Debbie

Hi All,

Well, I am sitting here in silence. I took my neice to see her mother a day early. I've been sick this week and my patience was wearing thin every day. My hats are off to all you moms!! I think it has to be the hardest job in the world especially if you work another full time job, yikes.....

Anyway, I informed her mother that she would definitely need to take her daughter every weekend since we are now into month two and this was only supposed to be for one month. I have to say I so annoyed with my nephew and his girlfriend. You would think they would be working extremely hard to find a place to get their family back together (she is due with the fourth child in approximately 5 weeks) and they don't even have any prospects and from what my sister has told me they haven't even attempted to save any money. I am truly pissed!! Can I say that?

This child is so confused, she doesn't want to go see her mom (she wants her to come here) and then when she does see her mom she cries when mom leaves. Its all so sad.

I guess I am confused also. I have so many mixed emotions about the whole situation. I love my neice but I can now see what a hard job it is to raise a child especially when you don't feel good I can't put her back in a homeless situation but I think her parents need to get off their butts and get it together. I know I am rambling. Anyway, I haven't asked for any help from her parents since I thought they were saving to get their act together. But I have decided if we roll into November I am going to lay down the law to them. If they can't get it together, they are either going to have to contribute to her welfare and well being or I am going to go to the DRO and put in a court order for them to do it. I don't want to do this but hell, in the beginning we were lucky if we got a phone call once a week. I was thinking of going the foster care route but I don't want to be locked into a time frame in case they do get their act together.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. Sorry if this makes no sense but I think it made sense to me. Just needed to get it off my chest......lol

I hope you all have a great Saturday and a great weekend. I will be trying to stop in again but I am still sick so now is the time to get some rest and when I am not resting I need to get some things done around the house......whew.......my hats are off to all you moms yet again!!! I think I need to call my mom and ask her how she did it

Take care.
Many hugs.
Love,
Debbie

JT

Debbie,

Sorry you are sick...and pissed at the same time!

It sounds like your nephew is taking a vacation. Well all vacations come to an end...we all have to pack our bags and go back to the real world. I am not sure I would even wait until November. They put themselves in a terrible postion and the people who care about them slipped a pillow under their behinds and they have gotten comfortable. Unless someone puts a fircracker under them they won't be moving any time soon.

(((Hugs))))
JT

osier59

Deb,

Wow. You are really a remarkable woman. It is a bit overwhelming - all the responsibilities that come with a small child, and it's even more difficult when that child is not actually your own. I had 3 step children (plus my own 2) who came to live with me from a very dysfunctional situation. I did the best I could at the time... but at one point nearly put myself in the hospital from total exhaustion!

You are right to set boundaries, and also to make sure you take care of yourself. I know this child has not had a good life, but you don't have to be supermom to make it up to her. Can you find other moms who have kids her age and get her into some play groups? That way you might have 2 or 3 kids at your house for a few hours, but in return you get a few hours of BLISSFUL quiet when she is somewhere else playing!

As for her parents, that takes you back to powerlessness and putting the situation in God's hands. It's awesome that you are doing what you can to make a difference in the child's life, but ultimately the results are out of your hands.

Rest, relax, rejoice this weekend, and know that we are praying for you!

Osier59

Morning Glory

Deb,

That's a tough situation. I've been there. I had a little boy once that ended up at my house because no one really cared about him. After trying to talk to his father I ended up having to have the state come get him. It was so sad. He wanted to stay at my house. It really made me mad because then I ended up looking like the bad guy instead of the parents.

You are doing a wonderful thing for your niece, but keep in mind that it is not your responsibility and you can find alternatives for her if you need to.

I hope you feel better.

Hugs,
MG

Paulie

Deb -

I am right with everyone here, you can't let them take advantage of you. they have to take some responsibility for themselves sometime and the longer people let them slack the longer they will slack.

You are doing a great thing for that little girl but being without her parents has to be hard. Ijust cannot imagine how a mom would not call her child, anyway, keep up the good work and take care of yourself, being sick does not help all the emotions that are going on in side you.

(((DEB)))

Ann

Barbiedeb

I think you are making good moves, to talk to them and tell them they need to take the child at least for weekends. And I agree with JT that I would not wait until the end of Nov. to lay down the law...tell them that you want to see some progress fast, or you will be filing for support.

My heart goes out to you and if I could I would send you some of my chicken and potato soup...it is delicious and cures everything.

Kittycat

********************{Barbiedeb}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Being a Mom is tough enough when it is your own child..!
You have a real situation there...........I feel sorry for you and that child. Hey thopse [parents think wow..........this is a good thing.
They don't sound very reponsible at all.
I will site an example for you: My A"s X used to dump off his three kids every weeked for basically me to watch. I raised my three..........once she left their 6 year old at our house for three weeks with pneumonia, granted this was my A's kid, but I did all the work. The MOTHER did not see that child for the entire time he was so sick. She would call..................once in a blue moon....this is another reason the A and I had big problems....he stufffed those kids till I was PISSED!
Moral............you have to do what you think is right...I don't know the state laws but this child is in trouble and you need help.
Take care you are really doing a wonderful thing
Love Kitty

Debbie

Hi All,

Thanks for all your words of encouragement and support, you are the best.

I took a break this weekend from the computer and my house. I went down the shore and spent the night. It was a beautiful weekend here. Now I am back to reality. I am still have this cold but it is slowly easing off. I think the get away and the sunshine helped a lot.

I am not sure what exactly I am going to do. I kind of just dropped her this weekend but I think next weekend when they come to get her, I am going to sit them or her (depending if they both come) and see what is going on and tell them how I feel about the whole situation. I won't do the foster care route simply because of the long term commitment but I will do the support thing, maybe that will light a fire under their butts

Hope you all had a great weekend!!

Hugs to you all ******************{Group}}}}}}} I love each of you!!!

Love,
Debbie

osier59

Welcome Back!

Its good to know that you got a little R & R. Sometimes these things are SOOO difficult with no real easy answers. It's good that you had some time away to look at your situation from the outside in... and I think you have a good plan.

Know that you are loved and supported no matter what happens next!

Osier59