I bought /co-dependant no more : )
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
I bought /co-dependant no more : )
Hi everyone...First...thanks for all the encouragement!
Yesterday...as I read through all the messages..I finaly bought the book. OMG.................. I could not put it down. Like many of you have said............... I was totally in that book! I would almost laugh and cry at each page...it was scary! The only thing I was frightened of was this........... did I cause him to be a drinker?
I am going to go to some al-anon meetings................yeasago........ like 20 +++ I went , I was so depressed when I left I never could bring myself to go back. I am older and wiser now....s o I will give it a try once again.
The A showed his "A" : ) again to me today...it is getting a bit easier daily to be without the chaos.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU...YOU REALLY KEEP ME GOING!
**** Kitty
Yesterday...as I read through all the messages..I finaly bought the book. OMG.................. I could not put it down. Like many of you have said............... I was totally in that book! I would almost laugh and cry at each page...it was scary! The only thing I was frightened of was this........... did I cause him to be a drinker?
I am going to go to some al-anon meetings................yeasago........ like 20 +++ I went , I was so depressed when I left I never could bring myself to go back. I am older and wiser now....s o I will give it a try once again.
The A showed his "A" : ) again to me today...it is getting a bit easier daily to be without the chaos.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU...YOU REALLY KEEP ME GOING!
**** Kitty
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Posts: n/a
Kitty,
That's great that you bought the book.
Was it something in the book that is making you think you caused him to drink??
We can't cause another person to do anything unless we use force. Like handcuffs, duct tape, nets weapons, etc....
That old saying that you drive me to drinking is just not so.
You didn't cause this. Nothing could make me be an ascoholic. (lol, that was a typo so I thought I'd just leave it) And I've been through some @$@%!!! You aren't an alcoholic and you've been through some (&*^(!!!
You did not cause it!!!!
Hugs,
MG
That's great that you bought the book.
Was it something in the book that is making you think you caused him to drink??
We can't cause another person to do anything unless we use force. Like handcuffs, duct tape, nets weapons, etc....
That old saying that you drive me to drinking is just not so.
You didn't cause this. Nothing could make me be an ascoholic. (lol, that was a typo so I thought I'd just leave it) And I've been through some @$@%!!! You aren't an alcoholic and you've been through some (&*^(!!!
You did not cause it!!!!
Hugs,
MG
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Kitty -
Take it from an A - you did not cause him to drink. No way in the world - no one caused me to use or drink and MG said it is not possible.
I love the book too. I understand what you mean about laughing and crying with each page - yes it is scary how alike we all really are isn't it?
Take care and remember - non of his addiction is your fault.
Take it from an A - you did not cause him to drink. No way in the world - no one caused me to use or drink and MG said it is not possible.
I love the book too. I understand what you mean about laughing and crying with each page - yes it is scary how alike we all really are isn't it?
Take care and remember - non of his addiction is your fault.
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Wow
Ascoholic must already be a word. It's perfect! And I know the language they speak - drunkenese.
The 3 c's are written on the wall at my al anon meetings:
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Isn't it good that we can laugh in the midst of all this?
Hugs
Osier59
Ascoholic must already be a word. It's perfect! And I know the language they speak - drunkenese.
The 3 c's are written on the wall at my al anon meetings:
You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Isn't it good that we can laugh in the midst of all this?
Hugs
Osier59
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
I Just got off the phone with my 26 year old daughter...who is in a serious relationship. I asked her to go out any buy the book. Her father is an "ASCOHOLIC" and basically deserted her and her two brothers when she was 15 and she lived with my A here too.
I know she already has some of the issues mentioned in the book. Maybe it will help her not to make some of the mistakes I have..I hope : }
: )
Love Kitty
I know she already has some of the issues mentioned in the book. Maybe it will help her not to make some of the mistakes I have..I hope : }
: )
Love Kitty
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
Kitty, I am so glad you got the book!!!!
This book is like a bible to me, and I
just recently handed it over to my
daughter-in-law. So I ordered another
one, plus "Language of Letting Go" and
"Playing It By Heart." I remember Ann
talking about these two-I can't wait to get them. I love Meloddy Beattie! And the thing about "Codependent No More", if
I felt old habits coming back, I just
got the book out, and said oooooohhhh
yeeeaaaaaaah-I don't have to do this,
and I don't have to feel this way!
Hugs,
This book is like a bible to me, and I
just recently handed it over to my
daughter-in-law. So I ordered another
one, plus "Language of Letting Go" and
"Playing It By Heart." I remember Ann
talking about these two-I can't wait to get them. I love Meloddy Beattie! And the thing about "Codependent No More", if
I felt old habits coming back, I just
got the book out, and said oooooohhhh
yeeeaaaaaaah-I don't have to do this,
and I don't have to feel this way!
Hugs,
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I went to Alanon when I married the first time and they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear...how to fix him....so I quit. 20+++ years later I was back and the rest is history.
And when I read Melody Beattie I ran around my house pulling the shades...I was sure someone was peeking in my windows!!!
Hugs,
JT
And when I read Melody Beattie I ran around my house pulling the shades...I was sure someone was peeking in my windows!!!
Hugs,
JT
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
HI Kitty,
I know this is an old thread, but I just finished "Codependent No More." I bought it a couple of months ago and I took my time reading it, but I finally finished - the first self-help book I ever read cover to cover. To me, reading it was a lot like going to meetings. Just when I didn't feel like reading it most, if I picked it up I was GUARANTEED to read something that I needed to hear right at that moment! Between these boards, reading this book, and attending meetings, I feel like my recovery program is right where it needs to be.
I also bought "Beyond Codependency" and just started reading that today and believe me, it's as awesome as the first book! (I really need to find out where Beattie has those cameras hidden around my house...) Her "Codependents' Guide to the 12 Steps" is also a great reference for me as I slowly work my way through the steps.
I just wanted to share my experience with you and others. Thanks for being here!
Hugs,
JG
I know this is an old thread, but I just finished "Codependent No More." I bought it a couple of months ago and I took my time reading it, but I finally finished - the first self-help book I ever read cover to cover. To me, reading it was a lot like going to meetings. Just when I didn't feel like reading it most, if I picked it up I was GUARANTEED to read something that I needed to hear right at that moment! Between these boards, reading this book, and attending meetings, I feel like my recovery program is right where it needs to be.
I also bought "Beyond Codependency" and just started reading that today and believe me, it's as awesome as the first book! (I really need to find out where Beattie has those cameras hidden around my house...) Her "Codependents' Guide to the 12 Steps" is also a great reference for me as I slowly work my way through the steps.
I just wanted to share my experience with you and others. Thanks for being here!
Hugs,
JG
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: england
Posts: 47
i've finally met myself
hi ,i've just read ur posting, and thought i'd tell u about a book that i've started reading, Its called , I WANT TO CHANGE BUT I DONT KNOW HOW, its brilliant,
There was a exersise in there called the mirror,where u had to stand in front of a full lenth mirror and maintain eye contact with urself,you had to really look at urself, and then say 3 things that u didnt like about urself, whilst keeping eye contact the whole time,,,,, my god it was hard, but i did it, and then i cried, and then i did the next bit which was to say 3 good things about urself,,,,, and then i smiled, and somewhere in this process, i dont no how, i felt that i had actually met myself fot the first time,,,,,,,i can only desribe it as this,,,
I asked myself if i would ever treat my closest friend the way i had been treating me. Would i for instance tell her how worthless she was, how ugly and unlovable she was. No , thers no way that i would do that to her, but i been doing all those things to me,,the person that has always been there, the most important person in my life, ME, my own best friend.
I had done these things to me for the last 30 odd years, it was quite a experience, and one that i will never forget,i finally met myself again, after all those years, and when i really looked in 2 my eyes , i finally found exceptance there,
It has had a huge impact on me , i feel different, im walking taller, i feel so much better, i no life will throw difficulties at me, but i dont think i will ever feel so alone again,,,, how can i, i've always got me on myside, its a heady feeling, its a nice feeling,
and i wanted to share it with u,,,,,,,, so the next time u go to the mirror, instead using it to do ur hair or to put ur lippy on, just take a minute, to say hello to the person in front of you,
luv to all spind
There was a exersise in there called the mirror,where u had to stand in front of a full lenth mirror and maintain eye contact with urself,you had to really look at urself, and then say 3 things that u didnt like about urself, whilst keeping eye contact the whole time,,,,, my god it was hard, but i did it, and then i cried, and then i did the next bit which was to say 3 good things about urself,,,,, and then i smiled, and somewhere in this process, i dont no how, i felt that i had actually met myself fot the first time,,,,,,,i can only desribe it as this,,,
I asked myself if i would ever treat my closest friend the way i had been treating me. Would i for instance tell her how worthless she was, how ugly and unlovable she was. No , thers no way that i would do that to her, but i been doing all those things to me,,the person that has always been there, the most important person in my life, ME, my own best friend.
I had done these things to me for the last 30 odd years, it was quite a experience, and one that i will never forget,i finally met myself again, after all those years, and when i really looked in 2 my eyes , i finally found exceptance there,
It has had a huge impact on me , i feel different, im walking taller, i feel so much better, i no life will throw difficulties at me, but i dont think i will ever feel so alone again,,,, how can i, i've always got me on myside, its a heady feeling, its a nice feeling,
and i wanted to share it with u,,,,,,,, so the next time u go to the mirror, instead using it to do ur hair or to put ur lippy on, just take a minute, to say hello to the person in front of you,
luv to all spind
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
WOW - Spind -
what an awesome way to look at it. I would NEVER say to a friend the things I say to myself. so simple, yet so profound!!!
thank you so much for sharing, you gave me something to really think about today.
what an awesome way to look at it. I would NEVER say to a friend the things I say to myself. so simple, yet so profound!!!
thank you so much for sharing, you gave me something to really think about today.
Paused
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Toledo, Ohio
Posts: 27
I bought the book
About 10 years ago I bought this book in a horrible time in my life.
I consider this the best book since The Bible. This was my bible.
I kept it in my purse so it was with me all the time. I highlighted some of the best parts and there were times that I would just read these parts for a quick pick me up.
I still have the book as a reminder of where I've been.
Good luck
Davidsmom
I consider this the best book since The Bible. This was my bible.
I kept it in my purse so it was with me all the time. I highlighted some of the best parts and there were times that I would just read these parts for a quick pick me up.
I still have the book as a reminder of where I've been.
Good luck
Davidsmom
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