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Trust?!?!?! Quote: <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by hopeitsover It's me who is my enemy. It's me who beats me up. Paula Cole from her 'This Fire' CD </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> I never would have believed it ... but it *IS* so very true. We are our own enemies. We created a monster that even *WE* don't like. I have a question .... how does one regain TRUST ... in OTHERS .... but also in ourselves? I was so VERY trusting and could write a few country songs about my life going down the tubes ..... but, deep down, I *know* I was/am a decent person. I wore my heart on my sleaves .... there was no guessing with me ... I had *sucker* written on my forehead. Now, that sounds pathetic, I know. But, I don't like DISTRUSTING people ... it makes me truly sad to always wonder .... can I trust him/her???? Does this make any sense or am I just rambling .... once again!??? |
Wow, can I relate! I love this quote and try to keep it in mind: "When people show you who they are, believe them." —Maya Angelou *SIGH* |
Originally Posted by walkingtheline Wow, can I relate! I love this quote and try to keep it in mind: "When people show you who they are, believe them." —Maya Angelou *SIGH* I could blame him! However, I allowed it to happen! This was who he was/is ... I just refused to believe it and thought I WILL CHANGE HIM ... wrong! Can't! Found out years later and with my OWN addictions to boot! Thank YOU so much for your reply!! HUGS! |
Originally Posted by findingme I knew what I was getting myself into (well, sort of) ... I knew he was an alcoholic .... that was his true self .... because it had been so for so many many many years. I could blame him! However, I allowed it to happen! This was who he was/is ... I just refused to believe it and thought I WILL CHANGE HIM ... wrong! Can't! Found out years later and with my OWN addictions to boot! It's tough. My heart is really breaking. |
Im also in the same boat. I knew what my boyfriend was when I met him. I thought maybe since I didnt meet him drunk and we worked together it would be different. WRONG I was so wrong. I am the first girl he hasnt met in a bar, I am also the only one who will not drink with him. Both these things irritate him and now I am ready to say to him, go find one who will. It breaks my heart, but I have to let go. |
Originally Posted by GettingBy Bingo! I'm right there. I knew who he was, but thought he would change (didn't think I'd change him, well, mabye I did :-( ) Now I'm here, accepting the realities. He is who he is. I don't want to change him, but I don't want to be with him either. I feel bad for that. I feel like I made a promise I can't keep. Kind of feel like a failure. It's tough. My heart is really breaking. In retrospect, looking back ... I did in fact BECOME HIM .... I *thought* I loved him (and deep in my heart I do) .... but I loved only the side he allowed out .... after he's had a few .... nightly! It was just a fantasy you see. I didn't love the person for who he truly WAS .... but I was in love with the person the addiction created! When one comes to that realization it's like HOLY COW (ok, fill in your own word) .... WHY THE HECK DIDN'T I SEE IT SOONER. Yes, a big part wanted to change him .... to heal him ... but what I didn't see then ..... was ..... that he did NOT want to be healed. I think of him often (OK OK, daily) .... and want so badly to REACH OUT ..... but I did that for too long and it will just suck me in again and become SELF-DESTRUCTION written all over it. What's the matter with us *addicts!?* Where are our rationalizing skills? Why can't we put things in PERSPECTIVE for goodness sake. I remember watching the Tsunami disaster coverage and thinking ..... and I'm here complaining about an *addiction* problem..... WHY WHY WHY WHY??? Were we born with some MISSING *logic* neuron or something!! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! K, people .... done rambling for the day! Forgive my lengthy response and I apologize if I've bored you .... I GUESS I NEEDED TO *VENT!!* Thanks for allowing me to do that! SMILE! Blessings, M |
I seem to have been attracted to guys who needed me. I was with a guy for 10 years - we got together at 18 years old a few months after his girlfriend was killed in a car crash. He wasn't an alcoholic, but do you think he needed me? Then I got together with my ex A. What more can I say? I no longer wish to be with someone who is a taker. That's not to say that I won't help people who ask for help, not do I lack compassion. However, I don't want to be with someone who needs me to function. Or that I think needs me to function. So how do I trust my jundgement on that? Who knows? I'm not ready yet. However, I know to be wary of falling in love very quickly. I know to notice the red flags instead of ignoring them. I know not to base decisions about my future with someone on the basis of "If he...., then....". Actions, not words, tell me everything I need to know. |
Ahhhhh the letting go issue again, BOY do I love this one (NOT) I dont know what it takes to let go.... I dont think I have done it yet. I have not contacted him since since his last call but it takes all my will power sometimes not to, and I still think about him every day. I also pray every day that this will come to an end for me.. but that is the other thing I struggle with so much, His time and not mine.... *pouts* |
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