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-   -   What Else Can I do? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/58641-what-else-can-i-do.html)

stixxx 05-09-2005 04:07 AM

What Else Can I do?
 
My sister is slowly killing herself with booze...MadDog 20/20 is the drink of choice at the moment.

She has an extremely supportive and loving family, ready to help get her the care she needs NOW. She has endured some very painful experiences in her life, and seems hell-bent on numbing her pain 24/7 with booze.

We have done everything we can, but she refuses to acknowledge the fact that she needs help or is leaving a lot of carnage along the way.

We're at a point where she has got to decide on her own whether or not she wants to stop and get help, or just drink herself to death (her liver is already in poor shape).

Not expecting any miracle suggestions here, (please pass on any advice or ideas though) but am looking for those who have endured the pain and frustration of watching a loved one slowly deterioate, knowing that there is nothing you can do.

Thanks

equus 05-09-2005 04:18 AM

A loved and wanted alcoholic.

^^ I keep finding I'm glad I wrote this! In all the fluster of doing - even when we're doing for ourselves I think it can sometimes be forgotten that we are watching loved ones who have been/are/could be very ill indeed and there's emotions that go with that.

First of all there's a need for all of us to look after ourselves through it. I personally use counselling, SR, and friends to help me through. It IS a hard situation so it's worth acknowledging that and taking the extra care needed.

cwohio 05-09-2005 05:25 AM

stixxx - my ah's health has failed in the past year and a half. what equus says is true - we need to take care of ourselves because only the alcoholic can make the decision to do something. you might want to look into al-anon and of course, come to this site often for support and an outlet.

hugs - chris

FriendofBill 05-09-2005 06:25 AM

What else can you do?

Al-anon is the ONLY soultion for my living with alcoholism. Hope you give it a try.

If you have specific questions, post them here and others will share thier experience, strength and hope.

Glad youre here , welcome!!

equus 05-09-2005 06:30 AM


Al-anon is the ONLY soultion for my living with alcoholism.
The word that makes that statement true and valid is my. There are many here who have found al-anon does help, just as I felt counselling, here and friends helped (with a bit of research thrown in ;) )

newbeginings 05-09-2005 11:21 AM

I do both al-anon and counseling. I try to keep friends and family out of it, even if it is other family members. I think it would be important if the counselor was knowledgeable about alcohol issues. My AH's drinking has brought his health to a dangerous place. He has several different organs in his body beginning to shut down. Even with that, it is still his decision to get better or drink himself to death. I've finally have learned that I have little to do with it.

stixxx 05-12-2005 07:58 PM

Thanks all...the frustration and pain of asking oneself "..what more can I do...did I do enough..." are always on my mind. And the harsh reality of letting go is so foreign to me, as I'm sure it is to others. You just want to keep holding on, nurturing them, hoping they wake up sober as if they've been in a coma the whole time.


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