you accept or not accept the good support that people have offered here.
I just want you to know that I am neither obsessed with you, nor with AA. It is an individual's own choice whether to choose them as a road to recovery or choose something else that works for them. I wish them well either way.
I haven't attacked you Dax, and I'm sorry you see it that way. The thread that was removed was explained to you as kindly as I could, and I did not make that decision without consulting 4 other moderators here, okay?
I care about you and your pain, but obviously you don't welcome my support, so I will say a prayer for you and your husband and leave this thread and your problems entirely up to you and the others here.
I will withhold my hugs, they are offered freely by me to anyone feeling they need one. And I wish you nothing but good things in the days to come.
Ann
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((dax))))
It does seem like you are pretty mad sometimes. I am sure your life does have more demention than just being angry all the time and the wringing your hands stuf too.
However, it does seem that you manage to express your venom towards the affair in a lot of your post. We all have our obcessions I guess. I know I have my problems too. I constantly push the envelope and often do post where nobody replies. I am a pain in the butt and so are you and so is everybody else from time to time.
The woman that my H did his thing with is dying of cancer and I personally after reading one of you angry post have startred thinking really bad thoughts to the OW that I get to think about. I don't want to do that cause she is sick and I know my thoughts have power. Your words have power too.... I really do want to pray for her and be over my stuff and it is real difficult when I read your stuff about it because my ego seeks ugliness cause that is what egos do. My wound keeps getting reinfected by the infection in the power of your words.
You are a pretty good writer....
We are here to support one another and call eachother on our:bs: I personally would like to hear more about the people you meet and what you read about and the good things that are going on with you. Give us more than just your anger. That's what I need and want from you.
It does seem like you are pretty mad sometimes. I am sure your life does have more demention than just being angry all the time and the wringing your hands stuf too.
However, it does seem that you manage to express your venom towards the affair in a lot of your post. We all have our obcessions I guess. I know I have my problems too. I constantly push the envelope and often do post where nobody replies. I am a pain in the butt and so are you and so is everybody else from time to time.
The woman that my H did his thing with is dying of cancer and I personally after reading one of you angry post have startred thinking really bad thoughts to the OW that I get to think about. I don't want to do that cause she is sick and I know my thoughts have power. Your words have power too.... I really do want to pray for her and be over my stuff and it is real difficult when I read your stuff about it because my ego seeks ugliness cause that is what egos do. My wound keeps getting reinfected by the infection in the power of your words.
You are a pretty good writer....
We are here to support one another and call eachother on our:bs: I personally would like to hear more about the people you meet and what you read about and the good things that are going on with you. Give us more than just your anger. That's what I need and want from you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 346
I can relate to a lot of your feelings here. My AH has had an emotional affair with "things" since 1 week after we got married -- mainly his house -- which was also his ex's house for 1 year before their divorce. I spend most of my days the most beautiful of people -- kind, caring, loving, giving, loyal, honest, trustworthy........
People who know me publically and privately will tell you that I am wonderful -- and I am. My AH has spent 8 years degrading that person and then telling others that I am really not what they see. These are people who have known me for years. They think he's full of sh*t and have now made it known that my life is worth more than this -- which I know. I have found good things and bad things about AA. I think my AH looks forward to going so he can be the class clown. His therapist sees his dry drunk behavior and is trying to change it but, but, but, but, but.....
Most days I am fantastic and love myself and all of my faults. Sometimes, like this past week, his "old life" comes in and has beaten me over the head before I have even seen it coming. Then the old ugly me shows up because the scar has been cut open once again. For, as long as AH doesn't acknowledge what he's doing/did was wrong, there is no way for him to fix it. If he doesn't fix it, I can't trust him. If I can't trust him, the hurt stays as a reminder to not travel that road with him.
I understand what you are saying, Dax. I have no problems with it as I, too, have posted about "effing counseling" more than once. My feeling is that it is better to get out what ails you here - regardless of the method -- because that's the only way we begin to heal.
That's my two cents.
People who know me publically and privately will tell you that I am wonderful -- and I am. My AH has spent 8 years degrading that person and then telling others that I am really not what they see. These are people who have known me for years. They think he's full of sh*t and have now made it known that my life is worth more than this -- which I know. I have found good things and bad things about AA. I think my AH looks forward to going so he can be the class clown. His therapist sees his dry drunk behavior and is trying to change it but, but, but, but, but.....
Most days I am fantastic and love myself and all of my faults. Sometimes, like this past week, his "old life" comes in and has beaten me over the head before I have even seen it coming. Then the old ugly me shows up because the scar has been cut open once again. For, as long as AH doesn't acknowledge what he's doing/did was wrong, there is no way for him to fix it. If he doesn't fix it, I can't trust him. If I can't trust him, the hurt stays as a reminder to not travel that road with him.
I understand what you are saying, Dax. I have no problems with it as I, too, have posted about "effing counseling" more than once. My feeling is that it is better to get out what ails you here - regardless of the method -- because that's the only way we begin to heal.
That's my two cents.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Dax -
Has your husband expressed and shown remorse for his actions? If you are unable to forgive him, why do you stay with him? I wish for your sake that you can either find the ability to forgive him and move forward with him or move forward without him so that you can find some peace for yourself. The posts that you have written that I have read are mostly filled with anger. I know that when I first came here I was looking for support, understanding and information, which I found in abundance. We all come here filled with anger and fear and looking for help. What is it that you are looking for on this site? If you are not looking for support for yourself and are unable to offer support or a "hug" for others, what is your purpose for being here? I hope that you will be able to share this with us.
Hugs, Jo
Has your husband expressed and shown remorse for his actions? If you are unable to forgive him, why do you stay with him? I wish for your sake that you can either find the ability to forgive him and move forward with him or move forward without him so that you can find some peace for yourself. The posts that you have written that I have read are mostly filled with anger. I know that when I first came here I was looking for support, understanding and information, which I found in abundance. We all come here filled with anger and fear and looking for help. What is it that you are looking for on this site? If you are not looking for support for yourself and are unable to offer support or a "hug" for others, what is your purpose for being here? I hope that you will be able to share this with us.
Hugs, Jo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: north east
Posts: 58
Dear Dax-
I can feel your pain. Frankly, the meetings were great for other people but not me too. I am married to a VERY angry person. I tried everything they said I should try- it did not help. Sometimes I thought these people thought I was making up the weeks I had to live. My AH seemed to be the worse of all the AH's. Sometimes I felt so uneasy and out of place at these meetings I finally quit going.
I then went to a private clinic for wives with AH husbands. The doctor told me to do this and do that but nothing worked. She finally gave up and said save yourself. She advised me to kick him off the farm and get on with my life. I was not ready to do this. So I stayed with AH for a few more years. I am now going ( two months) to a really great doctor that has hepled me so much. He is so matter of fact that I can not make any more excuses for AH. Plus, I have been lurking here for months. Both this doctor and this forum gave knowledge I needed. I have finally kicked AH out a whole two weeks. Wow?
I too love horses. I did not have any here on the farm for about five years. This was the longest time in my life I did not have any. I am so glad to hear that you have some.
Go down to the barn and smell the smells. All of them- hay, straw, horse manure, leather and then that special smell- horsie breath. Let the horses smell your breath and know that horses only repsect true people. My horses respect me more than my AH. It is so simple with horses. Your treat them with respect they treat you with respect. If only my AH could understand this. It is all about respect.
Then remember how great learning how to ride was. Remember your first canter you actually sat to and how proud you were. This has helped me to remember the sane and simple times in my life. I hope I can get back to sane and simple. I wish this for you too.
Please take care and give your horse a hug from me!!!!
I can feel your pain. Frankly, the meetings were great for other people but not me too. I am married to a VERY angry person. I tried everything they said I should try- it did not help. Sometimes I thought these people thought I was making up the weeks I had to live. My AH seemed to be the worse of all the AH's. Sometimes I felt so uneasy and out of place at these meetings I finally quit going.
I then went to a private clinic for wives with AH husbands. The doctor told me to do this and do that but nothing worked. She finally gave up and said save yourself. She advised me to kick him off the farm and get on with my life. I was not ready to do this. So I stayed with AH for a few more years. I am now going ( two months) to a really great doctor that has hepled me so much. He is so matter of fact that I can not make any more excuses for AH. Plus, I have been lurking here for months. Both this doctor and this forum gave knowledge I needed. I have finally kicked AH out a whole two weeks. Wow?
I too love horses. I did not have any here on the farm for about five years. This was the longest time in my life I did not have any. I am so glad to hear that you have some.
Go down to the barn and smell the smells. All of them- hay, straw, horse manure, leather and then that special smell- horsie breath. Let the horses smell your breath and know that horses only repsect true people. My horses respect me more than my AH. It is so simple with horses. Your treat them with respect they treat you with respect. If only my AH could understand this. It is all about respect.
Then remember how great learning how to ride was. Remember your first canter you actually sat to and how proud you were. This has helped me to remember the sane and simple times in my life. I hope I can get back to sane and simple. I wish this for you too.
Please take care and give your horse a hug from me!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Hey Dax,thank you for sharring.
Hey everyone,And acceptance is the answer to all my problems.
To accept where folks are at and how they do their own recovery,or even if they do recovery.I certainly can't take away anothers right to feel however they feel.Friends/fellowship, are not people who insist that i be other than what i choose to be.A few years ago i was in great fear and great pain.The folks who i turned to ,for help,couldn't accept where i was at.They first started to encourage me to be different than i was.After a while when they didn't see the changes in me that they wanted, they got mean to me.Talked down to me,saying i must luv to be on the pity pod,etc,,etc.Telling me what i should think and feel.I really did try to listen to them,and follow what they were saying .But my fear,was over-riding all that they were telling me.I wasnt ready.I needed to go through all that i went through,i see this today.Finally all the pushing,belittling of where i was at,not accepting,me, and listening to me,i blew up at them and let them go.{have sence made my amends to them and self}I couldnt be what they wanted/needed me to be.It was their wants and needs that they were interested in,not mine,or where i was at at the time.They knew better.They had all my answers,so they thought.But they didnt.Nothing absolutly nothing happen in God,s world by mistake.All of it has a bigger reason.Change begins on the inside.When i was alone,to accept myself where i was at,in that time,i got a closer relationship with God.Through prayer/meditation,i was able by God,s Grace to get out of that funk i was in.And feeling better i started to apply program to my life.I don't blame those folks,anymore.I did for a while.But i don't today.They to are human,doing the very best that they know how,given their experiences of their own lives.......The road that leads to hell,is paved by folks with good intentions.......This has been my experience,with folks telling me how i should be,what i should do,,etc,,etc..When i just for some reason couldnt do what they wanted me to,in wanting me to change.,to be more like what they could accept.There was a block there within me at that time.From this i don't give out advice,because i don't know.I will listen..And share,experience,strenght,and hope.And folks might,not be where i think or want them to be,but i accept where they are.As soon as i make judement on they shouldnt be this way,or they can be better,healther,than they are,i remember my own past,and let it go.Changes happen in God, time never mine.Today when i seek councel i pray about this first.Then i will know who to go for,for help,not judgemnts,and pulling at me to change..
Just wanted to share,what has worked for me.My pain of really trying to be what others wanted me to be.Then finally accepting,and making changes in my life,when that block that i had,had vanished through prayer/meditation.The program works when i work it.Love and tolerance is our code.Can you do this for me,when im untolerable,not loving?..
Dax,girl hope i havent high-jacked your thread.Keep on keeping on to the best of your ability...
Hey everyone,And acceptance is the answer to all my problems.
To accept where folks are at and how they do their own recovery,or even if they do recovery.I certainly can't take away anothers right to feel however they feel.Friends/fellowship, are not people who insist that i be other than what i choose to be.A few years ago i was in great fear and great pain.The folks who i turned to ,for help,couldn't accept where i was at.They first started to encourage me to be different than i was.After a while when they didn't see the changes in me that they wanted, they got mean to me.Talked down to me,saying i must luv to be on the pity pod,etc,,etc.Telling me what i should think and feel.I really did try to listen to them,and follow what they were saying .But my fear,was over-riding all that they were telling me.I wasnt ready.I needed to go through all that i went through,i see this today.Finally all the pushing,belittling of where i was at,not accepting,me, and listening to me,i blew up at them and let them go.{have sence made my amends to them and self}I couldnt be what they wanted/needed me to be.It was their wants and needs that they were interested in,not mine,or where i was at at the time.They knew better.They had all my answers,so they thought.But they didnt.Nothing absolutly nothing happen in God,s world by mistake.All of it has a bigger reason.Change begins on the inside.When i was alone,to accept myself where i was at,in that time,i got a closer relationship with God.Through prayer/meditation,i was able by God,s Grace to get out of that funk i was in.And feeling better i started to apply program to my life.I don't blame those folks,anymore.I did for a while.But i don't today.They to are human,doing the very best that they know how,given their experiences of their own lives.......The road that leads to hell,is paved by folks with good intentions.......This has been my experience,with folks telling me how i should be,what i should do,,etc,,etc..When i just for some reason couldnt do what they wanted me to,in wanting me to change.,to be more like what they could accept.There was a block there within me at that time.From this i don't give out advice,because i don't know.I will listen..And share,experience,strenght,and hope.And folks might,not be where i think or want them to be,but i accept where they are.As soon as i make judement on they shouldnt be this way,or they can be better,healther,than they are,i remember my own past,and let it go.Changes happen in God, time never mine.Today when i seek councel i pray about this first.Then i will know who to go for,for help,not judgemnts,and pulling at me to change..
Just wanted to share,what has worked for me.My pain of really trying to be what others wanted me to be.Then finally accepting,and making changes in my life,when that block that i had,had vanished through prayer/meditation.The program works when i work it.Love and tolerance is our code.Can you do this for me,when im untolerable,not loving?..
Dax,girl hope i havent high-jacked your thread.Keep on keeping on to the best of your ability...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 261
Dax- I understand your pain as I am married, mother of 2 girls and married to AH..It is hard carrying around the pain, but the best revenge is happiness..Find happiness within yourself...Focus on yourself...(I have to do this for myself also in order to release lots of my bitterness, resentment and anger)..I have good and bad days..Some days I'm better than others.. I am not healed..I can tell you that.. I hope you find at least some sunny days! Take care!
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
To accept where folks are at and how they do their own recovery,or even if they do recovery
It took me 14 years before I got my $hit together and found therapy then alanon. Perhaps it would have happened sooner if I had known other women in similar circumstances and forums such as SR. But I am thankful that I was given the opportunity to heal my spirit and not carry grudges for the rest of my days.
Blessings to you Dax.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Ok- one reason I am so angry is my husband would never come clean about the affair. To get thru an affair you need to get answers to all the questions about the affair. I had to dig out from files and the back of the closet from hell all the info. 5 years later I find proof of sex and he fianlly admits all . Well he was thrown out of house till I got a history. He BAsically did nothing but hide in his computer room and deny. He was so 'programed' he was just sure I was sooner or later going tojust'turn it over.' So 5 years in, we were b ack to square one. The man has never been abusive. In our 40 years of marriage he has never really put me down. But their has been a great deal of benign neglect on his part. Finally he is doing what he should have done years ago.but by now I am just disgusted with him. I am not sure I love him anymore. I am taking a wait and see attitude because things are going well. I would have perferred to be retired by now but he went thru a lot of our money. He hid the spending. He has been in and out of work. So my busness basically supports us. And he is helping . I just wish i had more riding time and grandchild time. I am tired a lot. When I am tired and can't ride - I get very crabby. Thank you for your helpful replies. dax
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
Dax - I came to SR to find something I can relate to, where I can get support from those who have been where I've been and to learn about me (which I get alot out of reading other's posts).
I will only say that your choice is your choice. You cannot be convinced to like or dislike AA or Al-Anon - I respect that. One thing I've learned in this past year is.....who am I to try to convince anyone what to do. I definately know that I can't convince my AH to go to AA or counseling.
If you had been in the program 20 years before this happened then you have the tools you need. Like the lies that come with drinking - forgiveness is important to recovery. Would you agree that holding on to anger and/or resentments is unhealthy, for me or anyone else? I am so glad that I have been able to let go of my AH's infidelity toward alcoholism - which is no where near in comparison to what you've dealt with.
I give you a lot of credit. If my AH cheated on me with another person, it would be over....done....no second chance. But, you gave him that second chance and you have your reasons. May I ask you a question?? I know any relationship has its problems and as a couple those problems can be worked through. If you are not totally happy, why do you stay?
I will only say that your choice is your choice. You cannot be convinced to like or dislike AA or Al-Anon - I respect that. One thing I've learned in this past year is.....who am I to try to convince anyone what to do. I definately know that I can't convince my AH to go to AA or counseling.
If you had been in the program 20 years before this happened then you have the tools you need. Like the lies that come with drinking - forgiveness is important to recovery. Would you agree that holding on to anger and/or resentments is unhealthy, for me or anyone else? I am so glad that I have been able to let go of my AH's infidelity toward alcoholism - which is no where near in comparison to what you've dealt with.
I give you a lot of credit. If my AH cheated on me with another person, it would be over....done....no second chance. But, you gave him that second chance and you have your reasons. May I ask you a question?? I know any relationship has its problems and as a couple those problems can be worked through. If you are not totally happy, why do you stay?
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Dax - thank you for sharing your story. You are obviously comfortable with the status quo and who am I to question that? I do admit to having done that in the past and I apologise. I am intrigued by your situation, however, and I have a couple of questions for you. You obviously don't have to answer if you don't want.
What is the payoff you get for keeping hold of these feelings of bitterness? Is it to avoid getting emotionally close to your husband so that he doesn't hurt you again?
Do you continue to punish your husband so that you can feel superior to him? I know that I used to do that with my ex.
Why do you feel that members of Al-anon and AA had a duty to tell you about your husband's affair? Would that not have gone against the spirit of confidentiality?
I only ask these questions in the hopes of understanding your situation a little better, not to browbeat you.
Love
Minnie
xxx
What is the payoff you get for keeping hold of these feelings of bitterness? Is it to avoid getting emotionally close to your husband so that he doesn't hurt you again?
Do you continue to punish your husband so that you can feel superior to him? I know that I used to do that with my ex.
Why do you feel that members of Al-anon and AA had a duty to tell you about your husband's affair? Would that not have gone against the spirit of confidentiality?
I only ask these questions in the hopes of understanding your situation a little better, not to browbeat you.
Love
Minnie
xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
minnie- I do not continue to punish my husband -unless going to just 3 meetings a week against about 12. 12 meetings even without the infidelity allowed him to never do one thing around the house and escape dealing with the children-especially in the rebellous teenage years. He now has a wreak of a house to repair since we can't afford to hire someone. You did not have 40 years of marriage so it was smart and easier for you to exit -athough I know you suffered a great amount of pain.
Things are much easier when you are young. We have a 40 year history and possessions. He and my children and grandson are my family. I am not close to my sister. I would rathert not work 7 days aweek past 65. If I divorce , I would have to work till at least 70. I want time to horseback ride and do things with my grandson.
I am happier with him at this point than without him. He is treating me great -like I should have been treated all along. He is not a captive . He plays golf as often as he wants-usually 3 times a week. He helps with my pet sitting, tries to get some consulting, helps babysit our grandson about once a week.[something a lot of men would not do -take care of a baby]. We go out and do lots of things together.
" The spirit of confidentiality" -there is lies my problem with the program. AAers will cover for their own-no matter what the offense. Which is why I am not ill at easy when he is playing golf or at work- just when he is at meetings- sharing something 'a normal person' would not understand. Not to mentiomn ow is wacko and totally unpredictable. Hope you have a great day. dax
Things are much easier when you are young. We have a 40 year history and possessions. He and my children and grandson are my family. I am not close to my sister. I would rathert not work 7 days aweek past 65. If I divorce , I would have to work till at least 70. I want time to horseback ride and do things with my grandson.
I am happier with him at this point than without him. He is treating me great -like I should have been treated all along. He is not a captive . He plays golf as often as he wants-usually 3 times a week. He helps with my pet sitting, tries to get some consulting, helps babysit our grandson about once a week.[something a lot of men would not do -take care of a baby]. We go out and do lots of things together.
" The spirit of confidentiality" -there is lies my problem with the program. AAers will cover for their own-no matter what the offense. Which is why I am not ill at easy when he is playing golf or at work- just when he is at meetings- sharing something 'a normal person' would not understand. Not to mentiomn ow is wacko and totally unpredictable. Hope you have a great day. dax
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Hey again,Dax,you say,AAers will cover for their own no matter what the offense.Hmmmm,you have every right to think this way.But as always there are other perceptions.,if i may..Where i worked there was 2 married folks having an affair.So one gal thought it was her responsibilty to tell the parteners about the affair.And she did.And she was nailed,big time.Asked what was her point in sniching,as it was called back then.As you know,years ago,nothing worse than a snicher.What was her purpose in telling?Who made her God.She was told it was none of her business..All this stuff was thrown at her.And she not the others was given a reputation,of being a snich,not someone who you could trust,with your issues.Same as in AA.Some,folks don't want to get involved.in da mess.Do you know for certain that no one actually talked to your hub?And then let it go.Folks have the right to decide what they will get involved in and what they don't.In letting go,the truth did come out as it always does.Without outsiders getting hurt,in da rooms.When i go to AA those folks there are not my children .They are my fellows,trying the best that we all know how to live sober.Affairs can be seen as outside issues.,no matter where they happen.One must be careful on what one gets involved in.You wanted to know.Wanted another to tell you.But there are those too,who want to stay in the dark,and don't want to hear it.So,who is to know what to do?Personally i don't belong in anothers marriage.if messing around ive talked to the offender.But thats as far as im going.If others had told you and you didnt want to know,this situation could have caused great harm to the person who told you.They may feel responsible for the outcome.May go out to drink,on it,if its a fairly newcomer,who still thinks that situations leads them to drink.All i know for sure Dax,is that folks do not live nor do they have to on my own belief system.Learned this the hard way.Was hurting myself with why arent they different,than what they are..lol.Life on lifes terms...I guess is what im saying.When i came to accept,this my life got better.I mean there are folks out there that i will never understand.And that ok.Im ok,they are ok too.In a perfect world,we live so that we have no secrets.That our life has changed.We are now spirtiually fit.But this is not a pefect world,with perfect folks in it.We strive.
Last edited by Cap3; 06-02-2005 at 06:47 AM. Reason: adding to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Cap- Actually they were his friends. I did not expect anyone to tell me. I do think some encouraged it. And one person did give me the hint that led to me finding out.. At an AA gathering she said to my H 'you just missed S." who I was already suspicious of.It is not so much the people but the whole AA envirnment- Our marriage counselor. also in AA, said affairs were common because of the close bond of sharing an addiction. So now attack our couselor I guess who even my husband liked. As for the person telling of the office affair. She did the right thing in my opinion. The spouses had a right to know. Now those two would probably be fired or have a sexual harassesment suit on their hands. In my daughter's office -this just happened- the ow got fired [nicer office here all the employees thought she got what she deserved].
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 261
Dax-That's great to hear about your grandson and the horseback riding..Kids bring so much love and joy into our lives and I'm sure the horseback riding is invigorating and brings peace!!! (When I had filed for divorce, my husband's younger co-worker went after him during this period, so I understand some of what you are going through)..I would love my husband's co-worker to find a new job, but I have come to the conclusion that anytime my husband wants to leave he can not let the door kick him in the -ss! ha ha That's a good way to look at it! Take care!
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