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I Need Help!!!

Old 09-24-2002, 09:51 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Morning Glory
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I have all the doors and windows secure. It would give me enough time to hear him and get out one of the doors. I have everything I need in place. My office is right down the street and I can go there if I need to. It has an alarm system with a panic button.

I'm getting all of his things together to leave outside for him so he doesn't need to come in here. If he doesn't get back in the program and continues to drink I will get a restraining order.

I am listening to logic and not my heart. I am asking myself what I would tell someone else to do and I'm doing the same thing. I really do love my son and this is so hard to do, but I can't think of anything else right now so this is it.

Love and hugs to all of you,

MG
 
Old 09-24-2002, 10:23 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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You poor thing. I can't imagine your pain. But I do worry for your safety - as all these wonderful people here do - and was just thinking would it be possible for you to arrange a time for him to come pick up his things & let your police dept send a cop out there - just as a little protection for you - to monitor things or just to stand there & watch. The cop doesn't have to do anything but stand on patio or sit in his car - as long as he is THERE when your son comes. I have tried this when I left my 1st hubby when my child was only 17 months old. I got tired of his ****/using, etc....and walked to payphone & called the cops to just meet me at the apt door while I went in and grabbed play-pen/clothes & stuff. They just waited outside - at my request - which is good, cuz him & a friend were inside running dope and all freaked out. I didn't want him arrested, I just wanted me and my baby out of there & I knew he wouldn't have let me go unless I had the cops there. Good luck & know that your doing the right thing. Please be safe.
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Old 09-24-2002, 11:32 AM
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((((mg)))))))

I am praying for you, please keep strong! You need to focus on you right now. NONE of this is your fault...... your a wonderful person.....

Love you!
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Old 09-24-2002, 12:38 PM
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Good MG,

I am glad to hear you are listening to your head right now. But it still hurts so bad.

Right now if there is something you can do...do it. If you can't change it (like the situation he has put himself into) let it go. It will still be there when you eventually have a moment to break down.

We will all be sleeping on your couch tonight and taking lookout shifts. We are there!!!

Hugs,
JT
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Old 09-24-2002, 01:30 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I LOVE what JT said. We are all supporting you, and we are all here for you, taking shifts on your couch!!

I celebrate 3 yrs in al anon tonight. I don't really have much to say,when it's my turn, but I will stand up and share my gratitudes. One of the things I am most thankful for is that I have met all of you here, and its a safe place to share our pain,sorrow and struggles as well as our experience, strength and hope!!

Love y'all
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Old 09-24-2002, 02:18 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hope you are making it through the day
O.K. I can just imagine how overwhelming
this is. The first few days will
be the hardest, like being hit by a freight train-mind, body, and soul. But it's amazing how resilient we are through
crisis. We learn how to pick ourselves
back up, brush off, and start over.
I hope you can have yourself a good cry,
to me crying is part of the healing process. You did absolutely everything
you could to help your son, he was very
very lucky. I am sure in time you will
have a relationship with him again-but
you are doing what you need to be doing
right now-stepping away and protecting
yourself.

(((HUGS + PRAYERS))))
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Old 09-24-2002, 02:57 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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My son called crying saying he wanted to come home. He said he was scared and couldn't live on the streets. I told him he could not come home.

I don't know if I have the strength to do this. He told me he was going to throw himself in front of a bus. I called the hospital and let them know that he called me threatening suicide and they said they would keep an eye on him. It is full again and he is still waiting for a bed.

If I leave him out there it will be the hardest thing I've ever done.

Do you think he can survive???

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 09-24-2002, 03:06 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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YES!

The Beav has been out there for some time now. Friends? He will call a buddy. The girlfriend? She will put him up. It has taken the Beav alot of years to finally wear out the last of his friends. To many if you ask me....and then he did spend some time in a shelter. They are not so bad. The place the Beav satyed in treated him really well...until he got into a fight there and then he couldn't stay there for 30 days.
Then he had a new grlfriend for about a month...she didn't have a clue.

It was the hardest thing I ever did, too, MG but time marches on and he is still alive and eating.

Don't forget the knife!

((((HUGS)))))
JT
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Old 09-24-2002, 03:50 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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MG -

I am sorry I missed this and was not there for you last night.

You are doing the right thing. You are not responsible for his acitons. I don;t have to tell you how wonderful you are, everyone else has done that already.

You stay strong for you!!! He has to go his own path. I did and so does he. My mom had to spend many nights knowing I had no where to live but she had to do it for me. I guess i just contradicted myself didn't I? I mean you have to first protect yourself, and second you cannot give him a place to fall, he drank and now he has to take the consequences, that is what I mean.

I am sorry you are going through this, but I am grateful that you have such a strong program and sense of yourself to do the right thing.

We all love you and as JT said, we are taking shifts on your couch tonight!!!!

(((MG)))
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Old 09-24-2002, 04:32 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Thanks again everyone.

I think this is going to be a bumpy ride for me. I will be back I'm sure.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 09-24-2002, 04:43 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Hi MG

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

It's amazing sometimes that we are how they are. When they're doing fine, we feel good no matter what else in life is happening. And when they are active in their disease, it just triggers all the stuff that puts us in our disease.

The best thing any of us can do is to work every day on our recovery. What used to be unbearable is now still painful but not as frightening because we know the drill. And we get tired a lot.

I'll be on that couch too tonight...can I have the early shift? We are all here to go through this with you and to let you know we love you and care. Keep safe and strong.
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Old 09-24-2002, 05:21 PM
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MG

A you guys know.my daughter had been out on the streets until recently and it is an awful feeling. No getting around it. I can say I am powerless. .let it go. .but it is scarey and awful but it is out of your hands he made the choice MG and now he must live with it.

I recently read an article about Peter and the Lord walking on water. Peter was able to walk out in faithon the water but as soon as his faith faltered he sunk into the water. .as Anns says Faith conquers fear.. So we have to have faith that our Higher Power is watching over this whole mess and something good will come out of it.

I have to think that these types of consequences. .whether it is jail. .the streets or psyche units are the addicts "medicine" rather than just consequences. Because as we all know it is pain that motivates change.

Hang in there girlie. .I know how you feel.

Mo

PS I did accept my daughter's collect call from jail tonight because I wanted to and she does sound a tad better. .but no hopes up for me. . Taking it a day at a time.

Last edited by mo; 09-24-2002 at 05:25 PM.
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Old 09-24-2002, 05:46 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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MG/My prayers and thoughts are with you until this is resolved in some way.The Jabez prayer is a good one.My sister who recently died came after me with knives ,and everything you can imagine.So I know where your at,and I feel for you.You have endured so much lately something good will begin to happen for you soon.Keep that strong head up and keep on keeping up.********************{hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] OLNS
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Old 09-24-2002, 07:34 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Hope it's okay if I bring my cat....

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Old 09-24-2002, 07:34 PM
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********************************************{MG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
All I can give you is a big internet hug~ : (
I hope things come around and you stay safe and no harm comes to your son. This has to be the hardest call of all.....I sure could throw the husband A on his butt...but to be so strong with your child has to be the true test......Know we all are thinking and praying for you.
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Old 09-24-2002, 08:02 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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That couch looks so comfortable for everyone. I'm all set up for cats now. Inherited 3 of them last week. Very interesting. I'm not the litter box kind of person.

As soon as I'm sure they know where home is they are going out. One is out and doing fine. The other 2 are in here with me. They have been going in and out. One is my favorite so I will be keeping her. The other one will also stay in the backyard because I don't have the heart to move him again. My daughter will take one back.

My son's boss called and left a message for me to call my son and left a number that doesn't work. She said she got a hold of my son and I should call him. I told her today that he relapsed and was in the hospital and he couldn't come back home and would be homeless when he got out. So you can imagine what this woman is thinking about me. She has only seen my wonderful hardworking son. I'm sure she thinks I'm a monster.

I looked up rooms for rent in this area and there are a lot of them so he shouldn't have trouble finding one. I think it might be ok.

Hugs,
MG
 
Old 09-24-2002, 08:09 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Ann
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MG

My son is renting a room - it's clean and in a fairly decent house and the other renters are not big party people. He does just fine there. It's not too far from me, so he can visit, but close enough that he can go home too. It really is better for us when they live somewhere else. And probably better for them too.

Don't worry what anyone thinks. She may not think that at all, and even if she does she has no clue what this life can be like.

Just keep taking it one day at a time. Things have a way or working out, sometimes when we least expect it.

Hang in there and keep looking after you. Turn it over and let your Higher Power handle this one.

******{MG}}}}
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Old 09-24-2002, 10:21 PM
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MG;


I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I know that you have made some very good decision the last few days and some very hard ones. You are doing a great job and I know that you will make it through this because your Higher Power is right there and so are we. Are you attending meetings too? Don't forget yourself in this because we all know that we can't help others if there is nothing left of us. Remember the quote " Courage is fear that has said it's prayers"

Hugs;
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Old 09-25-2002, 04:44 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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(((((((((( MG )))))))))))

I'm soooooooo sorry you're going through this. I don't really have any advise for you. I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you and your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,
Galnva
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Old 09-25-2002, 04:46 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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I was checking on you MG...must have been a quiet nite...at least no one was snoring!!

Hugs,
JT
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