Rehab...again...maybe
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Rehab...again...maybe
Hi everyone
As most of you know, my son has been in and out of the revolving door of recovery/relapse. I have seen him feeling pretty low lately (and that is a good thing) and finally last night he asked me to look up a couple of rehabs on the internet.
He made an appointment for next Wednesday with one, and tomorrow I am driving him to one out of the city, in the country, to take a look and talk to some people there. It is a Salvation Army New Hope program, costs nothing (our Provincial health Plan pays everything), and is a minimum 6 month program.
Now I am not exactly jumping up and down yet...he's not there yet, but at least he is making an effort and is doing this all on his own, and I am proud of him for that. I think he is a little scared, although rehab is not a new experience for him. This will be his ninth in 12 years, and I know the real recovery work starts after rehab. But he admits he is sick and tired of being sick and tired and I think I detect a little surrender on his part.
I am quick to share any bad news, so thought I should share the good news. Time will tell how good it is.
This being the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, I have one more thing to be thankful for.
As most of you know, my son has been in and out of the revolving door of recovery/relapse. I have seen him feeling pretty low lately (and that is a good thing) and finally last night he asked me to look up a couple of rehabs on the internet.
He made an appointment for next Wednesday with one, and tomorrow I am driving him to one out of the city, in the country, to take a look and talk to some people there. It is a Salvation Army New Hope program, costs nothing (our Provincial health Plan pays everything), and is a minimum 6 month program.
Now I am not exactly jumping up and down yet...he's not there yet, but at least he is making an effort and is doing this all on his own, and I am proud of him for that. I think he is a little scared, although rehab is not a new experience for him. This will be his ninth in 12 years, and I know the real recovery work starts after rehab. But he admits he is sick and tired of being sick and tired and I think I detect a little surrender on his part.
I am quick to share any bad news, so thought I should share the good news. Time will tell how good it is.
This being the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, I have one more thing to be thankful for.
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Great news Ann!!
I am happy that your son is walking in the right direction. I will definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
I love good news!!
You take care.
Many hugs,
Love,
Debbie
I am happy that your son is walking in the right direction. I will definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
I love good news!!
You take care.
Many hugs,
Love,
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
That's great to hear, Ann! I hope he gets the boulder all the way up the hill this time. Don'tcha just get sick of it rolling back down and over your tootsies? No wonder we have to wear bunny slippers.
Hugs,
Smoke
Hugs,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
Dear Ann -
It is so good to hear your son is looking into rehabs. As mothers, we have learned to keep our expectations down, but that little glimmer of hope is what keeps us going. My thoughts and prayers will be with you that he follows through.
hugs,
deedee
It is so good to hear your son is looking into rehabs. As mothers, we have learned to keep our expectations down, but that little glimmer of hope is what keeps us going. My thoughts and prayers will be with you that he follows through.
hugs,
deedee
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Anns,
Good news! And six months at that! I was so glad to her about the Beav at 90 days. I can't help but think those 30 day programs must be limited.
So I will do a little short jumping with no pom poms...no one will even notice except you. Shhhh.... short quiet jumps. I won't even wake Toby.
I am praying for you both!
JT
Good news! And six months at that! I was so glad to her about the Beav at 90 days. I can't help but think those 30 day programs must be limited.
So I will do a little short jumping with no pom poms...no one will even notice except you. Shhhh.... short quiet jumps. I won't even wake Toby.
I am praying for you both!
JT
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
At work today, a lady I work with was telling me about her son getting an all-expenses paid scholarship to a university in Colorado.
She knows about my son, and I couldn't help but laugh and tell her my son was hoping for an all-expenses paid education in rehab.
Those "normie" moms just dont get it that we can be so happy that our sons are going to rehab, and that we see it as GOOD news.
They don't want to know the BAD news
She knows about my son, and I couldn't help but laugh and tell her my son was hoping for an all-expenses paid education in rehab.
Those "normie" moms just dont get it that we can be so happy that our sons are going to rehab, and that we see it as GOOD news.
They don't want to know the BAD news
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
University, huh?
I brag when my kids get a JOB, and my
youngest was washing dishes before he
was locked up, I was so proud. If these
normie Mom's only knew.
Ann, my prayers are with you and your son-
this is good news.
Hugs,
I brag when my kids get a JOB, and my
youngest was washing dishes before he
was locked up, I was so proud. If these
normie Mom's only knew.
Ann, my prayers are with you and your son-
this is good news.
Hugs,
Guest
Posts: n/a
Time for Ann and JT to put on their steel toe bunny slippers. They will not even notice if that boulder comes rolling back down the hill. We will also add a pogo stick to the kit so that we can leap over boulders in a moments notice.
Can you picture that?
Hugs,
MG
Can you picture that?
Hugs,
MG
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Well, we just got back from looking at the one waaaaay out in the country...and to my surprise, he said he would like to go there. It is quite beautiful and on 200 acres of rolling land...and a million miles from anywhere. As my son so nicely put it "It would be hard to get into any trouble out here and if I want to change, I have to CHANGE".
He talked to a couple of fellows in the program and they spoke well of it. It is a Salvation Army New Hope program, minimum 6 months and not a lot of privileges. Visitors only for church and lunch on Sundays, and a Saturday day-pass after 30 days with restrictions...Family or friends accompanied by family or if none of the above, then they take them to a small town to shop for personal items and to dinner and a meeting and bring them home.
I really thought he would reject this one...even before we got there because it is so isolated, but he made an appointment to call and talk to the intake people on Tuesday (Monday is a holiday) and is getting his things together to be ready.
Now he's not there yet...and I have my special "rockslide" helmet on as well as my cleated bunny slippers with the steel toes...but there is hope that he is serious about this.
Just had to share the "potentially" good news. Will keep you posted.
He talked to a couple of fellows in the program and they spoke well of it. It is a Salvation Army New Hope program, minimum 6 months and not a lot of privileges. Visitors only for church and lunch on Sundays, and a Saturday day-pass after 30 days with restrictions...Family or friends accompanied by family or if none of the above, then they take them to a small town to shop for personal items and to dinner and a meeting and bring them home.
I really thought he would reject this one...even before we got there because it is so isolated, but he made an appointment to call and talk to the intake people on Tuesday (Monday is a holiday) and is getting his things together to be ready.
Now he's not there yet...and I have my special "rockslide" helmet on as well as my cleated bunny slippers with the steel toes...but there is hope that he is serious about this.
Just had to share the "potentially" good news. Will keep you posted.
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 19
That's good news ann,
I know it's hard to get your hopes up when he's been in and out of the program so many times...BUT you just never know what might come of this. I know a person who has gone through at LEAST 14 programs...his parents had him in every club med type recovery program all over the state, out of state, thinking that the better the program, the more it costs, the better treatment he will get. WRONG...none of it worked...his last program was in maui-hawaii, and right on the beach. Well, something clicked...and he's coming up on 5 years of recovery. The salvation army is a good recovery program. I know several people who have graduated from it, and are still doing well.....Yes it is after the program when the true test is, but if he's willing to go to any lengths, he will be ok...and maybe this time, the fear might have gotten to him and since he came to you about going to treatment, it might mean he's willing....\
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Happy thanksgiving by the way...
Sunnie
I know it's hard to get your hopes up when he's been in and out of the program so many times...BUT you just never know what might come of this. I know a person who has gone through at LEAST 14 programs...his parents had him in every club med type recovery program all over the state, out of state, thinking that the better the program, the more it costs, the better treatment he will get. WRONG...none of it worked...his last program was in maui-hawaii, and right on the beach. Well, something clicked...and he's coming up on 5 years of recovery. The salvation army is a good recovery program. I know several people who have graduated from it, and are still doing well.....Yes it is after the program when the true test is, but if he's willing to go to any lengths, he will be ok...and maybe this time, the fear might have gotten to him and since he came to you about going to treatment, it might mean he's willing....\
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Happy thanksgiving by the way...
Sunnie
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thanks Sunnie
I don't see his other programs as failures - each one gave him tools that still help him today. I see each program as an attempt by my son to keep trying...and that is a positive thing. I heard a speaker once who had been to 18 programs, and he said that it took that many for him to finally hang on, and he had 15 years clean. He said that 100 programs are each worth it, if that is what it took.
We are lucky in Canada that most programs are covered by our government health plans. I didn't realize how fortunate we were until I saw Americans here struggling with the cost issues.
And I believe that any program, expensive or free, is as good or bad as the desire of the person there to participate.
Here's hoping.
I don't see his other programs as failures - each one gave him tools that still help him today. I see each program as an attempt by my son to keep trying...and that is a positive thing. I heard a speaker once who had been to 18 programs, and he said that it took that many for him to finally hang on, and he had 15 years clean. He said that 100 programs are each worth it, if that is what it took.
We are lucky in Canada that most programs are covered by our government health plans. I didn't realize how fortunate we were until I saw Americans here struggling with the cost issues.
And I believe that any program, expensive or free, is as good or bad as the desire of the person there to participate.
Here's hoping.
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 19
of course I did not mean that the programs were failures even all the ones my friend went to...he just wasn't ready yet. it may take a whole lot more, but setting ur boundaries, but always extending an open hand to your son and not giving up on him, just might be the added ooommmpph h he needs to turn his life around...it's hell living with one foot in, and one foot out....knowing there is a better life but not being able to stop even when the desire is there...or just a seed of desire...I have been there...where I couldn't stop even when I wanted to, and it took 5 days in Jail, my parents called them on me, and my daughter being temporarily 18 months with my mom and dad while I wnet to treatment, 5 months, and outpatient for 9 months...plus counseling. I'd relapsed after 8 years of sobriety....and I hit my bottom, after making the conscience choice to go back to drinking. I was out for 4 years off and on...and my parents, saved my life...I was 32 years old. My parents died last year 9 months apart and the biggest gift I gave them was the gift of my recovery and my life back to be the best parent I could be...It was because they did not give up on me...They did not cowtow to me, they practiced tough love, but it took what it took, and I am still sober.
All it takes is just a LITTLE bit of willingness....and it sounds like he's a little willling.
Sunnie
All it takes is just a LITTLE bit of willingness....and it sounds like he's a little willling.
Sunnie
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
THANKS MARGOT - YOU TOO.
And Sunny - I didn't mean that you refered to them as failures - I meant only that I didn't see them that way..LOL.
I am so happy that you and your parents got to know each other when you were clean again. I'm sure you know that they loved you just as much whether you were clean or using, but I must say that it is like experiencing a miracle to see our children get clean. Every day clean is a miracle, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for your support and insight as someone who has been there. I sincerely appreciate that.
I am going to church tomorrow - and there will be special prayers thanking God for each and every one of you here. I love you all.
And Sunny - I didn't mean that you refered to them as failures - I meant only that I didn't see them that way..LOL.
I am so happy that you and your parents got to know each other when you were clean again. I'm sure you know that they loved you just as much whether you were clean or using, but I must say that it is like experiencing a miracle to see our children get clean. Every day clean is a miracle, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for your support and insight as someone who has been there. I sincerely appreciate that.
I am going to church tomorrow - and there will be special prayers thanking God for each and every one of you here. I love you all.
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: MA
Posts: 20
Kaleidoscope
Hi Ann
Remember those when you were child --You shook them up and then the little colored pieces inside formed a pretty design and when you held it up to the light you could all the colors. Everytime you shook the instrument you would get a different pattern and a different arrangement of colors but it was always beautiful.
This reminds me of how our relationship is with our child who is using. Somedays things get pretty shaken up and then later on
we find tht it ws a necessary step in making something beautiful
show up later on. It reminds me too of you in the way you hv choosen to look at your Son's recovery You are very good at holding things up to the light to hang on to the hope of a better life for your son. Hope isn't the same as expecting but it's a whole lot better than living in despair.
I'll leave you with this definition of Kaleidoscopic ----EVER-CHANGING IN BEAUTY AND FORM.
HERES TO LOOKING TOWARDS THE LIGHT
Remember those when you were child --You shook them up and then the little colored pieces inside formed a pretty design and when you held it up to the light you could all the colors. Everytime you shook the instrument you would get a different pattern and a different arrangement of colors but it was always beautiful.
This reminds me of how our relationship is with our child who is using. Somedays things get pretty shaken up and then later on
we find tht it ws a necessary step in making something beautiful
show up later on. It reminds me too of you in the way you hv choosen to look at your Son's recovery You are very good at holding things up to the light to hang on to the hope of a better life for your son. Hope isn't the same as expecting but it's a whole lot better than living in despair.
I'll leave you with this definition of Kaleidoscopic ----EVER-CHANGING IN BEAUTY AND FORM.
HERES TO LOOKING TOWARDS THE LIGHT
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