Maybe I'll Always Carry this Emptiness
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Maybe I'll Always Carry this Emptiness Maybe I'll always cry for you,
Maybe I'll always feel rejected,
Maybe I'll always feel abandoned,
Maybe I'll always feel lonely,
Maybe I'll always wish someone care for me,
Maybe I'll always wish someone called me sometimes,
Maybe I'll always wonder if I am normal,
Maybe I'll always smile with tears on the inside,
Maybe I'll always wonder if you'll stop drinking,
Maybe I'll always wonder if you'll ever apologize,
Maybe I'll always wish that someone showed me love,
Maybe I'll always yearn for passion,
Maybe I'll always struggle to find something to eat,
Maybe I'll always look for love in the wrong places,
Maybe I'll always feel this void in my heart and soul,
Maybe I'll always break down and cry uncontrollably once a month,
Maybe I'll always be stressed out,
Maybe I'll always carry this emptiness on the inside....
Sigh...what I would give to lift my heart from the hole that it has been sunk in all these years. Deep down I am always hurt and I try to ignore it but it catches up with me.
What I would give to not be so human sometimes....
Maybe I'll always feel rejected,
Maybe I'll always feel abandoned,
Maybe I'll always feel lonely,
Maybe I'll always wish someone care for me,
Maybe I'll always wish someone called me sometimes,
Maybe I'll always wonder if I am normal,
Maybe I'll always smile with tears on the inside,
Maybe I'll always wonder if you'll stop drinking,
Maybe I'll always wonder if you'll ever apologize,
Maybe I'll always wish that someone showed me love,
Maybe I'll always yearn for passion,
Maybe I'll always struggle to find something to eat,
Maybe I'll always look for love in the wrong places,
Maybe I'll always feel this void in my heart and soul,
Maybe I'll always break down and cry uncontrollably once a month,
Maybe I'll always be stressed out,
Maybe I'll always carry this emptiness on the inside....
Sigh...what I would give to lift my heart from the hole that it has been sunk in all these years. Deep down I am always hurt and I try to ignore it but it catches up with me.
What I would give to not be so human sometimes....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Home
Posts: 338
I love your poems. Def, did you ever see the video by 3 Doors Down of their song "Away From the Sun"? Your post in it's entirety brought that right into vision in my mind. If you haven't seen it, try making a point to do so. (((keep on climbing)))
Cloudy
Cloudy
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Right now...I just want to lay in my bed and cry, cry, cry, cry, and just let it out but I am at work now and I am not "working" per se but I am still doing this paper and there are still people here and I cant cry because I dont to startle anyone but I cant call anyone because...well...no one seems to answer anyways and I just haven't felt like I have had anyone to turn to at all. I am just tired of feeling so very abandoned....feels like I will always feel this way...
Finding Strength
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Boston , MA
Posts: 91
Wow....Great poem... I feel the same way....I am STILL trying to put myself back together ...It has been a year with out him and I STILL ask myself some of the same questions.... not nearly as often as I used to, but some days they sneak in out of nowhere.
Hugs
Michelle
Hugs
Michelle
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Dear Def,
I wouldn't want you to go through your life with all of these MAYBE's. I know you once said you couldn't get to an alanon meeting. Is there a library close by or could you use the library at school and see if there is any reading material on alcoholism?
I wouldn't want you to go through your life with all of these MAYBE's. I know you once said you couldn't get to an alanon meeting. Is there a library close by or could you use the library at school and see if there is any reading material on alcoholism?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Maybe you'll find a way to smile beyond your tears,
Maybe you'll find a place where you feel cherished,
Maybe you'll begin to feel loved,
Maybe you'll find a secure place,
Maybe you'll come to see that there are lots of people who care for you,
Maybe the phone will start ringing,
Maybe you'll come to accept that you are a beautiful person,
Maybe you'll laugh from the inside out,
Maybe their drinking will one day no longer be of your concern,
Maybe apologies will come, and if they don't...you will still survive and thrive
Maybe your wish for love will come true,
Maybe you should always yearn for passion,
because we should always yearn for what we want most,
Maybe your plate will someday be full,
Maybe you'll find love in just the right place,
Maybe that void in your heart and soul will be filled,
Maybe you will welcome the tears and know that they are only temporary,
Maybe you'll walk through to the other side of your stress,
Maybe you'll find a way to fill that empty place you feel inside with light....
Maybe...just maybe...everything you're feeling right now will turn itself around.
Life is full of possibilities.
You never know what is around the next corner.
Make a wish, have a dream and then believe in both of them.
Maybe you'll find a place where you feel cherished,
Maybe you'll begin to feel loved,
Maybe you'll find a secure place,
Maybe you'll come to see that there are lots of people who care for you,
Maybe the phone will start ringing,
Maybe you'll come to accept that you are a beautiful person,
Maybe you'll laugh from the inside out,
Maybe their drinking will one day no longer be of your concern,
Maybe apologies will come, and if they don't...you will still survive and thrive
Maybe your wish for love will come true,
Maybe you should always yearn for passion,
because we should always yearn for what we want most,
Maybe your plate will someday be full,
Maybe you'll find love in just the right place,
Maybe that void in your heart and soul will be filled,
Maybe you will welcome the tears and know that they are only temporary,
Maybe you'll walk through to the other side of your stress,
Maybe you'll find a way to fill that empty place you feel inside with light....
Maybe...just maybe...everything you're feeling right now will turn itself around.
Life is full of possibilities.
You never know what is around the next corner.
Make a wish, have a dream and then believe in both of them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 48
Def---I know how you feel. I always carry this deep emptyness inside, a deep sadness and lonliness that even when things are going good....I still feel so all alone.
Gabe---I loved your reply. I just wish I could believe in your maybes.
Gabe---I loved your reply. I just wish I could believe in your maybes.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
