CodeMaster

This is so interesting!!! I noticed that too.. the worst the dreams, the better my days! Last night I didnt have dreams of her again! Its so interesting to hear what a counselor may have to say about the situation from a medical point of view.

Very helpful post, thanks for sharing... I am glad I woke up today without dreaming, I still think of her when I first wake up. Mainly cause I wake up checking myself... hopefully this will all end after many nights of peaceful sleeps.

Cynay

Wow... what a wonderful thread.

I really needed to read all this... Thank you!

CAdrmn

I can't wait until the morning that I wake up and my first thought isn't my ex-ABF. When I can actually sleep at night without tossing and turning because I'm dreaming of him (all good, never nightmares). When I don't think of him 24/7. It's been 3 months and I don't cry every time I think of him, so I guess I'm making progress. But it's such slow progress and I want to feel better now!
I wouldn't even dream of getting back out there and trying to meet someone else. I wouldn't inflict this misery on someone else. And if the ex did call, I'd drop that someone else in a hot minute. Not fair at all. And besides, I'd like to learn how to be in a healthy relationship before I start another one. I don't think I have a clue.

CodeMaster

Just take it nice and easy CAdrmn, its obvious you had very deep love for him and it wont be easy to let go of anything so deep. It sounds like your progressing, and 3 months I know feels like eternity, but in time, things will heal. I'm still working on healing myself, just sharing what everyone has shared with me to ya.

Hang in there...

CodeMaster

Another night of no dream of her!!!! I wonder if its really going away. I think I'm really letting go! My sanity has strengthened and I feel very clear and strong in every way! Its nice...

CAdrmn

CodeMaster ~

Congrats on a good nites sleep
One Day At A Time Darlin!!

Thanks for the good words for me too!
He was and is the love of my life. Took me 37 years to find him, I guess it will take a little time to get over him.

Minx1969

I love this post over in the Nar-Anon Forum..if you haven't read it, read it and read it again!! It really does describe the different stages, feelings we go through and great examples of how to take care of yourself.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=48141

yankeegirl13

It's been eight months since my X-ABF and I officially broke up. We were off and on up until he went into AA in January. However, I can't seem to move on. I think of him every minute of the day, I still find myself crying at times. Not so much as before though. It's just so hard because we still do talk. We have made progress but every time we make progress I feel he pulls back again. For the first time since he started AA he told me that he still loves me. Then he went to AZ to visit his sister, called the first 3 days and then I didn't hear from him for 6 days. The only reason I heard from him today was because I had some bad news to tell him about my mom and I was really upset, so I called his sisters and left a messge. He called back and was very nice and stuff but he said that he hasn't called b/c by time he gets home its late (time difference) and he is tired. I just think its an excuse. There is no reason why he can't call and leave a message while I am at work or something. Anyway, now he tells me he thinks he might stay an extra week b/c his sister is sick and she need his help. He also told me that she wants him to move in there with her to help her out (she has perm. nerver damage). When he told me this tonight I started crying really hard. He sad he loved me and everything would be alright, just take it "DAY BY DAY". He said he would call me later, but I won't hold my breath. How can he take care of her and help her out, when he can't even take care of himself? Is this pain every going to end? Why can't I just walk away. I know that this is not the right thing for me, but I just can't let go. I love him too much. But I know that he is eventually going to move to AZ, whether it be next month or a year from now. We had plans to move there after we were suppose to get married. So I knew that eventually he would go. But I just don't understand how he can still love me and think about moving across the USA. After what I went through this past year, there is no way that I would just give up everything here to move there (not saying that he asked me). But I can't even talk about things with him b/c all he says is "ONE DAY AT A TIME". This isn't enough for me. I need to have some direction. I just want this pain to end soon. Whether we end up together or not. I think it is going to be a long rough summer for me. Thank god I am off for the entire summer! I guess for now until he gets back I have to take it "day by day". No one ever said life was easy! Code- I think going through the fire is going to be somewhat of a long journey. Just be patient....I do feel it getting a litttle better, but VERY SLOWLY!!! Before fall asleep at night think of positive things. Even make up things in your head. If you do this, a lot of times you will end up dreaming about what you were thinking of befoe you fell to sleep. I do it all the time and it works (most of the time). Try it, I learned it from a professor in college.