Ann

Aquarius, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear sister.

As others have said, there is nothing you could have said or done that would have changed anything. I'm sure she knew how much you and your children loved her, and I hope that your wonderful memories of her and the beautiful person she was will not be clouded by the way she died.

She was first and always very much a good person, a dear sister and beloved aunt. The label alcoholic pertains to her disease and is not a reflection of the quality of her person.

I'm glad you have joined us and hope that in some small way we can offer you comfort.

Hugs
Ann

AQUARIUS

I am so thankful to everyone for their kind words and thoughts. Everyone has been very insightful. I am considering attending an Al-Anon meeting to see if it is helpful. I am not sure if the children are old enough to attend Al-ATeen, they are 9 and 11. I will look into that, as well. We were directed to Center for Hope Hospice for grief counseling. I am not sure what direction to take and do not want to overwhelm their already fragile condition. My son actually spent most of Memorial Day inside the house while we had family and friends over for a barbeque. He was lethargic and teary and complained that he felt having people over was disrespectful to his Aunt (also both of the children's godmother). I did my best to comfort him, which was pretty easy since I was having an O.K. day, but he never really rallied. I know that we are all going to have to get help with this, I just want to proceed cautiously as not to push emotions or feelings on the children that they may not be ready to confront and deal with. How does someone know when the right time and place are for grief counseling/alcohol awareness for children?

Aquarius-

gelfling

Counselling for the kids cannot come soon enough. 9 and 11 isn't too young. The grief counselling is a good idea, but they're resilient and will rebound quickly. The issue of alcoholism in the family is something that will be with them for the rest of their lives. You can contact rehab centers and talk to a counsellor there and find out where the meetings are held.

Sorry if I come off pushy, but I carry the guilt of not doing alateen/alatot for my son who is 25 and recovering. If I can encourage one family to seek the proper help that will save the children grief and pain involved with alcoholism, so be it.

And please take in some alanon meetings. You need to take care of yourself too. Ask hubby to go with you too.

Blessings

lonlion

Aquarius, I also wanted to express my condolences on the loss of your second half. As a mother of adult twin daughters, I know how tight the bond is.

Others have said such wonderful things and given such good advice.

Just please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Diana

Sapphoness

I am so sorry for your loss, I am 39 and an identical twin. My heart truly feels for you and losing your sister. I hadn't talked to my sister in the past week because of all my" stuff " I called her after reading your story. Thank you!!! I love her dearly, she has always been my best friend even when we disagree. Her and her husband have been very unjudgemental with the situation with my husband and his drinking, unlike some other famly members.
God be with you in your healing and with your family.