Today's Meeting
 

Every so often I go to an alanon meeting and long-term members have had a bad week and are a mess. Today there were three of them. Not only does it break my heart to see these wonderful people just devistated over the week's events, but it also scares me to death. Some of these people have been going for 20+ years. I'm in my first year, and it terrifies me to think that it is possible that in 20 years this horrible disease will still be ruining my life. I think the thing I hate most about it is the thing that is supposed to set me free: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it and I can't control it. There was a lot of crying and hugs today. I didn't have the best week, but compared to theirs I had nothing to complain about. I just wish I knew now where I'll be in 20 years. I guess it is a good thing we don't have crystal balls. I think what keeps most of us going on is the hope that tomorrow will be brighter. But that isn't always the case........

That is scary.... its something that cant be cured for life. You got to have some real love for the one with the disease to stay with them for a life long hardship. Its filled with delimas and only each individual can decide what path to take is what it comes down to.

Sorry you saw quite some pain, I feel heart broken when I come to this forum and read many in pain myself (as I am in as well, every morning I still wake up with dreams and thoughts of her, but its getting better as life gets amazingly brighter without the insanity!)

Best of luck to you and everyone, destiny will be there for you.

As a long timer in Al Anon, I can tell you this.

Recovery doesnt prevent the crisies that life brings, it just enables us to handle them better and more efficiently that before recvoery.

Ive been in recovery 16 years...I ,too , at one time, thought that after a certain period of growth, Id no longer face the dreaded pain of alcohlism eventually. That was my delusional thinking..just as the alcoholic is never cured, I am never immune from the stinkin thinkin, fear, shame etc that my disease brings.

Today, however, I know how to deal with it so it doesnt over power my life, I use the tools that are ingrained in my soul.

Sometimes we fall down, but this time we get up faster, with more hope, and start walking in faith again.