mioi

Hi. I have a friend who is either: 1.) in denial about her alcoholism, or 2.) is not an alcoholic. I must note that she is European, and Europeans are known to drink to no end. She displays a lot of the characteristics of an alcoholic: very high tolerance level, 1 serving does absolutely nothing to her; drinks EVERY DAY, *at least* 1 beer, and *at least* 1 red wine in the evenings. it's pretty much routine; I asked her to stop drinking for 1 week, for my birthday, she seemed extremely hesistant to do it but willing to try. Whenever we go out, we *must* go to some place that serves alcohol, or even if it's not mealtime, we must stop somewhere to sit down where she can have a drink. It can get annoying for me sometimes, because we must sometimes search and search for a place that serves alcohol. One time, I thought it would be nice to sit in a cafe and have a pastry or coffee. When she discovered they didn't serve beer at this cafe (which is actually kind of normal in the US) she was just a little uncomfortable about that. The only thing is, its like normal for her and her culture, so she doesn't feel bad about it at all, no matter how much i tell her alcohol addiction is bad. When I tell her I think she might be dependent on alcohol, she says, she doesn't act strange or her personality doesn't change when she drinks, and she never gets drunk from drinking. That is true, but that is NOT the definition of alcoholism. I asked her why she drinks so much, and she says it makes her feel good. I personally don't drink and have no idea what this "good" feeling feels like.

So, I thought I would ask this group: is she an alcoholic in denial? and should i proceed to help her? or should i let her be and drink? if she moved to the USA i think she would be considered an alcoholic, but it seems like she isn't one in Europe, as all of her peers and parents and relatives drink just as much, if not more. Are they all alcoholics too?

jcw1964

My understanding about addiction is the use of a substance for a certain "feeling" that is uncontrolable.

If she drinks to make herself feel good and cant stop, she probaly is an alcoholic.

Just my thoughts
Good luck and God Bless
Jeff

FriendofBill

The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence ( NCADD )
Definition of Alcoholism
http://www.recoveryemporium.com/Articles/NCADD.htm

Perhaps this link may help you define the disease.

She certainly sounds like she is alcoholic.

Here is something that may help YOU as a loving friend:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Good luck and keep posting!

mushroom

Is she an alcoholic in denial? maybe.
How do you proceed to help her? you don't.
yes, Europeans do drink a lot more than we do without necessarily being alcoholics, but if she's uncomfortable without her 'fix' she may be an alcoholic but only she can decide that. Her level of drinking may well be considered normal in her culture but she might still be an alcoholic.
From what I can see, the French and Italians drink a lot without necessarily being alcoholics, while the level of alcohol consumption that's considered normal in Russia is absolutely dysfunctional. Doesn't it sometimes seem like all Russians are alcoholic? the men die so young, and so often of alcohol-related causes. Average life spans went up significantly for the few years that Gorbachev managed to reduce vodka production, and plummeted again as soon as he gave up. It's as if the culture itself is alcoholic.

mioi

thanks for the replies. they were very helpful. after thinking about it some more, i do believe it's just part of her culture. it's not really a problem unless i turn it into a problem. she doesn't miss work from hangovers, she doesn't drive drunk, she functions pretty normally in all situations and does not have social (family/friends) problems because of her drinking.. *UNLESS* someone, like me, turns it into a problem. i'm still a little disturbed by all the drinking, as it is a health risk, not just social/mental consequences which she doesn't seem to be affected by. i might just encourage her to drink less and tell her to be aware of all the drinking and health issues which may arise in the future.

equus

FoB - I think that is an old definition. The Journals on alcoholism use the DSM IV - TR definition or the World Health Organisation one (which is very similar to DSM).

DSM IV - TR Diagnostic Criteria.

You have to scroll down a bit through the ad's - but hey it's free and on the net!!

Also try googling 'NIAAA' I can never remember what the letters stand for but it's America's primary institute for alcoholism research and has a very informaitve FAQ page. (Edit - the letters stand for National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism)

NIAAA FAQ on alcoholism

You can also access Journal research articles there if we want to check for yourself what I've said above about the currently used definition.

nocellphone

Sounds like a good idea to me. I find it imposssible to stop anyone from doing anything, anyway.

If I'm bothered by someone's drinking, drugging, or other unsavory behaviors, it's usually time for me to set some boundaries. I do this by not hanging around with them while they're engaging in these bothersome behaviors. I can let them know why I won't be at the bar/party/wine-tasting event/open crackhouse (always keeping it about me and my feelings rather than about them and their behaviors), or I can simply decline the invitation. This helps keep my sanity intact and allows the people in my life to experience the full range of what they need to experience without my interference...